To absolutely hate hate hate the school playground?

[peedoffbird]

I waited to pick my dd up from her primary school today. It suddenly struck me that the 5 minutes I waited there and the dynamics of the people around me pretty much represented the way I have always felt about my place in life and how others view me.

Little groupings here and there - little cliques that I am not and never could be part of. Largely walked past and ignored even when I go to say hello. I felt totally invisible.

Does anyone feel like this or is it just me and my paranoia??!!

[giveitago]

I found there were some awful gangs at our school (primary). The reception year my kid was invisible because school friendships were controlled by the parents. I worked so wasn't around every day plus I wasn't as evangelical in my approach to the school as many of the parents. But I held my nerve and few years on I've seen those parent 'friendships' get bitchy and competitive and it's quite a sight to see.

But it's a big school. If it's a tiny community it must be tough. I just do the school runs when I'm around - I smile - communicate where I can get a word in edgeways and just stay out of the schoolgate politics. Works for me.

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

Head down, in and out sharpish is my mantra for the days I don't feel great. Don't sweat it, just do the biz then leave.

[WillowinGloves]

EnglishWoman - that's lovely! I specially like the inviting one other child so that they are not the only ones. Wish we lived where you do. I hope they stay friends for ever!

[hanginginthere1]

I long ago gave up trying to chat/ be friendly etc to the Mums at my daughters' school. Where to start. Being a Cof E school, and over subscribed, attended Church and Sunday school[previous years,' intake did not have to because class sizes were small, and lots of siblings in daughters' classes]. Labelled a "god squader" by some Mums, others gave us a wide berth. Very Christian!
Became a Governor, another stick with which to beat me[and my daughters].
In hindsight, wish I had chosen another non Church school, and also wish I had never become a Governor. One daughter too competitive, good at sport, the other, too good a singer!
The area where we live is a nice one, but unfortunately, lots of materialistic people, who like to compete re cars, holidays etc. I still have no real friends, and my two daughters have often struggled to be accepted.
Just get on with things now as my daughters are now at secondary school.

[peedoffbird]

It's good to see lots of different views. It seems that people have have had vastly differing experiences in the playground.

Ultimately, I guess if you aren't bothered then you can't get upset - I will work on it!!

[DuchessofMalfi]

I usually have a book on the go on my phone, so I'm reading, and keeping an eye out for DS to make sure he's not attempting to escape somewhere. People aren't that chatty at our school, more of a wait, grab and go at the end of the day.

[hanginginthere1]

Unfortunately, people are not always friendly if you are friendly. Too many, pre judge.
Personally, I try to be friendly. If it is not reciprocated, I move on.

[Woozley]

I don't understand why anyone with a KS2 child (especially Yrs 5 and 6) are still waiting in the playground to start off with. Wait in the car or down the road a bit if you drive. Eases congestion round the school too.

A lot of them have a younger child at the school as well.

[LadyHarrietdeSpook]

This is the sort of situation where if you haven't experienced it, it's easy to write it off as 'all in the person's head.'

I have been on both sides of this - the mums at DD1's preschool all knew each other via baby groups etc and frankly didn't take a shine to me for the most part, although we were neighbours etc. I could never really work out the issue - probably didn't help I was basiclaly the only working mum and not around a lot - and wouldn't have normally cared however it did affect DD1 - she was cut out of playdates and parties etc. One child actually said to her: "We are going to xyz for tea and YOU ARE NOT." I think not because they sought to brand us pariah's but more that because the mums didn't know me, they didn't think to include my daughter.

I was glad I was home on maternity leave with DD started at school because I wanted to get to know the mums but in reality we got really lucky with our year. The mums were lovely and I made lots of firends but I don't think it would hvae mattered if I hadn't been home in terms of DD's friends. Just a very different set of people involved, at lest partially down to the luck of the draw.,

[cuteboots]

sensesworkingovertime- We can all be in the same gang as I hate it with a passion. I just think that I havent helped as Im at work all the time but then another bit of me thinks that if it wasnt for my son I wouldnt have anything to do with them anyway. I have tried to be friendly but most of them just scowl at you so not for me thanks. Even members of my family (Cousins) who have kids at the same school arent that friendly so they can bog off as well....