Caught ballet teacher pretending to shoot my daughter.

[plumviolet]

Ok, back story.

Dd1 has just turned three this week. I am a sahm with another dd2 who is 18mo. For dd1's birthday we got her ballet lessons in a well known ballet class near us. Lovely class, about 20 girls in pink tutu's between 3 & 4 yo. So cute.

Was really nervous about sending dd in as she has been with me for the last 3 years, no nursery just play group with me there. (Because of the close age gap between dds i haven't been able to get out much to organised classes.) I was amazed, she ran straight in and didn't look back. She's clearly ready to spend some time with other kids her age.

Went to follow her in and was told that mums are not allowed in as it is a distraction for the girls. Thought woohoooo!! Dd2 asleep in pram, i can actually have an hr to myself and maybe go for a coffee nearby, wednesdays are going to be my new favourite day of the week.

(Right if you are still reading, thank you!)

Finished coffee early, was a bit anxious so went back to class and opened door a tiny crack to sneek a peak and was horrified as my daughter was the only child not sitting nicely in a circle and was running around the hall pretending to be a butterfly or something. She was happy as larry and was clearly enjoying herself, but i could see the two teachers trying politely to get her to participate but she ignored them. I then saw one of the teachers make the sign of a gun and pretended to shoot her and then laughed.

Ok, i understand that teachers are human and get frustrated with the rest of us but aibu to be upset by this?

Should i take her out?

Should i say something?

I guess i am upset two fold by this, firstly why is my daughter the only one not participating? I dont expect her to be the class star but i dont want her to be the diffficult one. she loves it and i know she'll get alot out of something like this.

Secondly, surely it's the job of the ballet teachers to keep her interested and not get so annoyed that they want to shoot her!!

There seems to be research showing both outcomes. This is a simple common sense summary www.btha.co.uk/pdfs/aggressive_toys.pdf

I have to say ds2 and ds3's weapons of choice tend to be light sabres but I don't worry about them growing up to become Jedis.

My friend banned toy guns but gave up when he son started machine gunning people with the hoover hose.

Although looks as if it's wise to let rats playfight

I think it's highly unlikely that they don't like her. They're probably quite used to children being a little out of control in their first few classes. I take it you didn't have a word with them after about how she managed? If they didn't seek you out then she's almost certainly OK.

Give it a few weeks. Meanwhile, have a few words with her about doing as she's told by her teachers and sitting nicely and so on, so that she knows what you expect from her.

If she had been running about a lot and not listening etc, as is likely if this is the first formal thing she's done without you there, then a pretend shoot is a simple and not very serious way of demonstrating that.

I think that's awful. It would have really upset me and my DC would not be going back.

Ballet is crap anyway. Let's face it, what's the likely hood of her becoming a professional ballerina? My daughter is forced to do it at her all girls nursery school and told me yesterday that 'I don't want to do ballet mummy, it's boring and stupid.'. She is also three.

Her running about may simply be that she is strong willed and also realises that sitting in a circle singing 'good toes, naughty toes' is actually stupid. Maybe she's just very bright

Do they still do " good toes, naughty toes"?

They do in Edinburgh!

Nasty behaviour on the part of the adults, not appropriate in front of children.

Dont blame you for being upset.

I was kicked out of ballet at 3 or 4 after refusing to take my jeans off and wear the tutu 3 weeks in a row . Never looked back. That ballet teacher was a weapon as well!

It's true that school based ballet lessons are often not very good - nice toes and naughty toes is very outdated. But a good ballet school is certainly worth paying for for a child who enjoys it. I studied ballet until I was about 16 and I feel sure that it has given me good strength., flexability and stamina as an adult.