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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"they were only sick once, so I sent them in" - Aibu that this drives me mad?

80 replies

Molehillmountain · 16/10/2012 14:00

Just because the child in question was only sick once, it doesn't mean it's not a bug, and if it is then they're more than likely spreading it around. The number of times I hear this from sensible people is unbelievable. A bit sore about it today as this is day two of my fifteen month old having a vomiting bug (we're at home and have cancelled plans).

OP posts:
safflower · 16/10/2012 14:03

YANBU - very selfish to send children in. 48 hours post vomit at earliest.

Original poster
Molehillmountain · 16/10/2012 14:05

Thing is, I genuinely think they do think once is okay. And the other thing they say is "well they we're sick last night but they're right as rain today".

OP posts:
SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 16/10/2012 14:06

YANBU at all. Drives me up the wall too.

Restrainedrabbit · 16/10/2012 14:06

I feel your pain, all three of mine were v'ing yesterday eve- my eldest was only sick once so I have kept her off yet it is clearly still a bug.

Original poster
Molehillmountain · 16/10/2012 14:09

The only thing I think is fair enough sometimes is if they already have a cough and it's clear they were sick from over coughing, iyswim. You know, if people's children are around mine with active bugs I'd actually rather not know, strangely. I can't behave normally when there's a child with a tummy bug running around with mine, or worse inside playing with toys together.

OP posts:
TheLazyGirl · 16/10/2012 14:10

Yep, pees me right off too- if my DS gets it, he then gets secondary illnesses and gets very ill, meaning nightmare nights and days for me and his Dad. I hate when you hear kids with that awful barking cough that sounds like they're about to be sick and yet they are still dragged to school. That also irritates DS.

Ignorant lazy people they should take their germ ridden kids to the Doctors and look after them instead of inflicting it on the rest of our DCs.

allthefun · 16/10/2012 14:11

I'm sorry but I don't know any children who haven't been sick/tummy bug at least once in their childhood and I've known lots.

YABU to think you would be the first.

expatinscotland · 16/10/2012 14:11

Extremely selfish.

jam17 · 16/10/2012 14:12

It is irritating! Especially my friend who rang in tears sunday, saaying she might take her DS to hospital sunday, yet he was in school monday....

BUT.... my DS (14mo) was sent home on wednesday afternoon because he was sick after lunch. 48 hours off means he couldn't go in until the following monday. As soon as I got him home on weds he was fine, and think he'd just eaten too much.

If they know their children, like I know my DS, I knew he waas fine and it was a pain in the backside taking three days off. But People who send ill children in because they need to go into work are also BU! Depends on the situation!

financialwizard · 16/10/2012 14:13

YANBU

Most school policies mean that a child cannot come into school for 48 hours after the last incident of being sick. The amount of parents that ignore that is amazing.

quoteunquote · 16/10/2012 14:14

YANBU, selfish lazy irresponsible horrible crap parents, can't stand them.

jam17 · 16/10/2012 14:14

Just remembered when my friend bought her DD over, who was sick EVERYWHERE (tuna for lunch, I nearly vomitted when she was clearing it up). After she finished clearing up, they statyed and played! I didn't know what to do, felt rude telling her to get out but didn't want my DS getting infected!

toysoldiers · 16/10/2012 14:14

Well, I hold my hands up. I have done this.

But DS has a tendency to be sick if he coughs a lot in the night so I know very well it's not a cough.

Also, DS1 has had a cough for 6 weeks now - doctor says it's viral. He has no other symptoms and does not feel ill.

Are you seriously telling me he should have missed 6 weeks of school?

Mrscoghoul · 16/10/2012 14:15

I think most of the time YANBU - however, in some situations such as if a child has overeaten lots of sweet/rich food, run around, got overhyped etc.etc. and is then sick once in an evening, no other signs of illness - esp diorreha (sp!)/temperature and are absolutetly fine the next day then I think it is ok to use sensible judgement.

elliejjtiny · 16/10/2012 14:17

YANBU I hate that. DS2 had the runs last night horrendously and was then fine afterwards but we aren't going to toddler group today because that's the right thing to do. I can never remember when they aren't contagious anymore though, is it 24 hours for just the runs and 48 hours for vomit or the other way round. Am hoping it will be ok to go to hv appointment tomorrow but of course if its 48 hours we won't go.

