AIBU not to go to SIL's Las Vegas wedding and go to Florida instead?

[notso]

DH and I have been saving to go to Florida with DC for two years, we were planning on going next year.

SIL has decided to get married in Las Vegas next year.
We have been invited however the itinerary is not child friendly. Our 4 DC could attend the ceremony and meal but the rest of the five day celebration is just for adults.
My parents have offred to look after DC so we could go however DD 13 is already very upset that she is missing the wedding and DH and I decided that we wouldn't want to go without her and upset her further.

It has now been suggested by PIL that if we can go to Florida then we can go to Las Vegas, and "people" will be greatly offended if we miss her wedding for a holiday.

DH doesn't want to upset his family, but we really want to have our holiday.

but to add: we didn't expect anyone to come to our wedding and wouldn't have guilt tripped anyone about going. I'd stick with the holiday you've saved for. We've done Vegas/West Coast with children and there's plenty for them to do (and I much much prefer West Coast to Florida)

We got married in Vegas, then got a coach to LA, where we hired a car. The coach took about four hours and cost about £50 each. We used this company:
www.luxbusamerica.com/index.php

Go to Florida, and buy DH and DD an internal flight to go to Vegas for the wedding, maybe an overnighter.

What time of year is it? California weather can be a gad zillion times nicer depending on the time of year.

IMO, if you get married overseas from where you and all your family live, you have no right to be upset if some of them don't come to the wedding. Your SIL would be justified in being angry only if you were holidaying on Vegas at the same time and decided to skip the wedding. You're not, though.

Your choice is to go to the wedding and make your kids miss both the wedding and the holiday (since holiday budget goes on the wedding) OR miss the wedding and have the holiday. Either way, your kids miss the wedding but that's because your SIL is choosing to have a non child-friendly wedding in another country. Her doing (and her df, of course), not yours.

Another vote for DH (and maybe DD1) flying over for one overnight whilst you and the kids chill at your Florida accommodation. Only if you can afford it though.

Vegas and Florida are definitely not the same. DD loved Vegas but she still loves Florida way more!

YANBU. You've been saving for this holiday and your selfish sister in law has arranged an extravagant wedding that isn't child friendly.

Go to Florida.

Thanks again for all your replies.

We aren't going this year, DH won't upset anyone in the family except me. He thinks Florida will be better when two youngest are another year older anyway.

I don't think it's remotely selfish for her sister in law to arrange the wedding she wants. They can do whatever the hell they want with their wedding. But I do think that, if you marry abroad, you can't expect people to come. My attitude to our own Vegas wedding was that it people came along, it was a bonus. We didn't expect it. And we understood when people couldn't come.

Go to Florida. Anyone who chooses to marry abroad has to accept that some people will not, for whatever reason, be able to make it.

your sil is being unreasonable to expect you to fork out to attend a wedding in Las Vegas. Go to Florida and enjoy your well earned family holiday.

Notso- are you kidding? I bet you're all so disappointed?! Why is it OK for the family he's chosen to be disappointed and upset?

It's only me and him who are disappointed hermione DC don't know anything about our plans thankfully.

I've always been very much 'your wedding your choice' but this has really thrown me. It is difficult not to feel hurt by the whole thing, I'll be glad when it's all over tbh.

I haven't read the whole thread but Imo YANBU if you've had to save for 2 yrs to pay for the Florida holiday why on earth do your SIL and PIL think you'd have enough spare cash to suddenly book up for 5 days in Vegas! Go to Florida with your family and have a wonderful time

YANBU. You have saved to go to Florida and give your DC a great holiday and your IL's expect you to waste that money on SILs stupid extravagant wedding plans.

i woudl not take children to las vegas its an adults playground though there is entertainment for them it is very limited 3 days is enough there

go to florida and maybe take them out for a celebration meal when they return

We did a fantastic trip the other year. Landed in San Francisco, went to Alcatraz, saw the other sights in SF, drove through Yosemite National Park to see the falls, and the bears.. to Vegas, Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam. Stayed in Vegas for 3 days, then drove to LA and stayed there, went to Universal, Magic Mountain, Hollywood..

I would have loved that trip as a kid too.

that is a great trip but i still do not think LV is a great place for children especially if you are there when there are lots of whatever they call stag/hen parties

though i would recommend california over florida anyday it has so much more to offer

But this doesnt make any sense!

You cant seriously take DC to a wedding that specifially excludes them for 4 out of the 5 days!

If your DH went on his own, could you still afford Florida?

No way would I be lying down and taking this, I would be insisting on going ahead with Florida and letting him sort out the wedding/pil saga on his own!

Why dont you explain to your SIL and see what she says? If she is ok with it then your PIL (and you "D"H) wont have a leg to stand on.

am wondering how many of those who think Vegas is an 'adults playground' have actually been to Vegas? There is so so much for children to do in Vegas, these days. We were there for about 3 or 4 days and had the best time and our dc's remember it as the best 3 days of our 2 week holiday (including 4 days in LA including Disney etc)

Autumn

Its not about whether LV is good for kids or not. THe OP and her DH are being expected to attend a 5 day event, with kids only welcome one day. What are they supposed to do, leave them on the gaming tables all day and night?!

If they go then they wont be able to attend all of the events, it will be one going while the other takes the kids out and vice versa. Seems a massive waste of time and money to me, especially as it is supposed to be a "family" holiday.

it is just about THE most exciting place on earth for kids with loads of kid friendly shows and loads of free stuff like the lions at MGM Grand etc...and kid friendly slots at Coney Island in the New York New York.. and a stones throw from some of the most amazing sights in America like Hoover Dam. Unmissable. When we ask our dc's what they remember about their American trip they say 'Las Vegas' and Grand Canyon' despite the lovely day they spent at Disneyland California.

Ffs....I am sure it is a marvellous place!

But you are missing the point! This is supposed to be a family trip but the whole family will only be together for one day! The rest of the time will be one parent with the kids, one at a wedding event, and as fabulous as LV sounds, that isnt a family holiday in anyones book is it?

It is outrageous that the PIL think that they can dictate how the OP and her DH spend thousands of pounds just because they think "people" might not approve of them going to Florida. Especially when no one will care and the PIL are just using "people" as an excuse to get their own way!