to give my parents soup when they come to see me?

[twinsufficient]

This happened a year ago but is still bugging me that supposedly I was in the wrong. My parents came over for the day (3 hour round trip) and for lunch I served some nice fresh (bought) soup with plenty of crusty bread and cheesecake for afters. Following the visit my dm was very distant with me for 4 months. She wouldn't ring me, declined invites to visit and was plain nasty to me on my birthday. Despite this dh and I took dm out for her birthday, bought a cake etc.
Then a week later she phones me to tell me how disgusting it was of me to only give them soup 4 months ago! I told her to get a life and put the phone down. She eventually caved in and rang me but not to apologise just to justify her points! She drives me potty most of the time but was ibu? Please reassure me that I'm not the meanie she's making me out to be

Soup and crusty bread is fine to serve for a lunch.

Anyway, even if you thought that was really bad hosting it's not worth being cross for more than about 5 mins.

I don't get all these people saying soup is easy to make. Fresh carton soup of a decent brand is absolutely guaranteed to be a whole lot nicer than anything I could make, if I took a week over it. (For that matter, Heinz Tomato is probably nicer than anything I could etc...)

As a guest m'self I wouldn't really notice whether someone had spent hours slaving over a hot stove to make soup or opened a can, unless they served it in the can, which would be a little naff even by our standards. I'd be grateful though, and probably hog a lot more than my fair share of the bread, even if you hadn't baked it yourself. (Wondering, do the fanatical stove-slavers grind their own corn as well, or is shop-bought flour permissible?)

Soup is very easy to make.

Not for people who can't make it, it isn't.

How can you not make soup?

It needs Stock fresh or boullion. Vegetables and/or meat. A sieve or a liquidiser.

2 pints vege stock (Marigold), 1lb carrots, few parsnips, bunch coriander, salt, pepper, pinch of turmeric. Bung in liquidiser, smidgeon of creme fraiche in a swirl and sprig of coriander.

2 pints same stock, 2 finely chopped shallots, 1lb mushrooms, salt, pepper, scraping of nutmeg, small carton of cream, glass of sherry or madeira - bung in liquidiser, swirl cream on top.

2 pints stock, 3 spuds, bag of watercress, two chopped leeks, bit of cream, watercress leaves on top, salt - not too much pepper, liquidiser.

It is quick, it is easy, it is wholesome and nourishing and good for you and it is a zillion times better than anything from a carton or tin. Lots of variations.

It's a Saturday or weekday family lunch though. I would eat it for supper but my family don't think it's a proper meal - it's a light lunch or a starter here generally.

Anniegetyourgun honestly it really is!

Tinned soup tastes nasty. Posh carton soup is ok.

Soup (shop bought or homemade) might not be seen as a full on meal in itself, but when it's accompanied with plenty of bread and a cheesecake for afters would any of us really be gagging for more? I'd rather my relative looked forward to us coming and seeing each other than stressing over what gastronomic delights to serve up after our strenuous 90 minute car ride.

It seems your mother sees the soup as a really shit symbol of your relationship. Leave her to it. There's a very apt NI saying which you should adopt- "let her stew in the juice she cooked in".

If you get home & find that the ingredients have not magically bought themselves, or indeed peeled & diced themselves, then a quicker option is to screech to a halt at a BP, fill up & at the same time buy some tubs of soup. And lie.

You could make this a more substantial meal by offering 'destiny' sandwiches. Today we particularly enjoyed the salmon medley. Best before 2/11.

If you don't think it is easy go on the BBC Good Food website - put 'soup' in search and over 200 hundred recipes will come up- pick one that says easy.
It is easy for anyone - if they actually want to do it.

Easy: yes. As quick as popping to Covent Garden? No.

It is easier if you live where I live- I could make it in the time it took me to get to the shop, is much nicer and lots cheaper. You only need some vegetables which I always have.

If your DC is over about 8yrs them the recipe and let them get on with it! I expect they would enjoy it.

Fucking hell, YANBU

We regularly travel 1.5 hrs to see the inlaws and soup and bread would be a perfectly acceptable lunch to me!

Bloody hell YANBU. I love soup and could probably eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner everyday.

Can't make the bloody stuff though. Never tastes nice.

I agree with a poster upthread that Heinz tomato soup is great. And I had an amazing beetroot soup from one of the 'fresh' soup manufacturers.

Other than that, IMO, homemade soup is far better than the alternatives.

Also don't get this reference to crusty bread, as something desirable. Fresh bread, yes. We buy our baguettes every day. But crusty? It usually means a couple of days old bread that needs to be fed to the chicken...

My grandparents always used to offer soup etc to those arriving at theirs (nearest relation on our side is hours away and that's on a plane) on the grounds that travellers need something not too heavy in case they are feeling queasy/groggy from their journey. It would be lovingly home made though.

On that basis, YWNBU to serve soup, although now you know to serve her Substantial Home Made Dinner next time she comes. Just in case, like.

As for a grown woman sulking and bitching for months over her lunch ... Words fail me.

What WhoNickedMyName said

Your mum sulked for 4 months over soup, and now 8 months on you're still brooding over her sulking and wanting to know who's right and who's wrong?

Can I suggest that you both just get the fuck over it.

this is a fucking nutshell

Sheesh.

and fwiw soup is quite often dinner here, once a week or more. At mealtimes surely the important thing is to consume some kind of (hopefully filling and enjoyable) food. Though a single boiled egg and a celery (wtf?) is unlikely to fulfill that criteria.

Quite right Gobblers! If you have a mother like that you just have to ignore and don't even bother discussing. If she brings it up say you really can't remember but it seems trivial- if she is that fussed you will remember not to serve it again.

I agree with Marriedinwhite. Your Mum sounds difficult but they had come a long distance. I would have served a more substantial meal- she obviously wanted the lunch to feel 'special'

Tufty - my nan asks my vegetarian BiL if he wants a ham sandwich every time she sees him. She remembers that he is veggie, but seems to forget that ham is meat

If I had made a 3 hour trip I would not expect shop brought soup. Also you sound like you have no respect for your elders after the way you spoke to your MIL.

Soup is fine. It's what my parents got when they came three hours to visit, and both mine and dp's friends!

Laughing at all the lunch snobs here. Soup is lunch, with some nice bread and a tasty desert. Who has the appetite for anything more at lunch time anyway. My soup, however, is fecking rotten for some reason, even though I can cook and bake just about everything else relatively easy. So if you came to my house you'd be over the bloody moon if I'd bought the soup (if you had tasted any of my previous efforts).

Anyway, someone who is more interested in the food you serve for lunch than your company isn't worth having over again, even if, no actually especially if they're family.

In a nutshell, YANBU. :)

The MIL was probably cross at the lack of effort more than being offered soup

Dinky, why should you have respect for someone who is so disgustingly rude to you? Just because they happen to be older? And it's her mum btw who she served the shop bought soup to.