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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that this restaurant/Pub shouldn't really refer to itself a "family friendly"

144 replies

1Catherine1 · 21/10/2012 21:24

Yesterday, my fiance a I went to a hotel/pub/restaurant place with our daughter who is 18 months old. We went to check the place out as it has quite a nice wedding package.

The part we were in was quite empty and apart from the the table of 4 who were in the same room but around the corner and about 10 foot away, the whole area was empty.

My daughter started getting restless so to amuse her I stood up and bounced her on my hip, tickled her, played peekaboo and let her on the floor to run around where there was nobody (well out of view of the other table - she ran the other way). The only noise that anyone could hear was the noise of my daughter laughing.

A few minutes later, when my daughter was sat on my hip again and I was bouncing her again a woman from the pub came over and informed us they "this is a restaurant" and the behaviour was unacceptable and if we didn't stop we would have to leave. I was so taken back by this I conformed and sat down with her, and put my DD on the breast to stop her making any noise. When my meal arrived, I ate it quickly and was desperate to leave.

AIBU to think that the noise of an 18 month old giggling in an establishment that welcomes families shouldn't be "unacceptable"? I'm also surprised at myself. Thinking back I really think I should have just picked up my daughter and left and not waited for the food. Especially as the woman spent the rest of our time there nipping out and blatantly checking if we were finished - it was like she couldn't get us out of the door quick enough.

Maybe I'm too used to my fiance's hotel, his boss (the owner) loves children so loves nothing more than to hear them happy.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/10/2012 22:23

Fred where does the OP say the child was walking around?

birdofthenorth · 21/10/2012 22:28

A similar thing happened to me when wedding venue hunting -my DSS, then five, was skipping round the gardens as we were showed round, not doing the slightest harm IMHO, and the proprietor, our tour guide, hushed him and made us feel totally unwelcome in an instant. Needless to say we did not choose to have our wedding there (and the absence of their pretty gazebo in our wedding pics has done us no harm several years later!)

BonzoDooDah · 21/10/2012 22:29

ICatherineI seeing as no-one else is saying it - I think for a "family friendly" restaurant they should have been more tolerant and unless she was howling out with laughter and you were shouting after her then it doesn't sound too bad. If it was a problem they should have asked you in a much nicer way to keep the noise down. And there was no need for the snotty looks. YWNBU

Vote with your feet - they've lost your custom so they lose! There are lots and lots of lovely resturants and people out there - keep looking!

threesocksonathreeleggedwitch · 21/10/2012 22:31

sorry children should never be running about in restaurants

PaintedInRed · 21/10/2012 22:31

It wasn't a child walking around though, it was an 18 month old running up and down.
DD was exactly the same at this age. She was very hard to entertain whilst sitting down. Which is exactly why we never went out for lunch with her then, it was too stressful and we always ended up rushing the meal.
Much preferred to get a babysitter and go out in the evening for food with just DH.

FutTheShuckUp · 21/10/2012 22:31

Bird- skipping around a garden is different to running about in a restaurant though.
It never ceases to amaze me though how many people seem to think wandering/running/playing about in establishments that serve food and hot drinks is acceptable and anyone who says otherwise doesnt deserve their custom

Tryharder · 21/10/2012 22:32

I have no problem with children laughing in a restaurant. If she was playing in an area where there were no other diners hence no waiters, then I don't seek the problem.

YWBU to ask though. Children speaking in voices louder than whispers in restaurants is a big MN no-no. Sadly, a lot of people don't really like children. You should have walked out, OP.

ShellyBoobs · 21/10/2012 22:37

I'm Shock at you admitting to tickling her, no doubt making her squeal, and then letting her run around. It's a restaurant not a playground!

'Family friendly' usually means children are catered for with suitable portion sizes and seating, not that it's ok to let them cause mayhem.

usualsuspect3 · 21/10/2012 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Labradorlover · 21/10/2012 22:44

You were waiting for your food. So waiting staff would have to come to your table, possibly with hot food/drinks, possibly with a toddler running about.......It's just not safe.

squeakytoy · 21/10/2012 22:45

laughing fine... squealing and screeching, which tickled children do is not fair on other diners..

usualsuspect3 · 21/10/2012 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2012 22:48

And how would having lax health and safety rules make a restaurant family friendly anyway?

