AIBU to think that this restaurant/Pub shouldn't really refer to itself a "family friendly"

[1Catherine1]

Yesterday, my fiance a I went to a hotel/pub/restaurant place with our daughter who is 18 months old. We went to check the place out as it has quite a nice wedding package.

The part we were in was quite empty and apart from the the table of 4 who were in the same room but around the corner and about 10 foot away, the whole area was empty.

My daughter started getting restless so to amuse her I stood up and bounced her on my hip, tickled her, played peekaboo and let her on the floor to run around where there was nobody (well out of view of the other table - she ran the other way). The only noise that anyone could hear was the noise of my daughter laughing.

A few minutes later, when my daughter was sat on my hip again and I was bouncing her again a woman from the pub came over and informed us they "this is a restaurant" and the behaviour was unacceptable and if we didn't stop we would have to leave. I was so taken back by this I conformed and sat down with her, and put my DD on the breast to stop her making any noise. When my meal arrived, I ate it quickly and was desperate to leave.

AIBU to think that the noise of an 18 month old giggling in an establishment that welcomes families shouldn't be "unacceptable"? I'm also surprised at myself. Thinking back I really think I should have just picked up my daughter and left and not waited for the food. Especially as the woman spent the rest of our time there nipping out and blatantly checking if we were finished - it was like she couldn't get us out of the door quick enough.

Maybe I'm too used to my fiance's hotel, his boss (the owner) loves children so loves nothing more than to hear them happy.

I can't believe anyone would object to someone playing peekaboo with an 18mth old either - certainly no one in this thread has.
I have though seen sensible people explaining that it is unreasonable to allow a toddler to run round when hot food and drinks are being served.

sassh objected to it, just a few posts up. Apparently it doesn't happen in the rest of Europe .

I saw that post, I interpreted that as an observation rather than a criticism.

FutThe, your own second post in this thread used the phrase "allowing kids to disturb other diners comfort". As laughing appears to be OK by you now, perhaps you want to clarify what counts as your red lines for disturbing other diners?

Sauvignon, I think that's a rather generous interpretation. It's quite tricky to read sassh's comment as not meaning that it's a Bad Thing to playing peekaboo in public.

Why are you all focusing on the "laughing" child? It was the child allowed to run freely round the restaurant that the staff objected to, iifc?
And math, when were you last in Ireland? You'd get plenty of cats bums if you allow toddlers to career around restaurants there too.
It's a health and safety issue, not a "we hate kids" thing.

Uhmm kids running around in a restaurant tends to disturb other diners comfort and relaxation

FutThe, I know you think a child running around is a problem - or even being up from the table unless there's a garden, according to a previous post of yours. I can't tell whether you think laughter is a problem now. Seems like you're saying it's not.

Flogging, the OP gives us no information about what specifically the staff objected to. It could have been the noise, being on the floor, something else entirely, or some mix. And other posters have said that noise is unacceptable and that quietness is laudable. So that's why I mentioned laughter. I have previously mentioned children on the floor, if that helps.

In my experience of working in several restaurants, "Family Friendly" means there are high chairs, babyfood warmers, children's menus and usually a separate play area.

It does not mean your kids are entitled to run around disturbing other customers and being a general nuisance. The staff member was quite right to speak up, as they obviously felt it was necessary for the comfort of the other customers, and the safety of staff walking around with trays of food and drinks. Take it from me, a waiter/waitress has a hard enough time carting big heavy hot trays around without worrying about bloody kids running into them. Its a restaurant not a creche.

I have no problem with children laughing and talking, it's nice to hear. I would object to a child being allowed to scream though. Children should not be allowed to run around, it's a health and safety hazard.

It's horrible with an 18 month old though. Either you pin them into a highchair then they scream and disturb everyone, or you let them run around (a little) then sit down when their food comes. Ideally of course, there is somewhere you can take them out for a bit to run off their energy before they sit down to eat. Assuming they will, at all, be interested in eating when the food comes...

The OP says DD was running about in an empty area and not getting in anyone's way. I must say I have done this with my own kids and never had a complaint. Of course we only have the story from the OP's side, but I would say that it doesn't sound terribly child friendly.

To me child friendly is not just having all the facilities but about the attitude of the staff.

Reminded me for some reason of going on holiday with my parents when I was 6. The hotel allowed children but not under 8 so I had to pretend I was 8 for the fortnight .

^Why are you all focusing on the "laughing" child? It was the child allowed to run freely round the restaurant that the staff objected to, iifc? hmm
And math, when were you last in Ireland? You'd get plenty of cats bums if you allow toddlers to career around restaurants there too. It's a health and safety issue, not a "we hate kids" thing.^

As I said earlier in the thread, winding up an 18 month old isn't sensible and I don't think it would go down well anywhere. I can't tell from the OP whether she was winding up her child or if the peek a boo game was being done quietly. I don't know the child and I don't know how she was responding -- obviously (to me anyway) loud and continuous peals of laughter wouldn't be what a sensible parent would be aiming for in a restaurant, and if I thought a child would respond this way to peek a boo then I would choose some other way to make time pass quickly while awaiting food.

Tickling is just foolish and nobody should do it to a child in a restaurant, even a 'child friendly' one.

Allowing a child to leave his or her seat and wander around, even just to walk, is never on as I think I said earlier, and this would be true anywhere.

My comment about Ireland and the US referred more to children and babies being given the benefit of the doubt, an 'innocent until they prove otherwise' attitude. I think in the UK you are more likely to find children being greeted with suspicion right from the getgo.

Italic fail...

at the poster who said you wouldn't get this attitude in Ireland. I remember getting a wallop a few times for not behaving in restaurants. taught me to sit down and shut up pretty quick!

I remember reading several rave reviews of a fish restaurant when I was on holiday in a cottage in Ireland.

We trekked out to it only to find 2 big signs outside saying 'No Children', I wasn't happy.

Well my local gastropub, in a middle class London suburb full of families, has a sign outside saying "Dogs and well behaved children welcome". Seriously. Makes the pecking order plain doesn't it? All dogs are welcome, killer pit bulls and restraining orders no probs, but kids are treated with suspicion right from the start, as a poster above says.

Sorry, but family friendly means means expect a bit of noise, even expect a bit of loud but-swiftly-dealt-with noise. An 18 month old will not sit still and silent for the duration of a meal so if you advertise your pub or restaurant as such you have to suck that up. Running's a different matter though as it is dangerous.

'Family friendly' means:

They have a license which allows children to come in with parents if they are purchasing a meal.
They have a children's menu.
Other customers know that there will be an extra level of noise due to children/families being there.
Families know they don't have to keep their children silent.
There might be a 'play area' in the beer garden.
They might have crayons/colouring pictures to hand out.
The waiting staff will make your child feel special by talking to them as individuals and regard them as 'baggage' like your coats, bags and shopping would be.

It does NOT mean:

You can let your kids run around.
Other customers won't mind if your kid runs squealing up to their table.
You can act as though you are at a playground.
It's just like a wacky warehouse.
Everyone loves your kids.

I'm a waitress in a busy restaurant and come across this situation a lot. I love nothing more than seeing families out enjoying a lovely meal but for the love of god keep your children in their seats!! So many times I have almost tripped over toddlers left to crawl around on the floor - and by the way at least 2 glasses a week are smashed on our floors and even though the place is cleaned every morning there is likely to be shards missed. Also if you do take children to restaurants take something to entertain them - obvious I know - but so many people don't and bored children ruin meals for other guests.