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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that it is really strange if you have twins to always dress them the same?

131 replies

jennymac · 05/10/2012 22:54

I know a few people with twins, both identical and non-identical, and they dress them in identical clothes all the time. Why would you do this? They are different children, just because they were born the same day, why would you dress them identically? If you had two girls born a year apart would you dress them in the same clothes, day in, day out? I think it is like treating children as if they are dolls!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 05/10/2012 22:57

Some people dress their kids the same regardless of whether they're twins or not. I suppose it's up to them...as long as they let their kids decide when they're old enough.

I'm glad the policy in the majority of schools round here is to put twins in separate classes though...that helps them form individual identities and friends.

minesapintofwine · 05/10/2012 22:58

Interesting question. I have dts aged 8 mo non id boys. Sometimes I dress them the same mostly not but they have the same coats etc. I suppose on the days I dress them the same it's because I think 'those dungarees are just right in this weather' and I usually have a second pair if they were gifts (people always but two the same) so it's just easier to not have to think too much about a second outfit! I don't know if I agree it's treating them like dolls though if so don't mothers of singletons do this when they pick out their dc's clothes? If they don't want to wear the same things when they are older I won't make them if they do I will allow it could save arguments. Right now they don't have any say

EvilTwins · 05/10/2012 23:00

I think it's odd to dress twins alike.

I disagree with Worra though. Indiscriminately splitting twins because it's "policy"'is ludicrous. Thank goodness the school I send my DTDs to leaves it up to the parents. There are two sets of twins in their year- mine are together, and the other set are split. My twins have no issues having their own identities, thank you very much, on account of them bring separate people.

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost · 05/10/2012 23:00

As a twin, it probably cut down on a number of arguments about who wore what [shrug]

Was mostly yellow and brown clothkits horrors anyway.

So glad to be grown up

minesapintofwine · 05/10/2012 23:00

worra I don't agree with the school policy of twins being in seperate classes. I don't like that. Hopefully when it comes to it I will be able to assert my feeling on this but aprecciate that it may not be possible. I don't think it should be the school's decision though to deliberately seperate two siblings

eosmum · 05/10/2012 23:02

My friend who is an identical twin often finds that herself and her twin buy the same clothes and end up with the same hairdo simply because what suits one will suit the other.

WorraLiberty · 05/10/2012 23:05

I think I've known an unusually high number of twins over the years because due to the age gaps in my kids, I've been a 'school mum' for 17 years.

With all the sets of twins I've known (roughly 7 or 8) there was only one set for whom separation didn't work.

As it turned out, the twin who was struggling was later diagnosed with high functioning autism and his Mum sent them both to a different school in the end anyway.

SoleSource · 05/10/2012 23:06

I have no problem with it. Why do you?

AgentZigzag · 05/10/2012 23:07

I find it more odd to see couples wearing the same fleece/coat.

It makes me want to find out more about the dynamics of their relationship so I can write a research paper on them and make a name for myself

Original poster

jennymac · 05/10/2012 23:07

I can sort of understand it more when they are babies and parents have lots of identical clothes bought for them but when recently I was out with a friend and her dsil had her twin boys with her who were aged 9 and dressed exactly the same. I'm sorry but I thought that was a bit weird!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 05/10/2012 23:08

AZZ do you mean you and your DH don't wear matching shell suites??

I don't know where I got the idea you did....

RosesOrQualityStreet · 05/10/2012 23:09

If you had two girls born a year apart would you dress them in the same clothes, day in, day out? I think it is like treating children as if they are dolls!

This is what I have, 2 DDs with a small age gap and I dress them the same most days. Its easier for me and they like it and ask to match if I dress them differently.

Horses for courses. If you don't like it, don't do it. Everyone does what suits them best.

minesapintofwine · 05/10/2012 23:11

jenny actually (backtracks here) I do find it odd when older twins are dressed the same especially when they are non-id. I wonder if I will still feel this way when my boys are 9 and they are wearing matching tracksuits whilst dh and I wear the same jumpers!

