Would you give up your seat on a crowded train

[akaemmafrost]

During rush hour, for a child, say between the ages of 5 and 11?

I would and have. It's just a discussion I was having today and I thought I would put it to MN.

Yes, I have. It was a long train journey, delayed, and he and his mum were standing. I sat for half the journey and gave up my seat for the (as it turned out longer) 2nd part of the journey as I felt it was unfair for them to stand for 2.5 hours. I had envisaged them swapping - the DS was too big to sit on his mum's knee, but the DS had the seat for the rest of the journey. The mum was quite surprised.

The able bodied adult may have been watching day time tv all day how are we to know. And work is't that hard unless you work in a very physical job. I'd say your average office worker could do with streatching their legs at the end of the day.

I don't see that just because a child's ticket is cheaper they should stand up, by that logic if you book a ticket 3 months in advance and get a good deal you should stand up for anyone who has an expensive flexi ticket.

I definatly think that all people adults or children should stand up for elderly people, disabled people and pregnant women but I would personally never take a seat offered to me by a child.

p.s. pregnant people who don't look pregnant, get the Baby on Board badge straight away if you need it! Email babyonboard at tfl dot gov dot uk

Nope, never would stand for a child; used to always stand for women, but now do for elderly women and men, pregnant women, and woman with kids.

Generally? Women can stand, just like men.

I guess this is one of those topics where agreement will never be reached. Personally though, I would be ashamed of my failings as a parent if my child didn't immediately give up her seat for an adult. And like it or not I will judge a child who doesn't as rude and bad mannered.

Beyond that there's nothing else to say really.

Yes, I like to think I would for a younger child. Perhaps not for a child getting towards 11, I think they'd be safe standing.

I had to use the train once, I think it was last year (it was full of commuters, rush hour). I had four year old twins and was carrying two year old dd. We were the only people standing but nobody offered a seat.

I found it rather interesting to observe, and sad on reflection. We were only on for a five minute journey, just one stop, thankfully.

MrsBovary, that is sad. I'd definitely offer a seat to someone carrying a small child (in fact, don't trains and tubes have that as a category in the 'please give your seat to ...' rules?

Not so very different to someone 'carrying' a child in the sense of being pregnant, as far as I can see, and I think ? hope ? most people would offer a seat to a pregnant woman.

Like others I was always made to give up my seat for an adult when I was a child, and I plan to make my child do the same. Currently he's 2.2 and we travel on the tube pretty regularly. I fold up the pushchair and put it under the folding seats, and then if there are adults standing I get my DS to sit on my lap so that the two of us plus pushchair are only taking up one seat. However my DS has had a tantrum the last couple of times I've put him on my lap as he likes having his own seat. I am reluctant to give in to the tantrum but then again on a crowded tube train no one wants to hear a toddler tantrum. I suppose the solution would be for me to get up and let him sit on my seat and leave the other seat free for another adult - but then why should I effectively stand for another able-bodied adult? The last time I was on the tube we were sitting next to each other and there were no free seats but no one standing when a pregnant woman got on. I made DS sit on my lap and put up with the tantrum - the poor pregnant lady felt rather guilty!

Mrskbpw I have to confess to doing your pet hate of sitting on an aisle seat and not moving up. Sitting by the window and having someone sitting next to me makes me feel really claustrophobic and panic.

I wouldn't give up my seat for anyone because I have panic attacks on crowded public transport and the only thing that helps prevent them is to sit down and completely absorb myself in the paper or my phone to block out as much of the rest of the carriage as I can. I probably look rude and like I'm trying to pretend that I haven't seen the pregnant woman/elderly person/disabled person but actually I'm trying to pretend that everyone isn't there. There have been times where my tube has terminated early and I've had to just leave the station, find a pub and ring my DP to come and meet me to calm me down and wait with me until the tube has quietened down.

No, I think children should stand up for adults. I will have my child either on my knee or standing when he is big enough, that's always the way it was when I was a child and I still think the same way.

Having said that if a mother got on and she had lots of bags or more than one child and was struggling I would give her the seat.

Incidentally when I was pregnant (and I was HUGE, I had polyhydraminos and measured 55 weeks pregnant by the time I gave birth and measured 40 weeks by 29 weeks) only one person got their child to stand up for me despite me obviously being in discomfort and having difficulty standing. In fact it was very rare anybody gave me a seat at all even though it was clear I was pregnant.

I was brought up to give up my seat as a child if an adult got on and there wasn't a seat, and I have done the same with my children. I would expect them to stand if there was an adult who had no seat, especially if elderly.

