to think there should be no such thing as a SAHM

[TalkinPeace2]

they might be an ex investment banker
or a part time nurse
or a part time teacher
or an active volunteer in the community
BUT
in these days where most women are educated at least to 18, very few did not work before kids
and very few will not work when their kids are older
so actually should define themselves by their personal achievements - currently undertaking a prolonged break
rather than some sort of domestic - which is what SAHM implies to me.

Op have you disappeared !?

So what do you do op?

I used to be a nanny.... now im a mummy

suits me and thats all I care about really

im proud to be a mummy at home..... just as i was proud to be a nanny looking after my charges 60+ hours a week in their homes

I don't see what's wrong with being a non working parent as a lifestyle choice. It worked perfectly well for centuries! I didn't have children for someone else to bring up.

I work part time but spend more time at home (sometimes working) than at work. I wouldn't call myself a SAHM as my work is a big part of my life, but I do not see anything wrong with it.

At least mist people don't use the term 'housewife' anymore.

I must be incredibly old fashioned! I'd happily be a housewife! I'd love to be home and have the tea ready and have all the little ones clean and ready for bed when DP gets home. If that's what I choose, why is that bad?

I think SAHP identifies you are looking after children. My DH can look after himself, and not everyone is married, so housewife seems inappropriate.

I am university educated and have a career and would love to be a sahm.

so you are not on the PTA, or a school Governor, or volunteer for a charity?
even once your youngest is at secondary
do you not feel your brain is going to mush?

The only totally non working mums I know with older kids have SERIOUS gym habits or do lots of voluntary and community work

the rest of us work part time, either self employed or sundry jobs to keep skills current for when the kids hit 6th form.
I was back doing tax returns and marking exams before DC2 was 24 hours old (and back at the gym as soon as I'd had my 6 week checkup)

Good for you

Talkin

Your brain might go to mush, others differ.

I personally have never been to the gym. If anything drove me back to work is was the expectation that one had to go to the gym. Eeeeeew

I was doing the school run before dc3 was 24 hours (being a SAHM and all).
Can I have a medal?

Well whoopde do for you! Personally, I spent at least the first week or two enjoying my Dcs, and not worrying about flipping tax returns! I work part time now, read a lot, and have lots of interests. I'm an outdoors person, a market trader, a horse person. My brain has plenty to do. It doesn't need to be finely honed and it isn't mush!

haha Tunip

quite right

Jamie
I'm lucky - I was able to go self employed after having kids and have gradually built my hours up as they have got older

TalkinPeace2 , have you met Xenia?!
I think you would like her!
Actually she might not like you as she had a whole 2 weeks off for materity leave!

I actually find it interesting that you work from home like she does.
Not sure yet why that is relevant,but I feel like it is.

fwiw, I was a SAHM,and about 6 other things besides. I used to put different things on different forms, depending on how official they were, and what mood I was in on that particular day.

Can I ask why it bothers you about SAHMs?

And yes I did years and years of PTA,school Governor and charity work.
But so what,as in each person is different.

Do you judge those people then
Do you know if they have disabilities that you cant see, are carers etc.
I always believe in knowing a full picture before I start making any assumptions about people.

SAHM is a dreary acroynym. It should be banned. Does any body in real life say "I'm a stay at home mum"?

I didn't work before kids, what should I describe myself as?

Hi I'm Indith, an ex student.

Makes me sound like desperate, recent dropout .

I'm a sahm, what's wrong with that?

sparkly DS was born just before a deadline and its how I pay my bills - it was not my return
sounds like you have a good balance of busy and flexible

Actually isn't this a bit ironic as staying at home with the children was a replacement for the politically incorrect "housewife" word. So now this is politically incorrect too. O tempora o mores. I can't keep up.

I like 'housewife'. It's nice and historical.

talkinginPeace2
I was back doing tax returns and marking exams before DC2 was 24 hours old
What do you want ? A medal?

I think my brain is less mushy now that I don't work. I have time to read, attend lectures, visit museums and exhibitions. I can, and do, go to the theatre in the afternoon. I also walk, bike and play a lot of sports.

I loved working too. I enjoyed the challenges and I got a lot of satisfaction from what I did. Stopping working hasn't changed me or made me dull or more stupid. I am still the same person and I don't feel I needto prove anything to anyone.

Exactly - what do you want?

Strikes me as highly insecure to feel the need to justify yourself and criticise others in the process.