AIBU to think that this restaurant/Pub shouldn't really refer to itself a "family friendly"

[1Catherine1]

Yesterday, my fiance a I went to a hotel/pub/restaurant place with our daughter who is 18 months old. We went to check the place out as it has quite a nice wedding package.

The part we were in was quite empty and apart from the the table of 4 who were in the same room but around the corner and about 10 foot away, the whole area was empty.

My daughter started getting restless so to amuse her I stood up and bounced her on my hip, tickled her, played peekaboo and let her on the floor to run around where there was nobody (well out of view of the other table - she ran the other way). The only noise that anyone could hear was the noise of my daughter laughing.

A few minutes later, when my daughter was sat on my hip again and I was bouncing her again a woman from the pub came over and informed us they "this is a restaurant" and the behaviour was unacceptable and if we didn't stop we would have to leave. I was so taken back by this I conformed and sat down with her, and put my DD on the breast to stop her making any noise. When my meal arrived, I ate it quickly and was desperate to leave.

AIBU to think that the noise of an 18 month old giggling in an establishment that welcomes families shouldn't be "unacceptable"? I'm also surprised at myself. Thinking back I really think I should have just picked up my daughter and left and not waited for the food. Especially as the woman spent the rest of our time there nipping out and blatantly checking if we were finished - it was like she couldn't get us out of the door quick enough.

Maybe I'm too used to my fiance's hotel, his boss (the owner) loves children so loves nothing more than to hear them happy.

Gosh, for the first time this has made me glad we are living abroad! I have obviously adjusted to different social norms more than I thought, if the responses on this thread are typical. If you have a toddler you don't eat out or you keep them silent at the table? Fun.

Mainly this is probably going to come across as a bit wanky (so sorry about that ) but when we go out and take the children with us, we tend to see it as a 'family' thing and talk to/keep the children entertained at the table.

I wouldn't expect them to be silent, but I wouldn't let them scream or squeal and certainly wouldn't let them run around.

So do we, generally. I often feel that we look like we're over-supervising in comparison to parents here. But if people are supposed to just keep their toddlers at home, how are they going to learn how to behave in restaurants? And how are their parents going to learn how to keep them entertained in restaurants?

Mainly, if they're allowed to run around squealing, then they won't learn how to behave in restaurants anyway

As someone said ^^ family friendly means a place where children are welcome, there is child menus and high chairs.
It doesn't mean playground.

Tbh it's not so much the noise, it's the safety aspect. Of course a toddler is not going to sit in silence but if you had allowed your dc to continue running around, and no staff intervened, and a waitress tripped over her and spilt food or drink over your dc would you not have been furious?

The restaurant obviously want to avoid accidents and tbf if you want somewhere for your toddler to run around, go to wacky warehouse etc.

I would expect a "family friendly" restaurant to have high chairs, nappy-changing facilities, and kiddy-friendly meal options. That's it. I would not expect it to be full of toys or to be a safe environment for a toddler to run around in.

Unless it's one of those pub-with-a-soft-play-centre-in-it places, I would start on the assumption that running around and shrieking were not on. I would definitely not play tickling games as these are sure to wind up my child.

We didn't go out very often at this age, but when we did, we got a table in a corner and coralled DS between the table and the wall with a few toys and books. We would not let him run around, it's too dangerous as you don't know when someone will come around that corner with a tray of hot food - if he tried to run around he'd be strapped into a high chair for a bit, then let out again if and only if he stayed put in the corale.

OP I think YABU, sorry.

YABU and really inconsiderate.

Is this reminding anyone of the OP who let her toddler 'mingle' in coffee shops then got huffy when a guy asked her to stop him?

YABtotallyU

In restaurants, you sit down and eat your food.

You do not let your child run around (dangerous and bad mannered) and you do not encourage noise by tickling.

PFB entitled or what?!?

Nightowl yes that is what I was thinking of. I think some people really need reminding that other people will not find their children as endearing or tolerable as they do.

nightowlmostly ha ha yeah, that was a good one!

yabu for letting her run around, that is just a no no in a restaraunt unless outside in a pub garden/play area.

i also wouldnt tickle my toddler to entertain them when eating out, colouring stuff, small toys etc yes, but tickling them will just get them excitable and boisterous.

i have taken all my children out from a young age to restaraunts and pubs etc, but never let them run around, take toys that are appropriate and encourage them to sit quietly, if they wont and are disturbing other dinners then leave.

YABU. Children should not be running around in restaurants. My siblings' and friends' children all seem to manage it quite easily.

sitting and talking in regular level voice ie inside conversation fine, screaching, shouting being loud not ok in a restaraunt with other people.

i always reminded mine to use 'an inside voice' when they were little and no running around in a an area where hot food/drinks are served is common sense.

Ithink the restaurant handel it badly if the had ponted out the safety thing. they would still have a happy custmer The one we went to when ours were little to has a basket of books and toys for little ones

I don't think anyone is expecting people to sit in silence. However, running around and tickling people isnt acceptable in a restaurant.

I really don't see why people are struggling to grasp that certain behavious aren't appropriate in certain locations

"But if people are supposed to just keep their toddlers at home, how are they going to learn how to behave in restaurants? "

Not by playing peekaboo and tickling them, that is for sure?

If you had seen a child about that age with hot coffee all over them due to parents letting them run around because "it wasn't busy and she isn't doing any harm" then you wouldn't have let her run round in the first place.

When my dc were that age I wouldn't go into a restaurant without things to get them sitting through the meal.
We also usually didn't sit there and wait for the food. One of us would wait at the table, and the other would take little ones out for a walk/play, and we'd text when the food arrived. Always worked very well as then they were ready to sit down to eat, rather than had enough sitting by the time the food came.

A couple of books, colouring things, pretend phone, set of bracelets, paper dress up dolls, magnets... all good things that keep them quiet and calm sitting waiting as long as it's not too long.

Not only.

That was to usualsuspect.

night I was only thinking of that thread the other day. I was sitting in a cafe waiting til it was time for the bus when my toddler tried to go off pestering mingling. I didn't let her.

"These threads always bring out the smug mothers with their perfecctly behaved babies"

How do you know that the posters who says Yabu fall into this category?

You are just assuming.