"There's nothing to eat in this house!" - DS17 complains

[flow4]

Apparently there is "nothing to eat" and I am "vindicktive" because I won't give DS(17) money for a kebab and I'm "leaving him with no T and in a foul mood". (The swearing and nasty verbal abuse he's given me are evidence of that ).

We have in our cupboards/freezer, right now: pasta (spaghetti, fusilli and macaroni), rice, bread, flour, cereal (tho no milk cos he drank it all), pizza bases, eggs, cheese, tins of beans and tomatoes, veg sausages, veg burgers, onions, courgettes, mushrooms, toms, apples, pears, tinned tuna and sardines... Not to mention the nuts, lentils, chickpeas, etc... And more...

Oh, and I did make tea - a veg/tofu stir-fry with rice - and saved him some although he wasn't home, which he has now eaten...

But he "wants to eat something that doesn't look like it comes out of a rabbit's arse" (i.e. veggie food=rabbit droppings)

He wanted a kebab, bacon, crisps, biscuits, a ready meal... Something junky, basically.

I didn't want to buy him a kebab partly because we have plenty of food in, partly because I think junk food is a waste of money, but largely because he was being rude.

I think he's being unreasonable, probably because he's hungry... But am I also BU not to buy him a kebab? And more generally, AIBU -

• to expect him to make himself something out of what we have in the cupboards?
• not to keep a constant supply of snacks/junk food in the house?
• to expect him to be polite when he asks me for money, even if he's hungry?

Honestly though in all seriousness. I really think people are underestimating how much teenage blokes need high density protein. Really. Its a need.

What absolute rubbish. Firstly, that teenage boys (yes, that's boys not blokes) need some unimaginable amount of protein just to function normally. Secondly, the inference that this can only be obtained by meat, when the OP has a whole load of other protein sources in her kitchen.

AmberLeaf - I eat meat too, but I would never dream of shouting at someone for not providing me with a meal that contained meat. Humans don't actually need meat to meet their nutritional requirements. It's a want.

Right. I have reviewed the entire thread again. I apologise for the 'sandles' comment which was a joke that obviously fell flat. However, I stand by everything else I said. I note other posters with teen boys agree they 'need' meat and plenty of it.

There is a very serious issue here.

Human beings that live on vegetarian diets have to be extremely careful about meeting their dietry requirements. As ever wikipedia is a quick handy summmary of deficiency in a vegetarian diet. A fast growing young man who probably is not being especially careful about his diet may very well be suffering malnutrition in certain key areas.

His extreme reaction is obviously unacceptable but also points to an extreme desire and even a craving for dietry components that meat provides.

I apologise to vegetarians who may be offended by my comments but I do find that vegetarian friends (who I am very happy to cater for) are often quite blind to the risks of a strict vegetarian diet - most especially when they impose it on their children.

The three men who I know who had been vegetarian for many years all say that they had a sudden unconcious 'need' to eat meat.

flow4 - I strongly urge you to sit down with your son and agree with him how to put more meat in his diet in the home. College food and junk food will not provide what he needs. Yes of course he should apologise but please also go half way. You cannot force him to be vegetarian. It really is not fair and may even damage his health.

Morebeta I asked the chaps I work with today about how happy they would have been at 17 if their Mum had served up a big nutritious bowl of tofu stirfry for their dinner and you would not believe the answers I got. But they were 100% on the side of DS. So if you they all want to believe that OP is righteous thats fine but the y-chromosomed ones would differ. (apart from all the mountaineering, non-sandal wearing, totally fit relatives of the posters here).

So your colleagues think it's perfectly fine and acceptable to verbally abuse one's mother like that,MrsMinerva. I can see how much respect their opinions warrant.

I also apparently missed the part in the OP's post where her son's hands had been lopped off so that he was unable to prepare his own meal.

mrsminerva - not at all surprised. This really is a 'man' thing and at 17 I am afraid tofu really would have been a starter before the meat course.

Yes, the OP's DS' body was clearly telling him he needed a kebab with all its big, manly amino-acids.....
A high protein diet is very unhealthy.
MoreBeta are you in a bolshy mood today?
DH has a male friend who has NEVER eaten meat - his parents are Budhists.
He has another male friend who converted to being a vegan in his late teens.

Ridiculous. I was living on my own at 17, with a job and my own food.

Tell him to grow up.

Tell him when he has learned to speak to you politely and with respect,then you might listen to him. In the meantime,introduce him to either the toaster or the front door

Is it also a man thing to talk to one's mother in such an arrogant,entitled twuntish manner?

Also, MoreBeta , really? You REALLY believe that?

Any nutritionist will tell you that that is utter bs.