PeggyCarter · 16/10/2012 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

80sMum · 16/10/2012 14:19

Children vomit quite readily for various reasons and are very often fine afterwards. One isolated episode doesn't mean it's a bug necessarily.
However, if it is known that a bug is going around the nursery or school, then best to err on the side of caution and keep the child away.

Woozley · 16/10/2012 14:22

DD1 (7) was sick on Sunday night at 10pm. I kept her off school yesterday, but as she felt better after she had has breakfast, ate normal food all day and said she felt really well, so she went to school today. Had she been sick yesterday or had even not been sick but had otherwise been unwell or not eating properly I would certainly have kept her at home today as well.

It is really impossible not to pass bugs and viruses around though as most things are infectious before you have any symptoms. The best you can do is wash your hands enough and get your child to do the same.

lunar1 · 16/10/2012 14:23

YANBU, schools are partly to blame though due to this ridiculous obsession with rewarding 100% attendance.

dreamingbohemian · 16/10/2012 14:27

I really think it depends. As 80s says, kids vomit for all kinds of reasons, and it's not always easy for parents to take off work and stay home. If you know your child and know it's 99 percent sure to be a one-off and not from a bug, losing 2 days pay is really hard.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 16/10/2012 14:28

Its to do with society in general though. Its not entirely down to the parent being selfish. Schools harass you if your dcs are absent. Employers have no sympathy if you have to stay home to mind sick children. Lots of people dont get paid if they dont work.
There is so much pressure on parents to send their kids in. Personally, Im over cautious, and used to keep the dcs home sometimes when they could have gone in, but some people feel that they have to send them.

Lonecatwithkitten · 16/10/2012 14:29

If DD vomits just once it is usually associated with a migraine and is easy to differentiate as it is true projectile vomiting with no nausea or retching before hand. School are aware of this and are happy to accept her back in these cases. If she is nauseous, retching or vomits more than once then I keep her off.
So you could have heard me say in the playground well she only vomited once, but to a mum who knows about the migraines and understands my reasoning. Though the entire class knows now after one of them innocently surprised DD whilst she had a migraine causing a sudden projectile vomit all over the teacher!

Original poster
Molehillmountain · 16/10/2012 14:30

Most stomach bugs are not contagious until the vomiting starts and then they stay infectious afterwards. It's different with colds and flu which are more contagious before symptoms but still are afterwards too. That's why the 48 hour rule would actually prevent a lot of sickness bugs being transmitted.

OP posts:
ATourchOfInsanity · 16/10/2012 14:31

I have this problem with a friend in RL. Her son was really unwell on his b.day (snot running down his face, cough and really grumpy and tired) and instead of letting people know she just pretended he wasn't ill! Everyone commented on his snotty nose as soon as they arrived and his coughing was terrible. She insisted on continuing with the party ("oh it's just a bit of a blocked nose") and so all of our kids got the same thing. I do not find this OK - she has a very caring partner who does all of the cleaning/cooking/bathing/bedtime and mornings for her DS and she regularly sleeps in until midday on weekends. I am a single mum, and if my DD is up all night ill it is just me. It is such selfish behaviour and really makes me Angry.
Same friend said that if her DS was ill she simply wouldn't tell his nursery "because, you know, they might not let him go!" oh shock horror! They might be thinking of the other children! Sorry, bit ranty about this as pretty sure we caught the same vomiting bug as OP just last week from this woman Sad although she would never admit it. We however, stayed home all weekend to make sure we didn't pass it on.

kekouan · 16/10/2012 14:33

Well, I've kept DS off today because he had diarrhea this morning, but he's absolutely fine now, eating loads (says he's starving which is a good sign) and he's begging to go to school tomorrow. Tempted to send him in really as I reckon its something he ate rather than a bug, but I'll play it by ear.