Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that this restaurant/Pub shouldn't really refer to itself a "family friendly"

144 replies

1Catherine1 · 21/10/2012 21:24

Yesterday, my fiance a I went to a hotel/pub/restaurant place with our daughter who is 18 months old. We went to check the place out as it has quite a nice wedding package.

The part we were in was quite empty and apart from the the table of 4 who were in the same room but around the corner and about 10 foot away, the whole area was empty.

My daughter started getting restless so to amuse her I stood up and bounced her on my hip, tickled her, played peekaboo and let her on the floor to run around where there was nobody (well out of view of the other table - she ran the other way). The only noise that anyone could hear was the noise of my daughter laughing.

A few minutes later, when my daughter was sat on my hip again and I was bouncing her again a woman from the pub came over and informed us they "this is a restaurant" and the behaviour was unacceptable and if we didn't stop we would have to leave. I was so taken back by this I conformed and sat down with her, and put my DD on the breast to stop her making any noise. When my meal arrived, I ate it quickly and was desperate to leave.

AIBU to think that the noise of an 18 month old giggling in an establishment that welcomes families shouldn't be "unacceptable"? I'm also surprised at myself. Thinking back I really think I should have just picked up my daughter and left and not waited for the food. Especially as the woman spent the rest of our time there nipping out and blatantly checking if we were finished - it was like she couldn't get us out of the door quick enough.

Maybe I'm too used to my fiance's hotel, his boss (the owner) loves children so loves nothing more than to hear them happy.

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 21/10/2012 22:02

If its the type of venue I think you are describing, then you might be being unreasonable. Some places, despite not being great for toddlers, are generally fine for babies and older children, and are just not the sort of places toddlers should be a big presence.

Will you link to the venue?

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 22:02

Eating at the dinner table is a family event. Doing cartwheels in the middle of the dining room wouldnt be. Why do you think family friendly means kids running around/squeeling etc?

squeakytoy · 21/10/2012 22:04

"What's family friendly about letting children sit very quietly at a table?"

That is normal behaviour for a family eating a meal isnt it?? Confused

You dont appear to understand the meaning of "family friendly", it means children are welcome to eat in the place, not run riot while other people are expected to suffer their bad behaviour and the parents indulgently gaze at their little darlings or (as is usually the case) get pissed and completely ignore the mayhem that their brats are causing.

AnyaKnowIt · 21/10/2012 22:05

I always thought family friendly was about having highchairs and kid sized meals

Goldchilled7up · 21/10/2012 22:05

I don't think the op is being unreasonable. How can anyone keep an 18months old sitting quietly during a meal? Hmm

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 22:07

You just do. Or you leave.
The fact you have a ratty bored overtired child should not have to impact on other diners. Eating out with kids who refuse to sit and be quiet isnt compulsary.

Sirzy · 21/10/2012 22:08

Quite easily with some effort and common sense.

Don't tickle them or do other things which are going to wind them up. Read books, give them paper to draw on or some small toys. If they get restless take them for a walk

They don't need to be silent but they shouldn't be allowed to disturb others

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2012 22:08

It's not about keeping the baby 'sitting quietly'

It's about not allowing her to run around

It's also about not disturbing the other diners etc

FishfingersAreOK · 21/10/2012 22:10

If you want her to run around in a restaurant, take her to a place with a Funzone/Playzone bit designed for her to run around in. I have always been 100% strict about DCs not running about in any coffee shop/restaurant/dining area (even at family friendly family weddings). IF there is any chance of hot food being served. I would not want my DC hurt - and would be horrified if they caused something to be spilt on anyone else too.

YWBU.

Viviennemary · 21/10/2012 22:12

Family friendly means children welcome. Not children allowed to run around, make a noise and annoy everyone trying to enjoy their meal.

Tincletoes · 21/10/2012 22:13

Tbh unless we were there and able to see the restaurant it's impossible to say.

On one hand it could be a family restaurant where you were letting her "run" within a metre of the table, nowhere near anyone else and the owner is just a miserable old bat - in which case YANBU

On the other hand if it is a more adult venue and she was constantly shrieking and getting under the waiting staff's feet - then you are definitely BU

And various shades inbetween.

pigletmania · 21/10/2012 22:14

YANBU the op was only bouncing her young toddler on her hip trying to make her laugh. Where does it say the dd was was running about Hmm. She was a toddler aughing not playing a flipping recorder.

AnyaKnowIt · 21/10/2012 22:16

and let her on the floor to run around

from the op

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 22:16

and let her on the floor to run around where there was nobody (well out of view of the other table - she ran the other way).

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2012 22:16

Where does it say the dd was was running about Hmm

In both of the OP's posts Confused

Chandon · 21/10/2012 22:17

the whole bouncing, peekaboo playing and tickling and running around sounds very, ehm, "present".

18 months is a hard age to go to restaurants though!

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 22:17

Why dont people actually read posts anymore before wading in with the PA faces?

usualsuspect3 · 21/10/2012 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sleepthief · 21/10/2012 22:18

Didn't you realise children should be seen (only occasionally) and not heard?

Sleepthief · 21/10/2012 22:19

Sorry, meant to add an Hmm

usualsuspect3 · 21/10/2012 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata · 21/10/2012 22:20

Yes, children should be free to disturb everyone else's lunch. And why shouldn't they run about when there are hot foods and liquids? And people carrying trays? They're not going to get hurt at all.

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 22:21

Quite Annunziata- tis common sense to encourage it!

FredFredGeorge · 21/10/2012 22:22

It was a pub - of course a child could walk around. DD should really have been stood at the bar with a couple of bacardi breezers chatting up some local chav's

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2012 22:23

I know none of us were there but imo the behaviour must have been disturbing or dangerous for the staff to tell the OP they'll have to leave if it doesn't stop.

I'm sure some people will disagree with that and just put it down to miserable staff, but I genuinely can't see why the staff would say that if the behaviour was perfectly acceptable/not dangerous.

Swipe left for the next trending thread