To think it's rude to ask a friend how much they earn or how much their house cost?

[Toffeeapple21]

A while ago a good friend asked how much I earn. I was taken back as I was brought up to believe you don't ask such questions. I didn't want to tell her as imagine I earn a lot more than she does and actually felt quite embarrassed. Also, I just don't consider it to be anyone else's business.

Also just moved house and lots of friends have hinted at how much house cost, although no one has asked outright. I know they could always look on Zoopla or Rightmove if they really want to find out.

AIBU to think its rude to ask these questions, or am I being a prude?

YANBU - although a friend of ours is notorious for checking up how much the houses in our village have sold for

Wages YANBU, house YABU. It's all cultural anyway. Some cultures, it's fine, others not. My theory is that if we spoke about money more, less people would end up in crippling debt.

House prices are public knowledge so that seems a fair enough question. Salary is much more personal and shouldn't be asked after unless both friends agree it's up for discussion.

I don't think it's rude really, I think if there was more openness about salaries we wouldn't have so much inequality in pay. I'm always happy to tell people what I earn.

I think it's a bit rude - I rent and people don't think twice about asking how much I pay, it's like me asking what their mortgage is?

Wages I agree with headfairy I'm still amazed that women can get paid less than men in the same roles, so if we spoke more openly about salary I think firstly we would all be amazed and secondly it may solve problems.

It depends on the friendship really, I have a couple of friends who I'm happy to talk to about that stuff. Others not so much.

eleanor none of your business

£34k and £380k

Meh, I don't see the big deal. If they are offended by the answer they shouldn't ask. It is personal, though, I would consider it too private info to share with some people.

Besides, we can all look up recent actual house prices online now, anyway, that's hardly private any more.

I'm not normally bothered who knows what I earn, but I do have one very smug and nosey friend who has never told me what she earns but likes to hint that it is a huge amount of money and I know when she asked me how much I was getting paid that her sole interest was to prove she was on more (and therefore is better) than me.

I didn't answer her question!

In general though I'm not worried who knows what I earn and tend to agree that there would be more fairness in pay levels and more onus on employers to justify their salary structures if people were more open about pay.

I think it depends on how well you know someone. My best friend I wouldn't have a problem asking her, and i have done. And I wouldn't care about telling her how much I earn (currently £0.) We discussed house prices when we both moved house, we nosed on Right Move at the houses anyway.

I wouldn't ask someone I only chatted to occasionally their financial circumstances though.

YANBU about earnings, that is no ones business but your own.

Regarding the house, I would tell someone if they wanted to know because they were looking to move to a similar area or house, but would tell them to bugger off if they were just being nosey!

emsyi I know just what you mean
The more cagey the higher the salary ime (not that I ask, but have experienced what you are talking about)
agree with headfairy open is the way to go

I feel about it like I do my weight or age - I would never ask, because some people are a bit touchy, but will happily tell, as it's really not all that important. What I never tell is how much DH and I have in savings (because it's more than the house cost, which seems a bit weird to me)

So £12k, £135k, 11st 11lbs, 33.

I hated the fact that when we moved house, absolutely anyone could look up how much we paid for it. It felt really intrusive. (and I just bet some of our acquaintances did.)

I would never ask anyone how much they earned. My dh's sister once asked dh how much he earned - and then was clearly very pissed off when it was more (much more) than her. She's older than him and has to be best at everything - including parenting.

£20k, £40k

if anyone wants to know!

I don't find it rude, if I don't want to tell I just say so.

But I don't really care.

I earn about £26k, my house cost £320k, DP earns about £45k, PILs gave us about £100k towards the house. Anything else?

40K, Bogeyface? I want to live near you...

It is in some cultures and in others it is perfectly acceptable.

Bought it 13 years ago Mrs, at the absolute arse end of the market, literally weeks before the prices started to shoot up. Not bad for a 3 bed terrace with a big garden though, if I do say so myself!

Good for you Bogeyface. I am verr jealous.

Ummm I'd say YANBU re salaries. In my friendship circle we're all quite open but I suppose once a couple of us start climbing the career ladder a bit faster that will change.

YABU about house prices though,that can be found out on the interest anyway!

I don't mind but being mid 20s I'm one of the few that own a house but don't tell people I own unless asked specifically.

As I don't know anyone in RL I don't mind telling you though Me £0 DH £26k House £100k unsecured debts £about 1/4 of house