Of the vegetarians I know, more than half are male. And most have been committed to it for decades.

As for it being DS's choice if he wants to eat meat - I agree - once he moves out and begins to buy and prepare his own food, he can eat what he likes. Until then - nope. He is 17, old enough to buy his own food if he doesn't like the meals provided for him.

If you believe that meat-eating is bad for the planet, immoral, or just plain disgusting, you should hardly be required to pay for it or prepare it. Or even, really, to have to allow it in your home.

OP, I hope by now you have dismissed any worries that you were being even the tiniest bit U!

Tofu is considered by Patrick Holford the expert (male) nutritionist to be and "excellent" source of protein - along with quinoa by the way, which has all the amino acids found in animal protein.

Swap dp for ds. Still acceptable behaviour?

His extreme reaction is obviously unacceptable but also points to an extreme desire and even a craving for dietry components that meat provides.

Interesting cyber-diagnosis, there. I would have thought it pointed to an extreme desire to be an ass-hat.

Haven't you heard of kebabophiles and their compulsion to consume junk food in the middle of the night, brdgrl? Apparently it drives them to have hissy-fits (what with them being so manly) :o

It still remains that they would have been horrified by such a meal at the end of the day. That's what they said, not me. If I had a tofu stirfry I would like it if it had spices and flavour but the guys were unimpressed.
I am not for abuse from kids either, I have 2 of my own, but they have been scathing about whats in the fridge and my cooking before now too, and it hurts, but they have their POV and maybe I was being a bit blinkered in my cooking choices too.
And "wants to eat something that doesn't look like it comes out of a rabbit's arse" is quite funny TBH.

"His extreme reaction is obviously unacceptable but also points to an extreme desire and even a craving for dietry components that meat provides"

Or q craving for the dietary components that kebabs provide!

He called his mother a bitch. It doesn't matter how much he was craving kebabs. There is no excuse for calling your mother a bitch.

It's not funny at all,unless you're about five.
He'd have been wearing the stir fry if I'd been his mother,and he could buy and make his own food,until he learned to show some respect.

I can't believe that people think this is an acceptable way to speak to anyone.People seem far more interested in his 'rights' than the incredibly crass and arrogant way in which he treated the OP. There is no excuse whatsoever for speaking to people like that.

Rabbit droppings look like raisins.
I don't think it's possible to crave fat. Sugar and salt yes.
How would people describe a takeaway kebab? Apart from grey?
The meat looks quite like recycled newspaper IMO.

All this half-witted guffawing along the lines of real men don't eat meat and tofu is just rabbit food heurgh heurgh heurgh is tiresome and right out of the 70s book of jokes that no-one finds funny anymore.

At 17 I had been preparing my own and family meals for years.

Having a penis doesn't prevent you from switching on the grill/microwave/oven (or whatever) and preparing your own food.

Oh, banana bubbles, come and live on my planet, where teenagers and their parents treat each other with love and respect, anddiscuss important issues. And where mothers don't pander to their sons so that they become the subjects of MIL from hell/selfish git of a partner threads in 10 years time.

Human beings that live on vegetarian diets have to be extremely careful about meeting their dietry requirements.

Not really. It's actually quite simple to meet your nutritional requirements if you understand where your food groups come from.

His extreme reaction is obviously unacceptable but also points to an extreme desire and even a craving for dietry components that meat provides.

I think I'll go with brdgrl's alternative hypothesis there.

I apologise to vegetarians who may be offended by my comments but I do find that vegetarian friends (who I am very happy to cater for) are often quite blind to the risks of a strict vegetarian diet

And I apologise to meat eaters who may be offended by my comments but I do find that meat eating friends (who I am very happy to cater for) are often quite blind to the risks of a strict meat eating diet.

The three men who I know who had been vegetarian for many years all say that they had a sudden unconcious 'need' to eat meat.

And the three men I know who have been vegetarian for many years are all far fitter and healthier than meat eaters of their age :-)

flow4 - I strongly urge you to sit down with your son and agree with him how to put more meat in his diet in the home. College food and junk food will not provide what he needs. Yes of course he should apologise but please also go half way. You cannot force him to be vegetarian. It really is not fair and may even damage his health.

The OP is not forcing him to be vegetarian Have you actually even read the OP? There is tuna and sardines in the cupboard for a start.

By the way MoreBeta the op does not "stop" her son eating meat, which she's explained several times.

The issue is the way he treats his mum. Calling her a bitch and demanding she feeds him or gets him a takeaway at one in the morning? That's out of order.

Unless of course you believe the role of mother is interchangeable with that of doormat/domestic slave - which I'm sure you don't.

But OPs 17 year old DS is not a happy bunny. Has this improved or is he still being unhappy, we need an update?