over feeling uneasy that a 38 year old woman is a GM for the third timr

[SoleSource]

because her DD has had a third child?

(parent at DS school)

I am 38...one child aged 14.

Is my attitude a bit old fashioned? Is this becoming the norm?

Secret

YABU no need to feel uneasy, it's not a crime.

cheeky wouldnt you think thats the monority not the majority?! OP has just clarified that this wasn't intended as a young parents bashing thread so maybe save such stories for DM? As they dont sound very believable...

we went to a 40th party where the bloke had just been made a grandad on his 40th birthday.

i said to DH , does it bother you that he's 40 and a grandad yet you are 40 and not yet a dad, and he said no not really,

we got lucky when i was 34 and he was 44.

Yes I was BU just a fleeting thpught I had and as I am not one to feel I am always right about thibfs I asked tbe question.

Each to tbeir own and yeah was about my age as I have not had any.opportunity to do much with my life as I have a disabled DS. Envisaged me being sniggered at in college because I.m a Granny.

I think having three children at the age of nineteen is a bit sad, actually.

I love the fact that my mother is young and can still whizz around with the children. She lives nearby and is a great help whereas mil was late having dh (he is her third child) and her health isn't so good now. She is still a lovely granny but couldn't cope with taking two raucous boys on a day out for example so misses out on some of the fun stuff. It's not all bad news Sole! And I'm sure you don't look like a granny.

Yes it is.

My net allowance is very low and won't be getting more until Sunday evening so if I am not here to face more flaming it is because of that.

I always feel sad when I hear about women/girls having babies under 20 -they are going to miss out on so much.

BUT....not everyone wants the same things and to some girls it's all about having a baby as soon as they leave school.

I don't think people think of people as grandparents or not outside in the real world you only know because of school but in a college setting or work nobody really ponders unless we say oh our children are this age, Do i make sense I am not sure i do

Sole no one flamed you, just disagreed. You've been very gracious about it. TBH I doubt very much anyone would snigger at you, most people would think of any mature student in a positive way. I would anyway!

To the poster who said 3 children at 19 is quite sad- why? Because that wouldn't be your choice? Id say it could be challenging (but parenting 3 DCs at any time would be!) but if the parent in question is happy with the situation then I can see several positives!

I work in housing for the local council and have to admit I do feel sorry for some of the young mothers I encounter. I feel a few just don't realise what they are getting into when they fall pregnant very young. They sacrifice so much. But then again lots cope admirably, probably better than you or I have.

"I guess because I do not want people to think I am a Granny at 38! "

what? just...what? why on earth would people think you were a granny at 38 just because another woman somewhere else is? i do not get that at all.

Maybe not the norm where you live but is sadly very true.
Not everyone lives in a magical kingdom.

cheeky magical kingdom? Really? How patronising! There are young parents here (south), I just very much doubt you'd
Find many naive enough to be having a second whilst at school "for council points", in fact its rather impressive that they have returned to mainstream education after having one child before 16 isn't it?

Nancy, my cousin had her 4 children by the time she was 22. I had my DS at 34.

She and her DH have their mortars paid off and their DCs raised and are having a whale of a time with their disposable income and freedom. I have no disposable income and little time of my own.

Neither of us "missed out". We just chose different lives.

That should read mortgage, not mortars.

none of your business. uneasy? why?

Noddy sole did explain why she felt uneasy, in the body of the thread,

I was joking abiut flamibg :)
Birmibgham is a magical kingdom

I should get out more.

I just think it suggests that the family are generally lacking in education and probably not interested in careers but that is up to them. As long as they are supporting themselves then it's not really anyone's business. My cousin had three children by 22 and is a gran of two at 45 and the whole family are very productive members of society.

It's none of your business.

it may be sad for some women to have their children when they are very young but for others it isn't. some of the young mothers i know ( i was one too) are fantastic parents and have no regrets about having their babies when they did, in much the same way as you wouldn't expect a woman who had her first baby at 30 to have regrets. it's just different choices. for some people it is teh right choice to have their children while young and for some it is the right choice to have their children when they are older. Uni and travelling and clubbing/partying and careers aren't the only life path that is right. different strokes for different folks. and i think it's quite patronising to be feeling sad on behalf of people you dont know who may be so much happier than you are due to the choices they made. fair enough if you know someone isn't happy tehn feel sad for them but not everybody needs you to feel sad for them. they made teh right choices for them.

Well I am glad it is better where you live but it doesn't make it any less true. They do go back to school, I hope it is because they want to and not just because its the law.

sole good ive never been to
Birmy, keep threatening to take myself off to crufts, although i can see cadbury world being a distraction ha!