...not to want dh to wander around half-naked?

[cavell]

Particularly when, by "half naked" I am referring to the bottom half?
Dh likes to wander around wearing just a t-shirt/shirt and no pants such that his "bits" are left dangling. Sometimes he even has socks on, too.
AIBU to find this borderline revolting? It reminds me of a potty-training toddler, tbh.
Background: together 20 years, married 15, two dds aged 11 and 7. DH's body is okay, albeit a bit skinny. He knows I don't like to see him walking around in his state of undress, but he thinks I am becoming prudish and that he should be able to relax in his own home and not worry about what he is wearing... Should add also that my libido is very low at the moment and seeing his undercarriage peeking out from the bottom of a t-shirt isn't helping at all.
AIBU?

Its xompletely disgusting imo. Rminds me of when del boy went to the doctors in only fools and horses and the doctor said "strip to the waist ........... The waist UP mr trotter"

I hope you manage to get through to him soon. A freidn of mines dp smokes in the house and his son has asthma. He wont stop smoking as he feels entitled to as it is his house, regardless of the health issues of his son. The father is a complete twat and its totally unfair on his son. Slightly off piste but similar principles etc etc

you are waiting for an "opportune moment" ?

why ?

This thread is full of deliciously British attitudes to nudity. Reminds me of the many times I have seen Brits beating a hasty retreat from saunas in Scandi/Germany etc when they realise what those signs saying "textile free" actually mean (and these places have family days too!). Having said that, one always sits on a towel in those places and naked bums on seats are not de rigeur for reasons of hygiene.

HOWEVER, having said that, this is Britain and as attitudes to nudity here are generally that it is not a good thing about the house, it does seem a selfish thing to do in front of your DDs. Unless he was brought up in a house where his parents were regularly partially clothed and just can't see the problem?

Also, as you say, you find it disrespectful and it makes you angry so of course that would lower your attraction towards him as it is hard to want to have sex with someone we feel angry with.

kennyp

this has nothing to do with 'British attitudes to nudity'

My husband does the t-shirt/floppy winkle thing. I find it deeply awful. There's a mad scramble for clothes if the doorbell goes, let me tell you.

YANBU.

I could cope with pants and no top but seeing the saveloy and plums on parade constantly is horrid.

Yes, I've told him. He doesn't care

it was eurostar who mentioned british attitudes to nudity.

Funt it was only Sainsburys own cheapy vodka, it's not like he used the good gin. I would have been most if he'd used that.

Yes, milk works but we've run out. So he did a google search and found the alcohol suggestion. It seems to have worked. At least, there wasn't any agonised screaming when he went for a pee.

Have you had 'the talk' OP?

sorry booy yes i know that; i was at kennyp's friend that smokes in the house with asthmatic child!

should have prefixed my next comment with eurostars name

ah right. sorry. i thought it was at the attitudes comment. i see now what you actually meant.

How bizarre!

Have to say we are relaxed about nudity in our house and the children see us naked and its not an issue, my ds1 (13) will see me going ftom bathroom to.bedroom naked or come in and chat to me when i am in the bath etc. I have to moisturise thoroughly (eczema) then wrap a towel.round me whilst i get bfast, get little ones ready and it sometimes falls open/off. I just tuck it back around me.

My children arent bothered and we are just taking our lead ftom.them and them from us i guesd.

But if your children are uncomfortable with it you stop/chat with them.

Its the top half dressed thats odd!

I sometimes am half dressed but jeans etc on and boobs uncovered and the kids see that and its a non issue. But if kids are not happy you need to.make it clear to your dh.

But OP said he comes down to breakfast with shirt, tie, socks but his wang hanging out... that he will go to the toilet with his pants on and then exit with them off and not put them back on again!

How can that be compared to going to a european style sauna or a quick hallway dash after a bath. Even talking to someone in the bath is not the same. If you're gonna be naked, fine be naked all over, seems like the man has an obsession with exhibiting his penis at any opportunity.

Exactly butter, he just wants his willy to be shown how creepy sorry it is, it's not like he s walking around nekkid all over

It's like a control thing, the more op registers disagreement he goes into a sulk without even considering the feeling of his family

Given the nature of what he is using as a means of throwing his weight around I suspect he has a chip on his shoulder against women, girls, females in general. It is a very hostile thing to do (in the misogynistic sense).

