To not get why a vaginal birth is so important to some people?

[Liketochat1]

Some mothers talk of the trauma and disappointment of not giving birth vaginally. Some say they don't feel like a proper woman or that their body failed them. For many this sounds very traumatic, for others moaning.
AIBU to not 'get' why this is so important to them? I've had 2 c sections and was only intensely grateful that I live in a country and in an age where there are gifted surgeons and resources available to perform these life saving operations. In other parts of the world women are dying in childbirth as they don't have access to these.
Am I so unreasonable to think this?

I am not sure this thread really shows how most vaginal births are. I don't think they are as bad as portrayed on the whole and on average. I am not suggesting they are a bundle of fun but at least you haven't had your stomach cut open . Also you tend to recover faster is you are lucky enough to have vaginal birth and it is what we are made for so for many women it goes fine.

Lots of things happen during vaginal delivery which can benefit the baby which we have only just started to learn about. If you can manage a vaginal birth then I think that's best. Obviously I am delighted C sections are available for those who need them. They save lives but I don't think we should glamorise them as some kind of wonderful lifestyle choice.

V- birth isn't ( usually ) as traumatic as c-section birth . Even with forceps and episiotomy and stitches . A c-section is a major operation FFs .

If you've had one then you should be commended and applauded for surviving the first few weeks coping with a newborn and recovering from a major operation .

With all ops , you get shock ...which probably voices itself as that horrible feeling of " failure" ,that some women get with them. No one who survives any operation can say they have failed . Quite the opposite , if you think about it .

Celebrate the fact you have your baby and your both ok ( as much as your able with the stitches ) .

I agree with droves and nor should women ever regard it as a competition. Birth is unpredictable. You go with the flow and do what is best at the time and have no regrets.

The only thing I object to is public funds being used when women don't need a C section and choose to have one. I don't think in most areas they get that choice anyway so it's not much of an issue.

However I do get worried that a myth that C section birth is the cleanest, easiest, best. It isn't usually. Also having your baby when it's ready to come rather than arbitrarily when you decie to induce it or have the C section isn't particularly nature either unless there is medic al need for it. I was delighted by twins came in their own time at 40 weeks which is quite rare as twins but I am sure those last 2 weeks gave them such a nice head start and chance for final fattening up, strength etc which an inducement or C section at 38 weeks might have denied them.

i had to have emcs with my first and had complications after the cs had been done, then after leaving the hospital i was in alot of pain and struggled to look after my baby, so for me it is important to have v/b just so i am in less pain and can look after my baby. but i wouldnt say i failed by having to have a cs if i had to have one again to save my baby i would without a doubt.

I've had 3 vbs, first was ventouse, 3rd was a 37 week induction as I was very ill. Even though I was at risk of losing a kidney my doctors didn't advise a cs, though after 3 induction attempts they would have.

Having a vb was very important to me. Even after 37 hours in labour with a 10lb posterior baby ending in ventouse delivery, another vb (as it turned out, another 2!) was important. I have had very severe pnd, and in my mind, getting birth 'right' was something I could hold on to when in was in the dark hole of depression (also why breastfeeding was important to me).

Giving birth was a very empowering time for me. I would have had a cs if it was needed, of course. But I'm very glad it wasn't needed.

I had a ELCS and went private for it. Had bad experiences with our local NHS hospital after a miscarriage and thus decided that I wanted everything as 'medicalised' and controlled as possible and safe for baby. Everyone is different. I did what I felt was safest for the little one.

Yes, we are lucky to have some choices.
I never needed a C section and was lucky for that. I also liked the feeling I was doing what women and female animals have always done, that connection to the past and nature for me despite pain was a wonderful experience. Those 5 births were some of the most important experiences of my whole life. However had I needed a C section (as is common with twins which are not sweet and wonderful but are in fact a very risky thing and many end up disabled, despite cmmon misconceptions about twins) that would have been fine too - as the aim was healthy live babies not fulfilling a birth plan.

Yup but xenia but my ds who was born with 100% medical intervention to a woman (me) who'd waited years to have a child, was on the ivs list (but thankfully got pregnant without it at the nth hour), was healthy etc but who's pregnancy went on far too long- my medical induction, the monitoring etc was to me was wholly natural and fulfilling as well. And it resulted in a live birth - good for everyone, no?

"However had I needed a C section (as is common with twins which are not sweet and wonderful but are in fact a very risky thing and many end up disabled, despite cmmon misconceptions about twins) that would have been fine too - as the aim was healthy live babies not fulfilling a birth plan. " Yes, absolutely, and not just for twins but for many other healthy women.

'some choices' - are you joking xenia?

I don't think we are disagreeing. Where it's medically necessary induction is wise. 2 weeks either side of the due date is usually fine but people differ in what they need.

Some choice>? I just meant exactly that that women have some choices over childbirth.

I chose to have a private midwife with the twins. I did wonder whether not to use her once we knew it would be twins not one baby but my GP said it would be even more not less useful and he was right.

It is also very empowering for women to know that the law says they decide. There was a case just before I had my babies which I found comforting - that even if you are in labour you are competent to take your own decisions.

I was allowed to go 3 and a half weeks past my due date with my first child, had a back to back labour which went on for 22 hours, denied a top of of epidural, ventouse extraction, masses of stitches. Completely mismanged labour. A C Section would have been preferable.

my 1st dc was a normal delivery, the next 3 were all elective cs, the 5th was to be an ecs but ended up an emergency when she arrived early at 32 weeks, I had an abruption. Apart from the emergency one the rest were pretty similar experiences, I didn't really give much thought to how the baby came out. I was always more focused on the baby, not the birth. I certainly never felt inferior for having cs.

