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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that this restaurant/Pub shouldn't really refer to itself a "family friendly"

144 replies

1Catherine1 · 21/10/2012 21:24

Yesterday, my fiance a I went to a hotel/pub/restaurant place with our daughter who is 18 months old. We went to check the place out as it has quite a nice wedding package.

The part we were in was quite empty and apart from the the table of 4 who were in the same room but around the corner and about 10 foot away, the whole area was empty.

My daughter started getting restless so to amuse her I stood up and bounced her on my hip, tickled her, played peekaboo and let her on the floor to run around where there was nobody (well out of view of the other table - she ran the other way). The only noise that anyone could hear was the noise of my daughter laughing.

A few minutes later, when my daughter was sat on my hip again and I was bouncing her again a woman from the pub came over and informed us they "this is a restaurant" and the behaviour was unacceptable and if we didn't stop we would have to leave. I was so taken back by this I conformed and sat down with her, and put my DD on the breast to stop her making any noise. When my meal arrived, I ate it quickly and was desperate to leave.

AIBU to think that the noise of an 18 month old giggling in an establishment that welcomes families shouldn't be "unacceptable"? I'm also surprised at myself. Thinking back I really think I should have just picked up my daughter and left and not waited for the food. Especially as the woman spent the rest of our time there nipping out and blatantly checking if we were finished - it was like she couldn't get us out of the door quick enough.

Maybe I'm too used to my fiance's hotel, his boss (the owner) loves children so loves nothing more than to hear them happy.

OP posts:
Annunziata · 21/10/2012 21:38

It's hard to say without being there and knowing exactly how loud you were.

Alisvolatpropiis · 21/10/2012 21:39

Maybe the other table complained? They would have been able to hear you as well as your daughter? A lot of people don't like children to run around in restaurants.

Personally I'd rather hear a child laughing than screaming and being generally upset so...YANBU. You were trying to keep her entertained and be considerate to other diners,were you meant to get up and leave mid way through your meal?! Quite ridiculous considering it's a "family friendly" establishment.
Assuming you won't be going with that particular wedding package?!

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda · 21/10/2012 21:39

I would imagine it's the running around that they think is not acceptable behaviour rather than the laughing, because it isn't.

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 21:40

YWBU to let her run around in a restaurant.

Annunziata · 21/10/2012 21:41

Oops missed the running. YABU.

Bigwheel · 21/10/2012 21:42

I don't think you should let her on the floor to run around to be honest. Perhaps it's quite cute at 18 months in a quiet pub but not so much when there 5 years old. Was there a garden you could of gone into? You may of been out of site of the other diners but they could still here her. Also, and more importantly, was your dd in the path of waitresses?

Bigwheel · 21/10/2012 21:43

Hear not here!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 21/10/2012 21:43

If she was running about, where other tables are laid and ready for diners, they were probably worried she would knock/pull something over or off a table, and hurt herself, then you would sue. Not saying you would, but these days, every business seems to consider how any situation can land them with a law suit from one of these "compensation vulture" law firms and act accordingly by banning anything and everything to do with children "roaming free" so to speak.
They just can't afford to take the risk and blame "health and safety" when it's fear of being taken to court by someone with their eye on the compensation Confused

Rockchick1984 · 21/10/2012 21:44

I wouldn't let DS run around in a restaurant simply because if a waitress or someone was walking with a tray of food they may not see him and trip - I would be devastated if plates of food / cups of coffee etc were spilt on him Sad however apart from the running around nothing sounds bad about what you did (my DS is same age) :)

PatriciaHolm · 21/10/2012 21:45

She can't run around in a restaurant, regardless of how friendly it is. It's dangerous - there are waiters and waitresses walking around with hot food, drinks, knives etc. The owner was probably desperately concerned one of her staff was going to have an accident.

Sirzy · 21/10/2012 21:46

Children will make noise but IMO parents shouldn't encourage excitement by tickling etc as it does make children get loud. You certainly shouldn't have been letting her walk around.

TheMonster · 21/10/2012 21:48

Yanbu to be letting her run around, and to encourage the noise.

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 21:50

Why do people seem to think 'family friendly' means allowing kids to disturb other diners comfort?

Annunziata · 21/10/2012 21:50

I think they interpret as 'centred around my family and my family only'.

squeakytoy · 21/10/2012 21:50

It is friendly towards families who are sitting eating a meal, it isnt a play area to run around in.

Of course you were being unreasonable.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2012 21:51

Most restaurants are crying out for custom during this recession

Are you sure your DD wasn't louder than you think?

Remember you're used to her but other people aren't.

I don't think she should have been running around though.

Original poster
1Catherine1 · 21/10/2012 21:53

Thanks for the replies. No, we won't be going back.

In response to the questions, no she wasn't in anybody's way, we were at the far end of the building. Due to the layout, nobody but me and her father could see where she ran up and down. She was less noisy when she did that than when she was laughing rather loudly, as LOs do. There was a garden but it was pooring down with rain.

hmmm...

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 21/10/2012 21:53

YABU

You shouldn't have "let her on the floor to run around". Also, the noise you were making may have been noisier than you thought.

Perhaps next time take some books along for her, or drawing materials or whatever quieter activity she might enjoy doing. Probably better to keep her amused that way.

Annunziata · 21/10/2012 21:55

nobody but me and her father could see where she ran up and down.

Including the waiting staff. And there's the problem.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2012 21:55

Yes but who would get the blame/end up being sued if your baby ended up covered in hot soup or coffee?

The staff can't possibly work with the thought of a baby running anywhere near them and they're not going to automatically trust you not to let that happen because they don't know you.

squeakytoy · 21/10/2012 21:56

I suspect you dont hear your child quite as loudly as other people do... Wink

Sirzy · 21/10/2012 21:59

If she wants to walk around then you or your DH should walk holding her hand making sure she doesn't get under anyones feet.

Keep books/paper/Pens/small toys available to keep her entertained but quietly.

The important think to remember is other people don't want to have their meal ruined by a squealing child running around

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 22:00

You do realise pubs/restaurants are not playgrounds for bored children? YABVU and entitled

MainlyMaynie · 21/10/2012 22:01

YANBU. What's family friendly about letting children sit very quietly at a table? If you were holding her when they complained then the complaint can't have been about running.

AnyaKnowIt · 21/10/2012 22:02

I have a 19 month old and there is no way I would let her run round

Its a restaurant, not a play ground

YABU