'Exhibitionism, which involves exposing one's genitals or sexual organs to a stranger, falls under the psychiatric sexual disorders category of paraphilias, "abnormal or unnatural attraction" or obsession with unusual sexual practices or with sexual activity involving nonconsenting or inappropriate partners.'
From psychologytoday.com

It is the 'non-consenting or inappropriate partners' bit that should have you extremely worried Cavell. As well as the 'psychiatric sexual disorders bit. This is a sexual issue as well as being a power and control one. To expose your DDs to the potent mix of sex and control is to fail to protect them.

You need to tackle this. Take courage, and do not bury your head in the sand. Do not wait for the right moment. There will never be one. You need to develop the hide of a Sherman tank and make this your number one priority.

It is extremely important that this man stops what he is doing.

Yes l agree with you mathanxiety. Also as has already been said it's the bizarre top half dressing that gives it away as something to be concerned about in the way you describe.

If he was just a bit of a hippy/nudist and walked round bollocko all the time in the home that would be up to you and your DDs whether or not, or up to what age your DDs were comfortable with it and able to just brush it off as 'oh that's just mi dad' ignore him. As someone said upthread a decent nudist (contradiction in terms ? ) would take the lead from the other members of the household and cover up as soon as one becomes uncomfortable with it.
But he is obviously not doing it for nudity/liberation reasons or wouldnt do half and half. So there has to be a reason and l too would be very concerned.

There is something deeply, deeply unalluring and undignified about nudity sometimes, right?!

Naked does most definitely not necessarily = sexy.

And I say this as someone who has no shame, who walks around naked a lot of the time, and who rarely bothers with curtains when changing. For all I know, the neighbours regularly get an eyeful.

However bottom-half-naked teabagging is grim. Just grim. I would be irreversibly turn off by such a ludicrous, antithesis-of-sexy sight. Have you tried telling him that every time he does it, a little bit more of you is repelled by him, and that it's now building up to monumental levels?

I agree that this sends out an absolutely terrible message to your daughters. :( And the fact that you're all dancing around his sulks is just painting a depressing as hell picture.

As an aside, I'm loving the naturists on the thread rushing to defend nudity even when it's ridiculous and snigger-worthy. Get a grip. It's just nudity. You don't have to lay down and worship at the alter of it, just because. Issues...? Methinks you doth protest too much.

YANBU!!!

That is grim, I wouldn't be happy with DH doing that at all.

It is not normal to put a shirt and tie on but no pants. It is grim.

Op, how are you today !

You really should have spoken to him when he was acting like a grown up and had clothes on. Trying when he has his dick out is just going to make him more stubborn as he won't then put clothes on. He is a complete bully, arse, prick and dickhead. Your poor children. Both parents letting them down.

This reminds me if an episode of Sex and The City!

Look, it is absolutely vile that he does it in front of his daughters. Definitely not ok.

But walking around with just a tshirt and socks in front of OP? Meh. My dh does it and I find it cute. I think he has tight butt cheeks and I like seeing them, and I like his wille too. He wears a tshirt/sweatshirt and socks otherwise he will catch a cold. Nothing about sexual control, ffs.

However, I think that if OP finds it offensive even if he does it just in their bedroom, he should clothe up.

Ok... managed to have a word with dh last night once he had finished watching Homeland.
Asked him to have a look at this thread, but he wasn't having that because he doesn't care what a bunch of random strangers think about him.
He thinks I am making a big deal about nothing: "Most men don't give a sh*t about being naked, or what order that get undressed. It's not as if I'm waving it around in front of you - it's just how I feel comfortable".
Final upshot: "if it bothers you that much, I'll wear some bloody pants. Still, don't see why I can't wear want to I want in my own home."
A bit huffy, but not too bad. We'll see what happens.

He's trying to blame you for feeling uncomfortable. And presumably that attitude is extended to his daughters too.

He clearly doesn't give a toss about you. Does he feel the same about his daughters?

"Once he had finished watching Homeland"

What he says really does go in your house, doesn't it ?