To be annoyed with my husband for getting involved in a domestic and calling police?

[quitepdoff]

I feel so cross with my husband.
We have moved house and thank goodness only renting whilst we are looking for a place.
We have some unsavoury neighbours up the road, lots of domestics.

My husband works away and i do feel vunerable here with the kids.

Last night when he left for work he heard a domestic, said blood curdling screams and saw a woman being dragged out into the road.

He went over. Spoke to them, asked if the woman was ok etc. Then got abuse from her.

Called the police and told them he had done so.

I am furious with him.

I asked him not to get involved before. I understand the woman may have needed help but my arguement is to call the police from round the corner and not let them see you.

What if they had a knife? What if they dont like him or us now?

I feel scared now, am i just being silly?

p.s its the fact i asked him not to do this too, i feel he just doesnt listen to me

The way you've written it OP, it sounds like you're saying she's not deserving of help, even if the situation had changed to a much more serious one than just mouthing off.

What if she'd have been stabbed?

Or was so abused in day to day life that she felt she had to 'protect' the man, even if it was a misguided loyalty distorted by the abuse?

They're extreme situations, but not unusual.

I think your DH deserves a medal, not condemnation. Of course he should have intervened.

I don't think OP was saying they should turn a blind eye. I think OP is saying that she would have preferred her DH to have call police anonymously. She is annoyed because 1. Her DH disagreed and 2. She is worried that there will be repercussions for her family because the neighbours are 'unsavoury'...

OP 1.) Your DH has the right to make his own judgement call. He should listen to your view and consider it but ultimately he has to be allowed to do what he thinks is right. 2. I do understand your reluctance to be 'known' to the neighbours as the ones who called the police, but if everyone took that attitude violence would never be addressed. Good that a man dragging his wife about knows that other people- especially another man - finds it totally unacceptable. Good that they know you and your DH are not afraid to do the right thing. And the woman may have reacted as she did out of fear. I bet she's never had someone step in to help before.

Honestly, you should be proud to be with someone who isn't intimidated into closing the door and pretending everything is ok.

I can see your point but he still may have saved her, even if she was an ungrateful druggie..

But I agree he shouldn't have told them (unless he had a specific reason like stopping it sooner rather than later), I've thought twice and not said anything for fear of getting targeted by scrotes.

Of course, 'ungrateful druggies' shouldn't expect any help should they Pony?

I think your hubby acted on his instincts so you can't be too hard on him.

I have lived in bad neighbourhoods though with scarey neighbours so I totally understand why you are scared of reprisal.

The fact that the VICTIM told him to eff off....well there's no helping some people. shrugs

I think the faster you get out of there the better. x

And what has happened to some of the brave people we read about every day who put themselves in this sort of situation and pay the price for it themselves?

Yes, i would have rathered he just called the police and not shown his face and got involved for 15mins!

Yes i am scared now as i am alone for nights on end and feel any repercussions from these unreasonable people.

Nothing about controlling him or what he does but we had a lengthy discussion where i said how vunerable i felt if he were to get involved, how he is a husband and father and should not put himself in the direct line of this.

I am taking the "lets hope you dont need help.." comments over my head as those comments dont mean anything. This was not a person on the street being attacked. It was a person who is always doing this sort of thing and as i repeat again a woman who turned and got violent with my husband who tried to help her so not the same at all

and sorry but i put my family before a druggie, harsh as it sounds but true

Yabu your dp did what any decent person would do, you should be pleased he acted like that.

As for being worried about repercussions if they were fighting in the street I'm sure lots of people called the police, we had neighbors who had a fight in tge garden and I called the police whilst my stepdad went to intervene and tge 999 operator said they had receive nearly 10 calls about tge incident.

oh well... if she 'turned' and got violent with your Dh, she must deserve to get beaten up/attacked by the men she lives with...

thats an awful thing to say midori

No one deserves to be beaten.

why do people think the woman is always the innocent one? Funny isnt it how we build this picture just becuase she is female.

Everyone repeating same, again wanted him to call police, thats fine just not be there himself.

I suppose the stories of how the police sometimes don't give people getting shit off their neighbours the support they need, doesn't really instil a sense of confidence in you that they can be relied on.

Why do you think he deliberately decided to ignore you telling him how you felt? To say you can't tell him what to do? Out of spite? Because of the situation as he read it at the time?

I don't think midori1999 was being serious.

I think midori was being sarky ivykate?

ivykaty I was being sarcastic, as the Op's posts are heavily implying that she does deserve it. Of course I don'tt hink that for one second...

OP, no one is assuming this woman is 'innocent' they are assuming she doesn't deserve to be dragged into the street whilst screaming and as those screams were 'blood curdling' then she was presumably in some distress.

yeah i know he did it out of instinct, i do get that but i feel so pissed off as we had discussed it and i said how frightened i felt about it all. We also just moved from somewhere else where we had problems and i didnt want to go through it all again blah blah, like i say we had a good chat about it.

He should of rang the police, woman being dragged into the street...
Why shouldn't he of !!!!

Unpleasant. That is all.

midori, I don't think it is helpful,

As I have read it the OP wants her dp to telephone the police out of site, not to go wading in and have the four people possibly turn on him as they are unpredictable due to there state of unstability.

What about unsavoury though Cagney?

god, please read the previous posts people ;)

not saying anyone deserves anything by the way, just want to protect my family, my kids need their daddy

Yabu if she was high she wouldn't know what she was saying. I'd have done the same as him tbh.