To my mind, an elderly person is much more likely to be injured if they fall on a bus or a train, children have a lower centre of gravity!!!

Babies are a bit different, because a mum with baby does need a seat, likewise with toddlers, it can be difficult without a seat. But age 5-11, as specified in OP should be fine standing!

Children (able bodied) should stand for adults, not the other way round.

Adults pay for tickets and on balance could do with a sit down more.

And more importantly it teaches children to think about other people and not to grow up with an entitled, 'world revolves about me', lazy attitude.

BridgetBidet
Same thing happened to me when I was pregnant (many years ago).
I recommend either throwing up or fainting.

Works like a charm

I'm not sure it is a child vs adult thing of who can hang on most easily - more that people who don't ride the tube frequently aren't so used to the motion of the train - and parents in this scenario overestimate the risk of going flying. I regularly see small kids on the tube not holding on and/or running around the carriage (obviously not in rush hour), without going flying.

While they may be free on the tube, you do have to pay for children aged 5 and over on trains.

I'm not sure that, by default, adults "need to sit down more". Indeed, a lot of those who have been sitting down all day at their desks could do with putting the weight on their feet, and taking a bit of exercise. So as I said, at the lower end of that age scale, I would give up a seat for a child, as they may well get flung about, or just want to sit near their parent, which is fair enough I think.

GoSakuramachi I presume that it is I to whom you are referring with the comments? (self centred,bad mannered,selfish and entitled,with pampered kids)

Hopefully I am wrong in that.

You see if I'm not,I find resorting to name calling when someone offers a different view point very bad mannered,when that someone has made no personal attack on you.

I have exhaustively stated that if someone is not able bodied then they should get priority.

I am merely stating that I think my small childrens needs are greater than an able bodied adults needs when it comes to being seated on crowded public transport.I say this because I think it is safer for them.Not because they are pampered.

This is my view, which I am allowed despite your very obvious objections.

Coprolite
I am merely stating that I think my small childrens needs are greater than an able bodied adults needs when it comes to being seated on crowded public transport.I say this because I think it is safer for them.Not because they are pampered.

... and I presume you would have no issue with people thinking you were a bit PFB?

I also wonder how you determine an able-bodied adult. I look exactly the same now, as I did when I had a very trick knee, which used to give way regularly. I might not have asked you to shift PFB, but it would have been kind of you to do so.

I would certainly have judged you for it, but mostly, I'm a big wuss who doesn't like to cause a fuss.

I would suggest that a child is at greater risk of injury in a car, strapped into a carseat, than standing up on a bus, but we don't seem to bat an eyelid about that....

I think the answer to that OneMoreChap is that I am no more able than anyone else to judge who has a disability or health condition. But it goes both ways - the 'sittee' could have an unseen condition also.

We could all just be on trains giving each other catsbum faces judging each other or we could communicate.

I don't want a full breakdown of someone's health status just some indication that there may be a need greater than 'I'm an adult therefore I have more of a right to be seated than your child.'

I had a dreadful asthma attack at a train station many years ago.I couldn't carry my luggage and I was alone and really quite stuck.People were really very helpful,but only once I'd demonstrated my need for help - how would/could they know otherwise?

I am a regular London commuter who does the school run with a 5yr old and 9 yr old. Tube and train. Generally my children will stand, if there is a seat I tend to let them sit and stand myself especially the 5 yr old. I have certainly sat the 5yr old on my lap on a crowded bus or train or sat all 3 of us on 2 bus seats.

I would tend to give a small child even 5/6 yrs a seat on a crowded tube because people forcing their way getting on don't see a small child standing simply a gap into which they think they can push. Quite often I have had to point out to people shoving me that that is not a space next to me it is my son but he's too small for you to see him in the crush.

I would give up my seat for a child with SN if they or their parent asked and if I was standing I would expect my children to get up for them.

And yes you have every right to formulate an opinion on me.I have no issue with what people think of me (just when people resort to name calling which isn't the same).

I think I am just doing what I feel is right to keep mine safe as I can,and I'm fine with that.Judge me if you like.

Saying you are selfish and bad mannered is not remotely a personal attack. Especially when you have provided the information that shows you are indeed selfish and bad mannered. These are accurate descriptions of your behaviour.
If you don't like being thought of as selfish and bad mannered, I suggest you change your behaviour, because you can bet that the other paying adults around you are thinking exactly that when you let your children take seats while they stand.

No because I have a hidden disability and can't always stand. If I'm doing a long train journey then I book my seat for this reason x

coprolite I agree with you.