to pretend that state school is not so bad...

[RichTeas]

We are in an area with no shortage of preps and indies; the state schools are not bad, but for us, definitely not the preferred option. Yet it looks like it's going to be state all the way through. So far DS (Y3) doesn't have any idea of the types of schools that exist, as we have never openly discussed it, but I expect soon he will be clued up enough to question the system he finds himself in. It feels disingenuous to fib that we're happy with just a state education (when we're not), yet we don't want him to grow up feeling he's missed out by over-egging the independents. I suppose it could be worse, he could be in private and then forced to come out, but the issues is the same I wonder how others explain this kind of mismatch...

"But on mn it's perfectly ok for the state brigade to berate the private lot."

No it isn't. It's perfectly OK to berate the arrogant, the rude, the insensitive and the snobbish. Regardless of topic.

The OP fits the bill perfectly.

Wow, that really is one of the most spectacularly offensive thread titles I've ever seen!

I would love to send my kids private for the small class sizes and range of academic subjects available (tho' grammar would be my first choice if I had unlimited options) but it's not an unmixed bag of blessings. My brothers went to a well regarded public school, where they were encouraged to refer to the cleaning staff as 'skivs'.
My db reacted against that and would not even consider private school for his kids.

There are some rubbish private schools and some excellent state ones.

Really? Did you actually read the OP?

THe OP was really snooty about it you can't deny the snootiness of the title Everrlong 'to pretend state school is ok '

I am referring to this thread, actually.

And it's telling that when the snobbery and insensitivity is overt, as opposed to the usual sugar coated version, you don't believe it's real.

socharlotte what a load shit. It's easy to say that when you yourself are bragging about how wonderful your state school is. You are lucky to live in an area where what you have described is available at a state school.

I do spend a small fortune on my child's happiness and education as there was no other option here! I struggle to pay it but at least we no longer have to watch parents beating the shit out of each other in the playground or "cunt" banded around the year 2 classroom. At least finally, at year 3 she is spending time being taught not humiliated or evacuated from the classroom as another fist fight

That drivel you posted in your last paragraph was much more offensive than the OPs post.

I don't deny that I have made my views clear. But on this occasion I am talking about this thread. I think it is telling, as I said that you think the OP isn't real.

However, if you care to come up with some of this "abuse" I am happy to discuss it.

I've always thought, as the adult, you have to manage what you say to children for everyone's benefit. It's not a completely equal relationship - children cannot handle every issue in the world without any guidance from their parents.

So, if I was sending my child to a good state school - as indeed I do - I'd talk with them positively about it within that context. I've probably mentioned private schools in passing - for example they may possibly know that a couple of their grandparents went to a boarding school - like Hogwarts - but probably not quite as much magic going on ! They know what school their friends and cousins go to and a few go to private schools - but it's really not a big issue for them.

I have been to both state and independent and I can honestly say that the only thing that makes that dramatic a difference is the extra curricular activities that are on offer.

Get you DC into a range of after school activities and read with them daily, problem solved.

Unless you are going for the absolute top independent school's, there is no difference IMO. I actually think state is far better for character building and socialisation.

OP back again (and no I am not charleybarley, though I do completely agree with her assertion that parents have a right to prefer a type of education).

In any case, my OP was not to suggest that one system was better than another, but that because of my own "preferences" I am not sure how I will deal with a question from DS when (if!) it comes up. Some of less hysterical responses have been helpful and thought provoking, thank you.

Incidentally, my preferences are based more on manners and ambience than academics, as I believe both systems can produce well educated individuals, and I think state education has many positive aspects.

And the apology for any offence caused? Nope- thought not.

Why on earth would anyone be offended?

"my preferences are based more on manners and ambience than academics"

doesn't that just mean that you don't think state schools can deliver on either manners or ambience?

Because your thread title alone was offensive, Richteas? Can you really not see that?
No-one would blame you wanting a particular education for your child, but your thread title implies the absolute judgement that 'state schools are bad'. That is the only possible way to read the question 'AIBU to pretend that state schools are not so bad?'.

boschy perhaps not the ones in OPs area?

my preferences are based more on manners and ambience than academic

Wow.

My children and thousands of other state educated children have manners not sure what you mean about ambience I dont fancy a guess though the image of state schools seems to be a bit skewed sometimes inner city thugs or 'poor people' who can't bring up their children properly .

TBF I think anything RichTeas says from now on will be deemed outrageous!

RichTeas I would try to leave quickly and very very quietly...

I kind of understand the ambience thing in that you can walk into a school and get that feeling like when you buy a house. The Head being fabulous helps too.

They can try, but I think it very much depends on the raw material they have to work with. To say otherwise is to deny reality.