To be annoyed with my husband for getting involved in a domestic and calling police?

[quitepdoff]

I feel so cross with my husband.
We have moved house and thank goodness only renting whilst we are looking for a place.
We have some unsavoury neighbours up the road, lots of domestics.

My husband works away and i do feel vunerable here with the kids.

Last night when he left for work he heard a domestic, said blood curdling screams and saw a woman being dragged out into the road.

He went over. Spoke to them, asked if the woman was ok etc. Then got abuse from her.

Called the police and told them he had done so.

I am furious with him.

I asked him not to get involved before. I understand the woman may have needed help but my arguement is to call the police from round the corner and not let them see you.

What if they had a knife? What if they dont like him or us now?

I feel scared now, am i just being silly?

p.s its the fact i asked him not to do this too, i feel he just doesnt listen to me

Yes. And it's all very well the police responding. But the key word here is responding

The police responded to us when our cat was skinned alive. They responded when my next door neighbour's pet was nailed to the floor of their hutch. They responded when the child opposite was killing ducklings just to enjoy watching them die. They responded when our windows were put through. And when they were put through again before the glazier had turned off the end of the road. They responded alright, but unless they put a 24 hour guard at your door, responding is all they do.

And they need evidence. Which is difficult when the person you saw putting your windows through was in a pub with 20 of his mates all night

I once got vile abuse threatening me with alsorts through my bedroom window. Because my window happened to be open when a couple were walking back from the pub having a massive row. It was already open. It was a warm night. But apparently I was spying on them

So I understand exactly why the OP didn't want her husband to announce that he'd called the police. I am so glad that so many people don't have any experience of that sort of life. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But unfortunately it does mean that you don't truly understand how you have to live in order to survive with your windows, nose and possibly your legs intact!

getting involved yes, but I think also calling he police from around the corner would be my option if they were neighbours. [wimp]

Am appalled that Vicarinatutu is a police person. He/she completely failed basic English comprehension of the OPs original post, as did many others on this thread. I can only conclude that many' holier than thou's on here have never lived anywhere remotely rough. The OP was DNBU to be scared of repercussions from the disfunctional and antisocial family up the road. I would be cross with my DH in these circumstances too as although he did the right thing calling the police he was totally stupid in confronting the animals and telling them this was what he had done.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all OP. He was right to call the police but wrong to put you and your family at risk. As you say all he had to do was go around the corner and call

You're right to be angry, I know exactly the type of people your talking about and fuck this victimhood crap, these are the types that thrive on aggression, aggression toward each other, their children, their neighbours, anyone that comes within 50 feet of them.... they're always looking for a fight. He has put not only himself but you and your children at risk of being targeted for attack. That's completely unacceptable.

It's very easy for people who have never been around people like this to judge you, they aren't going to be faced with a violent bastard (or group of violent bastards) threatening you and your children for your idiot husband 'getting in their business', that's often taken as looking for a fight. You should be raging at him involving his family in this. I once had to put a friend and her newborn up for a while after her moronic partner got involved with his neighbours fighting resulting in their house targeted daily (and nightly) by all the local yobs.

I'd get rid of him to be honet, I wouldn't tolerate someone bringing trouble to my door. Common sense is more important than playing 'hero' to people who don't want to be saved.

I think your husband did a fab job. Ask him why he told them he was calling the police? He'll probably have a valid reason for doing so.

Yanbu for being worried but if you really are worried make steps to protect yourself. Ie cameras, security lights ect.

Why do you think thir will be repocussions? Have other beighbours been attacked? Had their windows smashed for getting involved?

cat woman fuck this victimhood crap Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence?

God. A man does the right thing, calls the police and he is being criticised for his 'masculine pride'. His ego. He is being called 'nasty' now. That is so ridiculous. What a sorry world we live in where a man cannot assist someone ar risk without being criticised in such a horrible way.

His intervention was absolutely laudable and he should be applauded for it. What was NOT laudable was his determination that all those in that house, who had had a go at him for that intervention, should know that he'd called the police on them.

That has nothing to do with wanting to help the woman. Nothing. He'd already intervened and already called the police. He just wanted the last word, despite that putting his wife and kids in the firing line, and despite that being against her expressed wishes.

That part of it is about his ego.

areall
What bothers me is that the OP's DH works away from home so if there are any consequences he won't be the one having to deal with them. He was right to call police but he could have called the police without informing them he had done so.

i would like to apologise. i did hide the thread, but it came back up on a search.

i wont bore you with a long winded excuse other than to say i had a particularly difficult day, i should not come on here when i am feeling out of sorts with the world . im sorry op. i was out of order and i realise i was.

Thanks for the appology, thats forgotton now so appreciate it.
To be honest i think he told them he called the police as he calmed the situation down a bit and wanted to let them know they were on their way due to the brawling and screaming he initially called them.

However i am still cross and upset and jumping at every noise outside. I dont want to go to the shop past the house and am taking my daughter to school tom out the back door. May be ott but thats how its made me feel and i told him i would feel like that if he ever did it, in fact i think i told him i would leave him as i felt so strongly that i didnt want to have to worry about this sort of situation.

Seems it really has divided people and thats fine, we cant all agree and are intitled to our own opinion but thanks again for the words of support from some

AllMen, no I don't go around looking for fights and brawling in the street for sport. You're mistaking aggressive people who enjoy violence as a normal part of life with 'victims', victims are people who are having something done to them that they don't want, domestic or not, female or male. Being a female doesn't automatically make you a victim.

The op and her dc's are quite likely to be genuine victims of violence because of the attention that her idiot husband has brought upon her family from the local thugs. The 'victim' will likely be one of the main aggressors. That's what violent people do.

Op, you are not being ott, you are right to be concerned for the consequences, hopefully there won't be any. Your husbands a dickhead for putting you in this situation. You're the one terrified in your own home. If you can, leave him, any man who endangers his young, vulnerable family like this is undeserving of one.

Let him have one of his supporters from this thread and they can collect their well deserved darwin award together.