AIBU not to go to SIL's Las Vegas wedding and go to Florida instead?

[notso]

DH and I have been saving to go to Florida with DC for two years, we were planning on going next year.

SIL has decided to get married in Las Vegas next year.
We have been invited however the itinerary is not child friendly. Our 4 DC could attend the ceremony and meal but the rest of the five day celebration is just for adults.
My parents have offred to look after DC so we could go however DD 13 is already very upset that she is missing the wedding and DH and I decided that we wouldn't want to go without her and upset her further.

It has now been suggested by PIL that if we can go to Florida then we can go to Las Vegas, and "people" will be greatly offended if we miss her wedding for a holiday.

DH doesn't want to upset his family, but we really want to have our holiday.

I suggest you smile graciously and then do as you like! Rise above all this rude insistence and manipulation. Wish them well, explain you have other long term plans, go to Florida and then have them round for dinner when it's all over and show each other your photographs. Hope you have a brilliant holiday - Florida's so much nicer than tacky LV anyway.

The event is basically,
night 1 welcome meal for all, show and gambling,
day 2 stag do and spa for females,
day 3 hen do and gambling for males,
day 4 wedding,
day 5 post wedding piss up.

I went to a wedding in Italy, to not cause offence. It was a forced holiday, with family, and very expensive. I regretted it after, as we were broke, and didn't enjoy it as much as usual holiday. We couldn't afford to just fly out to wedding for a weekend, so had to make it our main holiday. Afterwards I wished I'd just given an excuse. Its a mighty big ask to go abroad for a wedding, and decided next time someone gets married abroad I'm going to say NO.

Also, the wedding day itself, wasn't any better than an English wedding. Worse if anything, as they'd left it for a wedding planner to organise, and we had to travel over an hour from villa to town hall for wedding, and then back again, taking up much of the day. Food mediocre too.

I'd go to Florida, and I wouldn't feel bad about it. Stupid woman, expecting people to pay for flights, hotel, car hire etc, take five days or more off work, and then dump their kids.... She is on a different planet.

What Expat wrote.

Dont you Dare let DH take the DCs holiday off them even if they don't know! You have worked hard for it.

If PIL are upset then they can pay for you to go and you can go to Disney after

Five days?? Is she serious? And it sounds like she's having a party in the UK anyway. I'd say tough. It's her day not yours. Family holiday first - if anyone really really objects ask them to pay your plane fares and lodgings from Florida to LV.

Unless you can do a nearly day trip over for the wedding and back - but even that interrupts your lovely family holiday ... sigh .. families ...

Actually there isn't anything wrong with a 5 day celebration as long as she doesn't expect people to attend, and it sounds like she doesn't it's the MIL applying pressure not sil.

If they really want people to attend their wedding, they would have it in a convenient place.

Florida is brilliant for children, LV is a party town for adults.

Go to Florida, your children and you will have a brilliant time.

Yes Bonzo PIL are throwing a massive muggle party for when they all get back.

Stick to Florida. None of the wedding plans are child friendly and the bride is ok with you not going. MIL will just have to get over it.

We are flying into LV in summer with DS but are only planning a night there either end of 3 week trip around California. I think he will enjoy that but anymore would be pushing it.

Obv you could do a Californa holiday from LV but it's much more travel. Florida is much easier.

YANBU to stick to your original plans.

However if your main reason for Floriday was Disney, could you not go to the one in California instead? Just show up in Vegas for the actual wedding? Not sure of distances or extra costs involved, but it sounds like your dd at least might like this?

I'd go to Florida.

SiL got married in Barbados when DD1 was about 8 months old. MiL threw a massive strop because we didn't go, she got over it

Hmm. Thing is, whilst I am firmly in the ?if you choose to marry abroad then don?t get upset if people don?t come? camp, I think there is a complication here. Which is you are going to be in the US at THE SAME TIME as the wedding but are instead are choosing to go elsewhere. Which I could see from the happy couple?s POV could stick in the claw a bit.

As an aside I?ve been to both Florida and Vegas several times and I?d pick Florida with kids any time.

Did SIL forget you have 4 DCs? Of course she and the groom are entitled to have any wedding they choose but it's not really going to work for you. Have a lovely time in Florida.

Go to Florida.

I got married in Vegas and loved it, went with our children but it was our choice. I would hate for someone to force a holiday upon me.

AndBingo - it's not like she's going to be close though, it's like someone from the US complaining that someone in London can't come to their wedding in Greece, because it's in Europe.

OP- have you thought one of the reasons people go abroad for weddings is they don't want a big wedding with lots of people there, if the people were important, then they would have the wedding in the UK.

If it's taken you 2 years to save the money for the Florida trip then you obviously aren't earning the sort of money where they could reasonably expect you to be able to afford to go to Vegas at the drop of a hat - what if you hadn't been saving for a Disney holiday but a new car or a new kitchen, would you be expected to sacrifice them? Or what if you hadn't been saving - would they expect you to go? Did they know you were saving for Florida?

AndBingoWasHisNameOh I think that is PILs problem. The fact we have actively chosen not to go to the wedding.

It sounds unutterably vulgar, and completely unsuitable for children. SIL is excluding your children pretty clearly. So go to Florida with a clear conscience, and have a lovely time.

notso As I've already said I don't think you should be forced to go to Vegas. But if you do end up going there are things for DC to do, and some hotels more child friendly than others.

We looked at internal flights from la to Vegas and they were hundreds so Florida to Vegas might be quite expensive.

Under 21s have to keep moving through the casinos, I imagine it would be very stressful with young ones. It's not a family destination IMHO and I found it expensive for what it was.

My sil paid for family to go to her Vegas wedding as she knew they couldn't afford it otherwise.

Florida with kids sounds amazing! I'd totally do that instead :)

if pil want you to go that badly perhaps they could pay for you all to go?

'Which is you are going to be in the US at THE SAME TIME as the wedding but are instead are choosing to go elsewhere. Which I could see from the happy couple?s POV could stick in the claw a bit.'

It's a loooong flight away, and you probably won't get a direct or non-stop one very cheaply. You're talkin about 4 hours air-time, not including airports on either side, queues, transfers, etc.

Staying there isn't cheap, either, even cheaper hotels downtown, when you have 6 people.

I think you can go to Florida with a clear conscience. Your PILs will get over it.

Spas, gambling, piss-ups. $$$$.

You do your thing, let SIL do hers. Life's too short, and in a lot of cases money's too short to do otherwise.