over feeling uneasy that a 38 year old woman is a GM for the third timr

[SoleSource]

because her DD has had a third child?

(parent at DS school)

I am 38...one child aged 14.

Is my attitude a bit old fashioned? Is this becoming the norm?

How old was she when she became a grandmother? I assume her son/daughter must have been 15-ish if her 3rd child is 19 (assuming one child has produced all three GCs)?

There's no point in feeling uncomfortable, but it is sad when people have children before they've become adults themselves.

I did have a so called friend in her twenties who commented on my age a lot in a negative way.

But cheeky why should you be glad for me or sad for me? Or anyone else? If the child isnt coming out of your fanjo and the family aren't asking you to Support them, why is it acceptable to judge?

"I just think it suggests that the family are generally lacking in education and probably not interested in careers "

what an odd thing to say. are you suggesting education and careers are only available aged between 16 and 23?

Hi secret :) it's not so bad here in some parts it can be a magical place apparently hehe. Cadbury World is a stobes tbriw from me :) It is good.

Read the thread Jenai, you arse

Plenty of super teenage parents, but I doubt many of us would be too thrilled if our 15yo came home and announced that they were having a baby.

jenai whilst it may not seem Ideal to you why is it sad? Plenty of people have done things that way round and not suffered as a result

but you are only 38 hardly ancient get new friends why do you think 38 is old ? it realy isn't

X posts, that at least is fair comment, but id point out that it isnt necessarily up
To a parent to support the child if they felt that strongly against.. Its just that most of us couldnt/ wouldnt do that.

Ohh sole on the doorstep of temptation

I shall MrsJay. I am very damaged :( but optimistic these days after tberapy but scared.

Hehe I know Secret! In the Summer tbete used to be a waft of chocolate in tbe air here until that part of tbe manufacturing went to a different part of the country. Cadbury's chocolate on the breeze.

Blimey that sounds delish, I wonder if a waft can be fattening?!

I think it is a bit daft to feel uneasy.

But still. Having 3 kids by 19 isn't probably the best laid plan in the world is it. I think it is pretty sad (not in a perjorative sense) when young teens have so little confidence or choices that they think having a baby is the best idea. And the fact is teenage parents will get judged, by health workers and other parents, for years. I would feel that I had failed as aparent if dd wanted to have a baby now. Its a very hard path to take.

boohoo it's not Odd at all. The majority of people who have three children in their teens do not attend higher education or have a high flying career. Obviously some do but I would assume that they had decided that a family based path rather than uni was for them.

everybody gets scared it really doesn't matter what others think of you they really are not that important even friends can be nasty or a bit judgemental but their opinion means nothing, try and live your life the way you want it, have you started back college yet ? last course I did there was a bunch of young guys in their 20s and they seemed to be obsessed with boobs and girls I did feel like their mum telling them off but it was a good laugh and you are there to learn the people around you are nice to chat too but you can leave them as you close your front door

My mums 38 and it would be perfectly reasonable for her to have a grandchild as I'm 21. So YABU

Cadbury world is ace, even better now I have a child as don't just look like a greedy hog

Secret, I just think it would be a shame to, for example, not be able to go to university because you have to work to support your family. I know people do it, but it must be massively more difficult and your options are going to be limited. You'd be unlikely for example to be able to go abroad to take up a placement.

I guess we all measure by our own experiences to some extent. I am 37 and my DTDs are 6. I teach secondary and was slightly freaked out when my yr 11s were talking about their mums last week before parents' evening and it turns out several of them are 37. I'm not judging, I just can't imagine myself with a 16 year old ATM- 6 year olds are enough! DH and I are out this evening and the girl who babysits is 19. Her mum is younger than me. Again, I get slightly freaked out by that.

I don't get why you are uneasy about it? What, really does it have to do with you. I might notice this and have a little think about it as, I suppose it is quite unusual, but uneasy?

I used to work on a maternity ward in an army hospital years ago, lots and lots of young parents there, Mums of 16 and 17, already married because we were out in Germany and it was the only way to be with their OH's ie get married asap to get a quarter. It wouldn't be terribly unusual for someone in their late teens to have at least two possibly three children by then.

It is fattening Secret. It tells one to go and buy copious amounts of Cadbury's chocolate and scoff. The smell was really very strong.

You are right Gohostship. It is having a disabled child as my only child I feel I have not moved on from being 24 as my DS has not. Feel stuck and a life of doing the same routine in ways I feel as if I have nit aged and now realised that people may assiciate 38 with a Granny!

"Obviously some do but I would assume that they had decided that a family based path rather than uni was for them. "

you do realise that if you have your last child at 19 you will only be 37 when they leave school and are officially an adult. 37 is a bit young to be writing anybody off educationally or careerwise. pension age in uk is 65 (it still is isn't it?) that's almost 30 years were that person is no longer raising children and can get as much education as they like and choose to enter whatever career path they wish. the family based path may have been what they chose and followed for a certain period but that doesn't mean they can't become so much else. nothing is permanent.

But aka, would you want your 19yo daughter to have had three children and be living in married quarters? Wouldn't you ever think "But you were going to be an engineer/a doctor/ a model?" at least a tiny bit?

I feeling very broody of late too. I am trying to avoid watching back to back programmes of One Born Every Minute on tbe Really channel too.

Ah I get what you mean SoleSource. :)