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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that it is really strange if you have twins to always dress them the same?

131 replies

jennymac · 05/10/2012 22:54

I know a few people with twins, both identical and non-identical, and they dress them in identical clothes all the time. Why would you do this? They are different children, just because they were born the same day, why would you dress them identically? If you had two girls born a year apart would you dress them in the same clothes, day in, day out? I think it is like treating children as if they are dolls!

OP posts:
candr · 07/10/2012 21:12

Jellybean, as you are not a twin you won't know how annoying it is to be called 'twin' the whole time(especially by teachers) rather than your christian name. Wearing school uniform is different as Everyone is in the same boat but own clothes is your chance to be seen as an individual.
You may not mind a jot people reffering to your boys as twins but they may have a different opinion as they get older.

Everyone who has twins has some cute pictures of them in the same outfits when little but it is those that insist on dressing them the same as they grow and start learning 'who' they are that cause problems.
I used to belong to a twins club and now as an adult there are a few sets of twins who have been so kept as one person that they can not live apart as they literally feel they cannot cope without their sibling - I find this so sad.

RedBlanket · 08/10/2012 10:30

I never call mine 'the twins' and I find it irritating when other people do. So much of their life and experiences are shared at least let them have their own name!

jellybeans · 09/10/2012 13:05

'Jellybean, as you are not a twin you won't know how annoying it is to be called 'twin' the whole time(especially by teachers) rather than your christian name.'

I am not a twin but still can have an opinion? Other twins than you also may feel different. My family is full of twins as well as my own sons so I do feel I can have some say.

However, yes I can see that being addressed as 'twin' would be annoying especially when older. An older lady at the toddler group used to see my boys (about age 2) and say 'ooh look here's the twinnies' but she really didn't mean any harm so it didn't both me.

My sons will be in the same class at secondary and have always been in the same class at primary. There is a whole list of reasons for this and it is definitely the RIGHT decision for them. But they are non ID and never addressed as 'the twins' except by people differentiating between them and my other 3DC.

candr · 09/10/2012 21:57

Ok, fair point (shudder at word 'twinnies') When I went to school each child had own peg, drawer etc yet we were expected to share ours and were ALWAYS paired together so were relieved to go into different classes where we were seen as individuals. Lucky for us at secondry we had no classes together (she was in higher set as a bit more academic)
Still find if we so much as sit next to each other in a restaurant strangers feel they have the right to interupt our meal to come and comment on 'oooh, are you twins - you look so alike' (and various other forms of same statement) which I find so rude. Really hope things are easier for your boys.

RedBlanket · 09/10/2012 22:07

Candr - you just reminded me, when mine were at nursery they always had to share a peg. 2 coats and 2 bags on one Little peg, it usually snded up all over the floor. Used to drive me bonkers.

jellybeans · 09/10/2012 22:10

Thanks. I would be very annoyed if they had to share a peg or tray! That is awful. Also if they were always paired. I am very happy for mine to be split into different sets and they are different ability, they will literally probably just be in registration together at secondary. Sorry people are so rude to you though, I would never ask people anything like that or be so nosey!

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