EvilTwins · 05/10/2012 23:12

I know an unusually large number of twins, owing to being a mother of twins who chaired a twins group. Without a doubt, parents know their children better than schools, and having a "policy" of splitting is wrong. My girls were only just 4 when they started school, and had been together literally forever. Splitting them would have been wrong. However, that was my decision. Research has shown that splitting twins can in fact cause psychological damage if it is forced. I would definitely argue with any school who claims to know what is better for my children than I do. Of the twins I know, only one set is currently split in school. In some cases there was only one class anyway, but in others, the schools have left it to the parents. I don't know a single set of twins who have issues with identity. That's more to do with parenting than whether a school splits them in Reception.

SoleSource · 05/10/2012 23:13

Lol mine is Dh your twin

Original poster

jennymac · 05/10/2012 23:14

Fair enough! I don't have a problem with it, just think it is a bit of a funny thing to do! My dsil has twin girls who are 2yrs and while the odd time she will put them in the same outfit, they mostly wear different clothes (which I think they just share iyswim). That is as easy as making sure you have the same outfits clean and ironed every day.

OP posts:

jellybeans · 05/10/2012 23:14

YABU. I dressed my twins the same when they were babies about half the time. My favourite was same but dif colours. My older girls are 2 yrs apart and were often dressed the same, had the same coats etc. I don't give a hoot what other people dress their kids in so why should they judge mine?

Also my twins have always been in the same class at primary and secondary it is up to parents. This is right. Why are you so bothered how other people dress their twins? Or what class they are in?

smellsabit · 05/10/2012 23:14

i can see its easier when they are little!

santaisNOTathreat · 05/10/2012 23:15

try telling my dd aged 3 what I want her to wear, if she does not want to wear it she will not wear it. She picks her own clothes. I have a niece who is the same age as DD, if DD wears a dress DN wants to wear a dress and so on and so forth and vise versa.

EvilTwins · 05/10/2012 23:16

I always wondered what a twin mum who likes to dress her twins the same would do if one twin puked all over the outfit. Change both? Or have them not matching for the rest of the day?

Morph2 · 05/10/2012 23:16

me and my bro are 13 months apart and when we was young mum dressed us matching, me in the pinafore dress and him in the matching dungarees. I can't say its done me any harm (i'm 40 next year). We don't wear matching clothes anymore, mostly due to him being in NZ so i would have to be wearing my pjs in the middle of the day

AgentZigzag · 05/10/2012 23:17

I've obviously given out the Shell Suit Vibe in my posts worra (they're purple with yellow stripes/highlights up the side)

There are at least two retirement age couples who have them here.

I need to know who made the decision to get them, was it a two for one offer, how the conversation went when they were brought home, does one put it on when they're going out and they cajole the other into putting theirs on, do the people they know think it odd, or because of the type of people they are are they not surprised etc etc etc.

I've spent a lot of the time I spend walking pondering this one

AgentZigzag · 05/10/2012 23:19

DH has just confessed his aunty and her husband used to have matching jackets (jackets are worse).

After 12 years I'm still surprised by what I've married into

RosesOrQualityStreet · 05/10/2012 23:21

There is no extra work in getting matching clothes cleaned and ironed because I don't iron because I do a big wash once a week of all their clothes and they all just get done and back in the wardrobe. They only have 1 wardrobe because despite not being twins they are in the same size clothes so they all just go in together, the only difference between them is half a shoe size and the length of their hair!
I find shopping easier, I just pick 2 of everything up.

I know plenty of people will think its odd but I can assure you that neither of them have any problem asserting their spirited unique personalities and identities!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/10/2012 23:21

I like twins in same clothes but different colours, too, eg one top each from a set of two with similar designs/colour scheme. However I'm not a mum of twins and can whole heartedly say it doesn't bother me in the slightest what twins wear!

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