to have told MIL to go fuck herself?

[ellargh]

DD was very ill last night. She had been unwell for 2 days but last night her temperature spiked, she was in a lot of pain with her throat and was in and out of sleep all day. I decided to call the OOH surgery who told me to get up there at 11:30pm. We have no car and no money until next week so had to ring about for help.

My dad had had a few drinks so couldn't and my only other family that drives is my grandad who was in bed. DPI phoned soon to be MIL as she lives a few streets away and both her and FILL are teetotal. She said she didn't want to then seemed to come around and asked "Who will be going?" DP said me and she said no then he said he would go instead. I am fed up of her shit she dislikes me for no reason and has the 5 years DP and I have been together. She has a reason now though as I shouted "Oh tell her to go fuck herself then".

DD ended up at the OOH after my sister sent us in a taxi to her house then back up to the OOH to lend me £20.

DP said I could have worded it differently but it's just what he didn't have the balls to say but now DP's sister is threatening me and apparently within 12 hours it's got around his aunties and uncles who now dislike me :/

Sorry this is long but I didn't want to drip feed. MIL and I don't get on but when it comes to a favour for her 4 year old GD surely it's not fair?

I think the thing that hurts is that everyone from DP's former girlfriends to his friends say how lovely she is and I'm sitting here like why are me and my gorgeous innocent daughters not worthy of your love and time? It feels vicious even though it's very passive :(

If anybody needed a lift to a doctor or hospital i wouldn't give a shinny shit what time it was.

expats i am gob smacked by the way you have been treated by family members, especially when caring for your daughter :( I am so sorry for your loss.

And like cocolepew said, nasty old folk are just nasty young folk who aged. Fuck making allowances for age.

It would be so much easier to say I'm a horrible person who has never wanted her in our lives and has used every opportunity to want to fight her and call her a cunt. I could understand it then but as it goes while I may be opinionated and confident I am not a horrible or malicious person and DP has even said he sees nothing wrong with anything I've doneor said apart from the fuck off bit as I could have just said not to bother.

NonnoMum i have reported your thread. WTF has Karen Matthews got to do with this thread.

Well Nonnomum she did say she didn't want to at first and then seemed to come round. What kind of grandmother needs coaching to take her sick grandchild to doctors? One this family can manage without it would seem.

Expat, i can't imagine how that must have felt:(

My mum called me to complain my sister wanted her to go with her to great olmond street with her dd re spine issues, and mum said no on account of leaving the cat alone all day. I put her straight and she went. However, said sister refused to collect me from hospital after mc as she had to cook her dp dinner ( even though he told her to drop everything, I heard him) so there you go.

Ell argh, your wedding plans seem very sensible:)

Nonno
The child was very ill.
What type of grandparent decides whether she will drive them to get urgent medical care because she would prefer to go with her son.
Sometimes people seem to regress and become very childish as they get older.
YANBU Op - hope your DD is feeling better.
Expat - I really dont know what to say - other than im so sorry xxx

Nonno a grandmother who only agrees to drive her sick granddaughter to the hospital with the caveat that the child's mother cannot come does deserve the title of grandmother.

But please feel free to focus on the OPs manners during a moment of stress instead.

Thank you for reporting me.
I was making an analogy that the OP might be a perfect mother or might not be. For this comparison I used Karen Matthews as a name in the media who has been found wanting in her parenting skills.
I hope the OP is a wonderful, lovely person. But I don't know that. All I know was that when she was under pressure (to get her daughter to an OOH Drs) she told an old lady to "Go Fuck yourself".
I was bringing something else to thread as to WHY the old lady might not leap to help the mother of her grandchild on a cold, late evening.

Nonnomum don't start with the little old lady rubbish-they aint all nice.
Comparing Op to km is somewhat disturbing!

'old lady', 'cold, late evening', all very emotive language.

Not as emotive though as 'No I won't take your sick child to hospital if I have to bring you too'

What on earth difference does it make as to whether the OP is Theworldsperfectmother or not
Her little girl was very poorly and the GM started playing silly manipulative games "who is going " rather than thinking of the little one who was ill.

I don't believe my manners toward a woman who has made clear her dislike of me and then proceeds to put conditions on her help toward a 4 year-old girl has any relation to my parenting abilities.

But I agree that you have no idea who I am and I could be the world's batshit craziest mother who lets her child get seriously ill before deciding to look at my provisional drivers license with tears in my eyes thinking about my clearly neglectful past and bothering my MIL who I've been a cow to just to tell her to go fuck herself.

My MIL is not old. She is 51. I don't think most people class 51 as an old lady.

A 'little old lady' on a 'cold evening'

Get a grip! The child could have been seriously ill but this little old lady you speak off didn't give a flying fuck. And what has cold got to do with it? Don't we have clothes and heated cars?

No need to explain yourself op.
Quite cleary, your mil is the one who is completely stir crazy & very, very selfish!

my own mother is 50 and got 13 grandchildren.

If she found out that i took out the well child to an OOH appoinment for the unwell child she would be have a few choice words to say to me for dragging them out when she is only a phonecall away.

Actually, I would take this as an opportunity to never talk to her again in my life, if I were you.

I can forgive many things, but when gps put their own pettiness above children's needs, my inner angry lioness gets unleashed and woe is anyone who gets in the way!

By the sound of it, you just shouted out in anxiety and temper. She sounds like a mean spirited old bag. Of course, you shouldn't swear blah blah blah but, honestly, she did have it coming. Forgive yourself.

I take it all back.

Your soon-to-be MiL is a crazy lady who dislikes you for no reason.

The aunties and uncles must be deluded for feeling defensive and disgruntled towards how their sister was spoken to.

You win. I agree with everything you say.

Don't EVER try and see things from someone else's point of view. Don't EVER think about things from another perspective. Don't EVER consider that you might have approached a situation differently if it presented itself to you again.

Criticise EVERYONE (including your partner - oh, you have done). Never ever question yourself.

I truly hope your DD gets well soon.

It was definitely anxiety and temper due to the situation. I wouldn't call her to borrow £10 and if she refused tell her to go fuck herself. It was very much about the situation at hand and not related to how I feel about her or how I have felt about her in the past. I mentioned the backstory so as not to drip feed but would have said the sane if my father had done the sane iyswim

Have I criticised my partner? I don't think I have. I have said that he sees my point of view and supports me but still doesn't like upsetting his very much loved mother.

And if she's not a perfect mother or is a crap mother, all the more reason to go and pick up the granddaughter and get her to the hospital. The MIL didn't want to then agreed and then said she wouldn't if it was the OP. Of course it may be all a tissue of lies and the OP is in fact a witch who put a spell on her partner's entire family. Of course it's only one side of the story. It's always one side of the story.