To absolutely hate hate hate the school playground?

[peedoffbird]

I waited to pick my dd up from her primary school today. It suddenly struck me that the 5 minutes I waited there and the dynamics of the people around me pretty much represented the way I have always felt about my place in life and how others view me.

Little groupings here and there - little cliques that I am not and never could be part of. Largely walked past and ignored even when I go to say hello. I felt totally invisible.

Does anyone feel like this or is it just me and my paranoia??!!

[motherinferior]

I very much miss the school gate these days, since I've been working full-time. There are many delightful, charming people I have met there. Now I have to make a special effort to see them, dammit

[motherinferior]

In fact this thread has reminded me to text several mothers I haven't seen for a bit and suggest a drink.

[scottishmummy]

hell no.school gate is not like real life its a weird subculture of some weird mums
i can honestly say ive never encountered such infantalised or petty people as i have at school gates
real life is refreshingly uncomplicated in comparison

[DyeInTheEar]

I've made some fantastic friends via DS's school. I've also come across a couple of not so nice people...much like places I've worked in / university / my own school days etc.

I would never think that if people were talking to each other in the playground they were bitching about me though. I'd just think they were chatting unless they were looking over pointing and laughing and whispering behind hands obviously

[BitOutOfPractice]

Either I am really dim or my DC go to a very unusual school, but I don't recognise this bitchy, snippy cliquey place you describe OP

[wornoutbutstillwonderful]

With my eldest son I became friends with a group of women and althiugh I never got into any arguments myself the stealth boasting was major, I didn't really enjoy some of their company but I was quite young and was the youngest one of them so didn't want to argue/seem ignorant etc. Ds2 went and I went with a good friend Ds3 's turn and I couldn't give a toss what anyone thinks of me. I go in and drop off/ pick up say a polite hya to anyone I know. It has however took me 10 years to harden up.

[thebody]

Wornout, yes I agree its an age thing, you are intimidated in your 20s but couldn't give a crap in your 40s!!

Ah well one good thing about ageing!!

[thebody]

Oldbah yes indeed, happy days of the playground!!!

[scottishmummy]

given this topic populates books,newspapers,online im surprised some never seen it
however it doesn't really matter,its not significant really
whats important is the kids get along and i pootle along to parties and keep schtum

[Chubfuddler]

Does this really matter? You're there to pick up your children from school, that's all. Presumably you have actual friends elsewhere. There's no reason why you should become bosom buddies with someone just because you occupy the same area of Tarmac for ten minutes a day.

[motherinferior]

I've seen lots about it. And yes, I have one - extremely grumpy - colleague who hates the school gate. But I do, myself, find it a charming place. Why shouldn't I? I like meeting new people. DD2's school (DD1 has just left primary) has lots of nice kids, who unsurprisingly have mostly very nice parents.

[scottishmummy]

given its a social mileu parents have to inhabit i can see it causes consternation
ideally people should get along but they dont,and it al leaks out as gossip
and this clearly impacts upon people differently,as all the threads attset

[Chubfuddler]

Blimey. Social mileu (is that how you spell it?). It's just another daily chore to me. Im more interested in hearing about my sons day when he gets out than standing around chatting to other parents.

[scottishmummy]

clearly some of you find it a fragrant and lovely place,and some clearly dont
i find it quite peculiar, and an odd subculture.i chose to ignore this
certainly anecdotally id say many i know find schoolgates an unfriendly place

[Mintyy]

"There's no reason why you should become bosom buddies with someone just because you occupy the same area of Tarmac for ten minutes a day."

True, and no reason why you shouldn't either. I guess it just depends on your general outlook and attitude to other people.

[motherinferior]

I could hardly call my rather scruffy corner of SE London fragrant. I do find it quite congenial.

[motherinferior]

And DD1 has gone to a school with lovely parents, hasn't she, Mintyy

[Chubfuddler]

Oh I've got two very good friends from the playground. I just didn't start off with some expectation that me and the other mums from ds's class would be trilling away wittily and dashing in and out of each others houses for coffee. Nor do I feel aggrieved if other people appear to be friends. That's just odd really.

[scottishmummy]

of course its social mileu esp if a housewife given the regular social contact
im nonplussed but then i dont see why folk get all enthused about school and pta
i suppose its pot luck and chemistry how it all works out

[Mintyy]

Well, ya know, just average but at least sane.

[peedoffbird]

I don't want to become bosom buddies with anyone - it's not about that. Also I'm not suggesting that anyone is bitchy or talking about me. I'm not that paranoid!! I really don't think that is happening. I think it's more about feeling invisible if that makes sense. However, this is a bigger issue because I will admit to feeling like this in the past. It's like I feel people don't "see" me - it's hard to explain. Please excuse me as I am probably talking utter crap!!!

[FizzyLaces]

Horrid, I hated it 10 years ago and have a wee one starting next year and my DP is doing it this time round :)

[peedoffbird]

Hopefully Fizzy, you will be able to rise above it all or really love it and have a totally different experience!

As others have said, in the grand scheme of life it isn't important. It's a momentary feeling that lasts for a short while and then you just get on with the more important things in life. I posted during that momentary feeling!