to pretend that state school is not so bad...

[RichTeas]

We are in an area with no shortage of preps and indies; the state schools are not bad, but for us, definitely not the preferred option. Yet it looks like it's going to be state all the way through. So far DS (Y3) doesn't have any idea of the types of schools that exist, as we have never openly discussed it, but I expect soon he will be clued up enough to question the system he finds himself in. It feels disingenuous to fib that we're happy with just a state education (when we're not), yet we don't want him to grow up feeling he's missed out by over-egging the independents. I suppose it could be worse, he could be in private and then forced to come out, but the issues is the same I wonder how others explain this kind of mismatch...

My oldest went to the village school and then onto the comprehensive that it is the feeder for - my youngest will do the same.

This is normal, what 95+% of children did/do, so they have no reason to question the school they go to - it is the school most children in the village go to, that the council provides transport to, that you see fast swathes of teenagers in their uniforms embarking and disembarking on

I don't understand why the OP thinks her children will question why they go to the same school as everyone else? I would have thought it was the minority, who go private, that may wish to have a reason for educating their children separately from their neighbours.

My oldest has friends across the social spectrum. What they have in common is that they are all sensible, mature, hardworking girls - who can come from all walks of life and who will gravitate together in any school to become friends.

"It feels disingenuous to fib that we're happy with just a state education "

It's absolutely fine for the vast majority of the population. What makes you and your PFB so special?

Another one here who doesn't understand why you would even have a conversation discussing the cost of state or private schools with a primary aged child. For various reasons I have one in state and one in private. We have never ever discussed that there is a financial difference in their schools, it is totally unecessary but then again we are very comfortable in our decision. We simply said that we chose the schools we felt suited each child, totally true. When my eldest asked about the difference in state and private school we simply said that private schools were paid for by parents and state schools were paid for by the government and he has accepted that fully. We have never given the children any indication that one mght be better than the other. Our state schools are excellent though and the feeder secondary, in particular, is one of the best in the country so there is no shame in going there in fact, we feel sorry for people who dont get a place and choose to go private.

my daughter did want to go to the independent - the 'school for clever girls'. she had to wait five years and pass exams before joining her high school aged 11. paying for it was a challenge, and we (me and her - daddy wasn't around) couldn't have done it without the assisted places around at the time - at least not until she got into sixth form, when i was earning enough to pay fully. but i haven't regretted it. she is well-educated, confident and happy. and her baby will be joining the kindergarten in a couple of years' time.

"the 'school for clever girls'."
but lovebunny - why didn't you disabuse her of this ridiculous notion? If she had called the state grammar the school for "clever girls" she would have been correct. The indie should have been the "school for girls who have rich mummies and daddies or who think their kids are not clever enough to be successful at a comp."

The only time I queried private v state was when I was in the 6th form and we had an influx of dcs from private schools. I wondered what was so bad with their school they'd want to come to ours (state grammar)?

*usualsuspect3 I assume you're referring to my post when I said suck it up?

I meant as in get on with it; state education is excellent, depending upon the school of course . You could say the same for badly run private schools; they can't all be good!

Round here the rich parents of bright kids go for the state schools
and the rich parents of the thicker kids (or those not in the right catchments) pay for mollycoddling
The rest of us are delighted with the state school

after all no state school would have a wind band, a flute ensemble and a chamber orchestra would it ?
let alone cricket teams, rugby teams, netball teams
or heaven forfend Latin classes

lovebunny lots of very clever boys and girls do very well in state schools, and not just in grammars. It takes the same hard work that it would do at a private school, and possibly a bit more parental support to make up for the lack of swish facilities and small classes. I wouldn't dream of letting my children believe that what they are getting is second rate - it isn't, unless they and I sabotage things to make it so.

I understand the difference between private and state education and I wasn't privately educated.

charleybarley
I was private, as were all my siblings. Some of our kids have private boarded, others private day, others state comps
ONLY those who have not encountered good state schools away from London are so sniffy about them.

My kids are coming out with a far more rounded education than I ever got.
AND we get nice holidays with the cash saved.

"I think a lot of people, who have not been privately educated themselves, do not actually understand what the differences are between a state and an independent education."

Probably because we are all stupid and went to state schools

everlong
the school I'm thinking of is private, non selective. I speak no less than the truth.

I doubt that a 'lot of' parents do not know the difference between state and private. It is not rocket science, especially these days when you can learn so much about different schools from their websites.

Everlong
Are you SERIOUSLY trying to say that private schools with entrance exams get the same results as those without !
You need to read the league tables rather better.