If they allowed toddlers to run around, someone at some point is bound to get a plate or glass over the head or slip over on some spilt food.

If the OP's toddler got injured, it's the restaurant that's going to get the blame.

LucyBorgia · 21/10/2012 23:07

Lovely tolerant lot you are. Miserable pub miserable comments. Yanbu, the way I read it the toddler was safe, well looked after and couldn't have been bothering anyone who came to eat knowingly in a family friendly pub. Although not very knowingly (terrible grammar I know - its late and I'm cranky) because it wasn't very family friendly.

LucyBorgia · 21/10/2012 23:11

Oh and how very dare you tickle your child in public!!!! Shocking behavior! There is nothing worse than trying to eat pub food with the delighted goggle of an eighteen month old ringing in your ears! Atrocious behavior. Go home and stay there til they learn how to be miserable in public with you Angry vvvv v cranky tonight.

LucyBorgia · 21/10/2012 23:12

*giggle

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 21/10/2012 23:15

yabu, family friendly doesn't mean that you're welcome to treat it as a playground, table manners still apply.

usualsuspect3 · 21/10/2012 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

somedayma · 21/10/2012 23:31

YABU. if I was the manager I'd be worried about your child running into a waiter or waitress while they were carrying hot food/ drinks. One of my staff members could be injured. If your child gets injured due to your own negligence, that's not my problem. But i suspect you would try to make it my problem. Apart from the safety issue, a restaurant isn't a play park. No one wants to be bothered by random toddlers when eating somewhere they've paid to relax.

sashh · 21/10/2012 23:59

Which was it OP

A pub, a restaurant or a hotel.

If you were looking at a wedding package then surely it's not a pub with a wacky wherehouse attached.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 22/10/2012 00:09

"I stood up and bounced her on my hip, tickled her, played peekaboo and let her on the floor to run around "

You did this, in a restaurant, 10 ft away from other people (around a corner).

That is not far away.

And she was running up and down, in an area where people might carry hot food/drink.

Not really on at all.

mathanxiety · 22/10/2012 00:09

It's not sensible to wind up an 18 month old toddler and then let her run around in a restaurant even if it is far from full.

YAB a bit U.

Wheresmypopcorn · 22/10/2012 01:23

I would have left. Thought they could have handled the situation better though.

SomersetONeil · 22/10/2012 01:50

Our youngest is 2 and it's only been in the last month or so that dining out (i.e. more than just a coffee/fluffy and a muffin) is in any way enjoyable or bearable.

Toddlers at this age are just not restaurant-friendly - they have no patience to sit and be even slightly decorus - but at the same time, you as a grown adult are just desperate to be part of humanity and to go out and enjoy life in restaurants and such like, right?! Grin

It's a tough period, child-wise.

The thing is, though - while you think your individual child isn't making that much of a commotion and you're doing what you can to keep the boredom and fussing and potential tantrum at bay - the restaurant staff are dealing with the 15th toddler of the day... And to them, an 18-month old running around and being noisy and unpredictable is annoying in the extreme. As the parent of the individual child, you probably can't quite appreciate how much.

So - YANBU to want to go out and enjoy life and get your child used to restaurants and try to keep her entertained so as not to kick off. But then, neither are the restaurant staff being U by being a bit pissed off by the situation.

FolkGhoul · 22/10/2012 06:13

'Family friendly' usually means children are catered for with suitable portion sizes and seating, not that it's ok to let them cause mayhem.

^^ this.

It means their license allows them to have children on the premises when they are with adult's and eating a meal. Not that it's a playground.

The thing is, though - while you think your individual child isn't making that much of a commotion and you're doing what you can to keep the boredom and fussing and potential tantrum at bay - the restaurant staff are dealing with the 15th toddler of the day... And to them, an 18-month old running around and being noisy and unpredictable is annoying in the extreme. As the parent of the individual child, you probably can't quite appreciate how much.

^^ and this.

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