...not to want dh to wander around half-naked?

[cavell]

Particularly when, by "half naked" I am referring to the bottom half?
Dh likes to wander around wearing just a t-shirt/shirt and no pants such that his "bits" are left dangling. Sometimes he even has socks on, too.
AIBU to find this borderline revolting? It reminds me of a potty-training toddler, tbh.
Background: together 20 years, married 15, two dds aged 11 and 7. DH's body is okay, albeit a bit skinny. He knows I don't like to see him walking around in his state of undress, but he thinks I am becoming prudish and that he should be able to relax in his own home and not worry about what he is wearing... Should add also that my libido is very low at the moment and seeing his undercarriage peeking out from the bottom of a t-shirt isn't helping at all.
AIBU?

WAY too many myselfs in there!

Something just struck me cavell - a little bit of hypocrisy on your husband's part.

On the one hand, he argues against you with the "most men do this". But, when you "Asked him to have a look at this thread, but he wasn't having that because he doesn't care what a bunch of random strangers think about him." - he's effectively telling you that you're not allowed to use the "most people" argument that he uses.

So either random strangers ("most men" as well as MN) count, or they don't. If he doesn't want to hear the consensus that disagrees with him, then he's not allowed to deploy a (wholly imaginary) consensus to justify himself either.

Head it doesn't have to be proven that is his intent. That is the outcome.

But some posts respond as if op's DH deliberately wants them to see his penis. As opposed to him 'just not wearing pants'. Obviously the distinction is important.

Outcome is the issue here.

The daughters are being forced to look at his genitals.

OP asserts he "doesn't mean it"

It means fuck-all

Not really, headinhands- what about if a colleague gave me a "playful" smack on the arse? What's important here, the fact he meant no harm, or that I experienced it as humiliating and an assault?

I expect there are lots of other examples where there is a damaging outcome even though there was no "intent"

Shall we start to list them ? It wouldn't make very comfortable reading.

So if he doesn't want to wear pants he shoves a dressing gown on, surely?
So yes, he wants them to see his penis.

Eww, haven't read whole thread, but eww.

I thought from title, it was going to be just top off, but bottoms off, just no.

Just to clarify, when you say him not wearing pants is akin to a 'playful' smack on the arse, what particular aspect are you refering to? The fact that OP and kids complained or the actual visibility.

OP how long have you been asking him to wear pants for? You said before how he gets undressed in an unusual order. How long has he been doing that for?

"well-exposed young men use the occasion to catch the eye of a prospective bride."

you are using this, a tradition designed specifically to show your sexual prowess to attract a sexual partner, to justify why a man who lives in a clothes wearing culture should be able to show his penis (whilst covering all other parts of his body) to his children? really?

headinhands he is wandering about the house with his penis hanging out because he is more comfortable like that he is showing everybody in his house his willy and arse , there is nothing to explain really they dont like it , his girls are uncomfortable he doesnt need to show his family his penis

I was using the other culture's nudity norms in response to a mention of British attitudes not op's situation. I already conceded that the issue of public nudity is very different and not helpful when talking of the different levels of nudity in ones own home.

Again, the crux is that op and kids are uncomfortable now about it. Was he being abusive before the op and dc's became abusive?

Sorry, before the op and dc's became uncomfortable.

I would be very surprised if this was the only area that OP's H asserted his male superiority over his captive family

Got to page 9 so haven't read all posts, but I have to say I would be moving out with my children if he continued to do this. I would also tell family and friends exactly why I was doing so, when they ask. Your husband is a dirty abusive twat, there is nothing funny or ok with this behaviour in a shared household with young girls, I'm quite angry actually.

Anyf*cker

You are taking the proverbial, right?

hasn't she left him yet?

what's he going to do when 'display' isn't enough for him?

wrong

"Wrong"

You mean Viz's Millie Tant really is your idol? Oh very dear..

But some posts respond as if op's DH deliberately wants them to see his penis. As opposed to him 'just not wearing pants'. Obviously the distinction is important.

There is absolutely no distinction if the end result of 'not wearing pants' is inflicting the sight of your genitalia on your unwilling young daughters and your wife.

Sorry but this would be a deal breaker for me.
If he wants to be naked and comfy, he should wear a dressing gown

fourth got any more useful comments about me ?

I have to say that I also see this as a dominance thing. He has found something which annoys the OP but that he can claim is allegedly comfortable and so 'justifies' himself.

It could probably have been anything but this was the thing which sprang to his mind which makes it weird.

OP has described him as undemonstrative with his DDs. Over this I suspect that he is oblivious to his DDs' feelings. This is all about winding up OP.

Personally I would be making his little habit as uncomfortable as possible. A few suggestions which spring to mind:

• a nice cold bag of ice left on his chair (and whipped away as he comes down the stairs)
• arrange for various things to be delivered and make him go to the door
• ostentatiously clean his chair with bleach just before he sits down
• spray his chair with deep heat (this was DH's suggestion!)
• arrange for a few early visitors and make sure you invite them into the kitchen