AIBU not to go to SIL's Las Vegas wedding and go to Florida instead?

[notso]

DH and I have been saving to go to Florida with DC for two years, we were planning on going next year.

SIL has decided to get married in Las Vegas next year.
We have been invited however the itinerary is not child friendly. Our 4 DC could attend the ceremony and meal but the rest of the five day celebration is just for adults.
My parents have offred to look after DC so we could go however DD 13 is already very upset that she is missing the wedding and DH and I decided that we wouldn't want to go without her and upset her further.

It has now been suggested by PIL that if we can go to Florida then we can go to Las Vegas, and "people" will be greatly offended if we miss her wedding for a holiday.

DH doesn't want to upset his family, but we really want to have our holiday.

well, that's where being assertive comes in.
You can agree to attend the wedding and then explain that you're going to disappear and do child friendly stuff for the rest of the time. If they're offended by this, fuck them.

This sort of thing really winds me up.

If you want to get married abroad fine - but don't expect everyone around you to fall in line and shell out loads of money to attend. Equally if you want people with kids to come don't make the event specifically adult orientated.

It's not just the money, it's the holiday time from work as well.

This year DH and I have had 5 different invites to weddings and stag/hen events abroad. If we went we would have no time to spend with our DC to cover holidays and adding up the cost it would run to many many thousands.

However, when you politely say you can't go you are treated with a degree of incredulity and hostility that you would miss such an important event .

My view, if my presence is so bloody vital then choose to get married somewhere that doesn't mean my family sacrificing our annual holiday for, because quite frankly my DC's are far more important than anyone.

Go to Florida with a clear conscience and have a great time. Vegas is crap for kids from my experience (kids were 7 and 10 at the time - fortunately it was only 2 days of the holiday).

The irony here is your SIL sounds reasonable in the sense she isn't making a drama and having your DD to play a role in the later party is lovely.

If you PIL don't like it tough. They aren't offering to foot the bill or offering to tell your kids they can't go to Florida.

Hmm. If I were a kid, and you asked me: Vegas and all this driving up from SoCal and what not, or Disney Florida? NO contest, and yes, I've been to Vegas many many times because I lived in Denver and my best mate's daughter had a lovely apartment in Henderson so we used to go there often enough.

They saved money to go to a FLORIDA, not a 5-day adults only (except one day) wedding in Vegas.

Ifpeople are offended by that, they can foot the bill for 6 people to go to Vegas.

It's a wedding, not world peace or someone seriously ill.

Life as a family with kids at home is way way too short to spend compromising it for someone else's self-indulgence.

YANBU

Then I'd send your DH on his own.

Disneyland CA sucks, IME.

You have 4 children, your SIL has a 5 day shock wedding which cannot accommodate them, therefore you are taking your children on the holiday you'd planned.

^^ this

I have been there a number of times my dad lives in la so it's only a few hours drive. Been a few times with my brother my nieces do not come. Can think of far better places for children you can not even go in parts of the casino's with children

Also it sounds like your SIL is having some kind of home celebration as well where DD can be a bridesmaid equivalent. So you can do both!

Florida has this and LV has drunk gamblers.

you can do this in florida.

Vegas is no place for kids, she will have to go suck eggs, she chose to have it abroad making it inaccessible to many and she chose to 'ban' kids from certain parts or whatever despite having close relatives that have children (child free weddings piss me off..). Sooo she will have to deal with probably not many people turning up..

Go to Florida and have a wonderful time

big lack of imagination or knowledge from anyone who things Vegas isn't for children. If you asked my dc's, it's their favourite place in the US and they've been all over

You've been saving for the Florida holiday for 2 years. Don't let your wishes be hijacked by your sister. It might be her wedding but she has made it expensive and difficult for you to attend. Her wedding but your choice.

OP - you need to have a fight with your DH over this one, it's not on - if you had to save for 2 years this is a big deal ! In 2 years time your oldest will be 15 and probably won't want to go on a big family holiday with you.

I can't believe he'd rather upset his wife than his parents. That would be unforgivable for me.

This is a big deal. I would refuse to go to LV. Let him waste the family holiday budget, but dno't go along with it pretending you're happy about the whole thing, you will hate every minute because you know what it's cost you.

it is not lack it is not lack of imagination it is what people want from a holiday, the grand canyon may interest older children but may not younger ones

i personally do not see slot machines or the vegas them parks or the lions in the mgm hotel (which i think is horrible) as an attraction for children you do not everyone agrees

Yoohooooooo! I found these think your dh has lost his spine and balls.

cannot believe he is giving up a hard worked for holiday of a lifetime to avoid some strop from his parents!

Disney Florida v Grand Canyon and LV? No contest!

I'd be furious he's chosing to go to this ridiculous 5-day, adult-friendly self-indulgent wedding. No way I'd go.

Selfish behaviour by the couple/PILs, don't go, carry on saving for florida!

I fell out with some friends of DH's recently, they're planning a wedding and are keen to go to cyprus and think that'll be nice for the guests to make a holiday of it. I said it sounded nice but might mean some friends/family might choose not to go, eg if they couldn't afford or get annual leave for two holidays, led to major cats bum faces and DH in a strop with me!

So your DH wants you all to do vegas, and spend your holiday savings to do so? Or just him to go?

Bad.

Is DH cancelling Florida so he can go to Vegas this year? Is that it?

Sorry if I'm being slow on the uptake but what's all this about DD going? Didn't you say you had 4 children?

Florida should come ahead of the wedding. No question.

Its fine to put off Florida for a year, your kids will enjoy it more when older (mine loved it when the oldest were 15 and 13). It might seem like the cowards way out, but thats a good reason to make your DH "owe" you, maybe for a nice trip to the Mall or a Beauty treatment when you are out there. Do something nice but cheaper next year, and have another year to save.

(I know there is stuff for kids to do in LV, but its not the place for a "family holiday of a lifetime".)

If your PIL are upset with you imagine the pressure your SIL is under to accomodate their wishes.

A quick Google, flying from Orlando to Vegas on the Fri back on Monday with cheap accomodation works out at $475 each and the flights are 5 to 6 hours getting in 10pm ish, so you'd miss the family meal, etc and for six it would be upwards of £1783.48 so I think thats the 'pop overjust for the day' argument shot down. That's a family holiday in itself.

Chat to your Sil, sounds like she opting for Vagas to escape the fuss.
Explain to your PIL that Spa's, Vagas shows, drinking and gambling are obviously not for your children and that the 'Big Family' Party hosted here in Blighty will be the real celebration. Their kind offer to 'baby sit' is wonderful and so typically unselfish of them but you could n't possibly have them missing out a moment of the celebration and they should really be there focusing on supporting BIL & SIL.

Goto Florida in 2013, my parents took me on the 'holiday of a lifetime' when I was 15 to Florida and I felt totally robbed that I missing out on a big campiing trip with my mates to the Lake District.

Wow. So you holiday of a lifetime os off for one member of your family to go on a five day trip to LV.

Shit.