I chose to have a c section with my third child aginst the advice of every medical person I spoke to. Well, apart from MY GP, who had 2 sections herself for no other reason than that in her job she had seen so many natural births go horribly wrong, that she felt she was much safer with a section!

I found my section so wonderful. No pain, quick recovery, no regrets at all.

My natural births were bloody painful if I'm honest, and the recovery was much harder due to stitches ect... I'd choose c section again (but I'm NOT having anymore!).

As has been said many times over, everyone has their own preference. Like you, OP, I was just grateful to live in a country where appropriate (and immediate) help with delivery was available.

I had an EMCS after 48hrs of unsuccessful labour. I lost blood and had to have a transfusion. I don't feel I have missed out at all. Sure, getting over the surgery took time but in the whole scheme of things, I am still a mother, and my child was safely delivered.

Oh forgot to add......the reason I wanted a section after my second birth was that I was left with no feeling in my bladder and couldn't pee for 5 months. This was due to the pushing stage. My second was 9lb 13oz, and I pushed for 3 hours (this was because of limited communication beween midwives)....I was left too long. My first baby was a forceps delivery, and I asked for help with my second, but they made me continue without seeing a Doctor at all.

My consultant didn't know if I would ever get feeling back. It was really scary and stressful (especially while caring for a newborn too and 5 year old).

Despite this, I still had to push for a section, but I'm glad I did.

I didn't get very far though this thread and got a Bingo. Hope this post helps you understand things better, probably not though.

Why did I not want to be given a GA and not meet my clean, dressed baby for 5 hours? Let me see...

BTW all the people saying they recovered quicker from a section - 6 years later I haven't recovered from mine and it's unclear if I ever will.

Xenia - sorry but wtf? I don't think your description of twins is accurate in the slightest. In the past year I have met (via forums) literally hundreds of mums of multiples and we have all had perfectly healthy babies. Could you perhaps post a link to some evidence supporting your claims?

With regards to c-sections, I never ever wanted one. I had my first 2 babies vaginally and when I met with the consultant for the twins she never once suggested a section. I was lucky to have uncomplicated labours but if a section had been necessary then that would have been fine. It wouldn't have been my preference but nor would it have been the end of the world - so long as the end result is the same the 'journey' is somewhat irrelevant.

droves, I felt just fine and wasn't shocked or traumatised. It was a good experience. Purely and entirely because I wanted to.

I don't think it is safer or better or worse than any other birth choice but why in the name of god would anyone be interested in how i gave birth? I don't get it, if people care they have way too much time on their hands.

I do think mental health also comes innto it. I had a 37 hour backtoback labour with my ten pound son and despite my begging they wouldnt give me a csection. It took me weeks to recover physically, bonding with my son was really hard for the first few months and i was so traumatised i couldnt talk about my experience until recently. "best for baby" isnt just about physical aspects...a baby needs love more than anything else.

Im having a csection in february. Im really nervous.

Everyone is different. Every birth is different. We are lucky to live where we have the medical ability to cope with these differences. Why would we judge others for their differences? It doesn't make any sense to me.

Loads of twins are fine but it is risky to have twins. I definitely know that as a fact. Lots of twins come early and that in itself is a risk factor. Just do any two second google search and you will see twin births are riskier than single babies. There is a huge increase in them due to IVF too although I have not seen a study comparing non IVF twins like mine and IVF twins and their eventual outcomes.

You are twice as likely to go into labour too early with twins.

multiples.about.com/od/pregnancy/a/pregnancyrisk.htm

That is not a very good link but most of uf who conceive twins tend to read all the textbooks on that and it is pretty well known it is risky business.

This was the study I had remembered which made me think that like with breastfeeding we only so far know about 1% of the advantages and there are heaps more to know although gosh much better to have a C section than a dead mother or child of course.

Study claims vaginal birth is better for babies
New Australian study claims that vaginal birth gives babies a bacterial advantage.
A new study from researchers at the Australia's School of Biotechnology and Biomolecular Sciences at the University of NSW claims to offer evidence about the health benefits of vaginal birth over cesarean birth for babies.

According to the study, babies born by caesarean section are more vulnerable to asthma, allergies and infection as they miss out on receiving their mothers' good bacteria during birth. Alternatively, according to researchers, babies delivered vaginally received protective bacteria as they passed through the birth canal. Left on the baby's skin, this bacteria could then colonized the baby's intestine and help inoculate her against immediate and future germs and illnesses.

These findings were apparently based on research showing that white blood cells in babies born by cesarean were different to those born vaginally, potentially altering the way their bodies responded to attacks on their immune systems for the rest of their lives.

Fortunately, for moms whose doctors are recommending a c-section, there is an out-clause. Babies had other chances to receive their mother's bacteria, during skin-to-skin contact directly after birth and if they were breastfed."

Good grief amothersplace - they let you go three and a half weeks overdue? That's shocking.

Fergus you have the advantage in knowing you'll be having a section in that you can prepare practically for it. I wish for example that I'd had a changing table so I hadn't had to bend so much, and that I hadn't bought such an absurdly heavy pram. Think about how you'll bathe your baby, too - bending over to do it in the main bath is v.tricky.

Good luck - I'm sure you'll be fine. Even as an EMCS mine was calm and beautiful. I didn't get to hold ds for a while as I'd had too much pain relief (I'd begged the anesthetist ) but his father held him within minutes so I really wasn't remotely bothered. I know that apparently it's trickier to establish breastfeeding after a CS, but I had no problems at all. :)

VB is what it is. Certainly not necessarily a wonderful experience. My waters broke and contractions started. 57 hours later my baby was born, after a host of interventions. I'd do it again for another baby, but the most pleasant part was the epidural when I finally got it.