over feeling uneasy that a 38 year old woman is a GM for the third timr

[SoleSource]

because her DD has had a third child?

(parent at DS school)

I am 38...one child aged 14.

Is my attitude a bit old fashioned? Is this becoming the norm?

Sole ignore the haterz love.

Oh and people do love to judge a teenage mother, even now when I am a 30 something professional I can get judged for having been a teenage mother years ago. Some people live in a cunty bubble and, yes, I have a massive chop on my shoulder about it.

Not especially jenai i am not saying its ideal, just nothing to be "uneasy" about and the trouble with 18 year olds though is they tend to go their own way and I would try to look in the bright side and see my grandchild as an enhancement not a limit.

Chop? Lamb chop or pork chop?

I think I was prejudice when I was younger, but now just vain.

It is fuck all to do with me. I am sad tbat I had an abortion when I was 21 as I felt too young. I do feel God has paid ne back by isolating me and giving me a child I have to care for forever. Changing oads, spon feeding. I an jealous and cannot u.derstand why I am so hated for me being me when ktbets have fucking healthy children.

I must be a vile petson.

Oh hang on - so now we may no longer disagree with an OP or point out that some of the people on the thread appear to be using dishcloths for brains That should have been made clear somewhere in the thread because I did, in fact, read it all and I didn't notice that. How foolish of me. Must be because I had a baby at 21 and it's rotted my brain.

Some people live in a cunty bubble and, yes, I have a massive chop on my shoulder about it.

dunno what I @ more cunty bubbles or your chop I do agree with you I do like a typo though

Sole, are you getting support and help with your ds?

I get some. It has been a long few weeks as respute was cancelled at half term.

I'm ok now thebody. Just needed to vent. X

No,my parents lived abroad when I had DS1, so I just had to be organised, I was self employed, and kept that going so as to fund university,

I don't judge older mothers I am one,

I just hate this generalisation that having babies in teens or early twenties is a bad thing,

I hate watching friends go through hell when they are franticly trying to conceive, or hang on to pregnancies, regretting that they feel they have left it too late, or earlier pressurised choices.

How many people when pressurising a teen into abortion, think that might be her only chance at motherhood,

I had DS1, then the two I have now are 13th 14th, amazing they are here, if I hadn't had DS1, I would of given up, believing that what the doctors said was true, I was not able to have a baby, trisomie 13,stillborn, late miscarriages, baby death, over a decade of back to back pregnancies, for DS1 to get his much longed for siblings.

stop pronouncing judgements on other people choices, no one knows what the future holds for anyone.

My niece had a baby at just 19. She hadn't been left school a year, she had a job, which wasn't her ideal job, so she could save some money to go to Uni to become a nurse.

She is a good mum, but she still lives with my sister, she has gone back to work part time, she feels like she is missing out when her friends are out on a Friday and Saturday night and she can't go because her baby has to come first. Her friends went on holiday this Summer, she had to stay at home.

She has said that although she wouldn't change her baby for the world, she wishes she had been more careful. The father isn't on the scene, so doing everything he was before hand, meanwhile her life is on hold for now.

My teens are almost 18 and 16 and I would be very sad and upset if they became fathers this young. I want them to have all their fun and finish university or training before they become parents. I know live isn't always how you would like it to be, but in a ideal world, that is what I want for them.

RIGHT

(bear in mind please that I'm on a VERY slow connection)

The abortion you had at 21. It was absolutely the right decision. I know that because I had one too (at 25) and although every now and then I get wistful I know FULL WELL that I wouldn't have had the strength to go through with it had it not been the right thing to do (I hope that makes sense).

Just worked out that my sister in law is 39 and a grandmother to 3, at 40 she will be a grandmother to 4

I wouldnt feel uneasy about it, i would feel sad for the 19 year old as she will have had no teen years, no uni education likely and the chances of the relationship lastng i would imagine are very slim.

Thankfully DS cant make me a granny that early but i would be disappointed if he became a dad before 25. I want him to live a little, find a job he likes and be in a long term relationship before making such a huge commitment both financially and emotionally.

Sorry, post before I read the whole thread, seems it has moved on.

It's her choice. I wouldn't want it for my dcs though. I would rather they spent their youth exploring, getting educated and enjoying THEIR life. When you have a child your needs come second. There is time to do that later in life.

It not like the women had a choice to be a nanny of 3 at that age, you cannot control other people family planning lol

Very true McHappy lol!

The gran didn't have a choice but her dc did.

I'm 38. I had my DD at 16. She's my only child (unable to conceive since. Whole other thread) and now i'm a GM to two gorgeous girls. I would be without my 3 little miracles.

YABVU. There's no reason why this should make you feel uneasy.

Obviously I meant I wouldn't, not I would

I was about to give you a lecture on being judgey but your other posts seem to indicate you could do with wine more than anything else .

You are not a vile person, you are having a rough time right now.

You had a termination because it was the right thing for you to do then. Please don't be hard on yourself because of that.

I'm 40 and all my friends are only JUST having DC now...I was the first at 31!