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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it is really strange if you have twins to always dress them the same?

131 replies

jennymac · 05/10/2012 22:54

I know a few people with twins, both identical and non-identical, and they dress them in identical clothes all the time. Why would you do this? They are different children, just because they were born the same day, why would you dress them identically? If you had two girls born a year apart would you dress them in the same clothes, day in, day out? I think it is like treating children as if they are dolls!

OP posts:
5madthings · 06/10/2012 15:24

I have to say i find dressing twins or siblings the same a bit odd. I have four boys and have never done it.

Re twins being dressed identically and what happens if one gets dirty...in my ante-natal/post-natal group there was a mum with twin girls, if one got dirty she changed them both! That seemed mad to me! They also had very similar and rhyming names. in my year at school tbere were four sets of twins and they all tried not to dress the samw, two of thesets of girl twins were a nightmare to shop with as they would fight over who could buy what 'i saw that first i am having it' they wouldnt let each other iwn the same item! Lol they were lovely tho :)

KateShmate · 06/10/2012 15:33

I have 3YO triplet girls and dress them the same but normally with all 3 in same top but different colours, if that makes sense? Or same skirt in different colours.

Main reason for dressing them the same is to stop the arguments - if 1 is in a dress and the other 2 in skirts it is apparently completely unfair that they can't wear a dress too.

Other reason is that its far easier when you are in public to spot 3 girls wearing the same thing, than trying to remember individual outfits.

Dawndonna · 06/10/2012 15:52

my sixteen year old twins have never been dressed alike.

Shelly32 · 06/10/2012 17:00

What does annoy me a little, is when the girls are dressed in different things (most of the time) and someone feels they have to make the comment 'Oh it's lovely that you don't dress them the same.' It's as if mums who do dress their kids/twins the same are inadequate in some way. It really isn't anyone else's business. I'd never comment on the way anyone dressed their children.

Prarieflower · 06/10/2012 17:18

I think it's either laziness or some wierd showing off thing.I have twins,my sister has twins and so does my best friend.I know many sets and none are dressed the same.All have working mums and manage to find the time to treat their children as individuals re clothes.

Other parents of 2,3 or more kids manage to dress their dc differently so I don't buy the it's easier thing.If a parent can't be arsed to treat their dc as individuals then they can't expect others to do so either.

I once saw a mum with 4 girls of various girls all dressed the same from hair bobbles down to shoes,outfit and raincoat-just why?????They're not dolls and it's just plain creepy.

scentednappyhag · 06/10/2012 17:20

My nan dresses her and my grandad the same Grin he's pretty much resigned to it after 57 years!
They aren't twins by the way Grin

Shelly32 · 06/10/2012 17:24

scentednappyhag hahhaha! I'd love to see that!!!

Prarieflower I doubt co-ordinating all of those 4 kids is easy so laziness is def not the issue! I do think a lot of mums are proud that they have twins and sometimes, I stress sometimes and as long as the kids are happy with it, it's fine and very cute to dress them the same.

Prarieflower · 06/10/2012 17:24

I agree with Spying I think sadly some couples are very pro twins and want to emphasize the fact they have them.Tis selfish imvho. Twins have to grow up,become individuals and learn to live separate lives.Constantly being treated as a unit to make mummy feel good is selfish.

No way do I want my boys still living together at 40 with only cats for company.

Prarieflower · 06/10/2012 17:25

Shelly I know several mums of 4 who work and manage to embrace their dc's individuality.

Shelly32 · 06/10/2012 17:28

Dressing kids alike now and again will not destroy their identities in my opinion. Look at kids at school in school uniform. They are all very different. My girls are non identical but even if they weren't theya re so, so different. What they wear on teh outside won't change that.

WillieWaggledagger · 06/10/2012 17:30

I drive through wendover on my way home from work and regularly see two elderly ladies who must be identical twins wearing matching clothes

SteppingOnLego · 06/10/2012 17:36

My id boys are now 6. They like to dress the same if they can but usually that means similar things in different colours because I won't buy identical items or we can't tell which is which from a distance. Same reason they have different colour coats - so the teacher knows which one they are telling off in the playground!

They would hate to be in separate classes at school (not that we have any choice - small village school) but they do have their own friends. I think they just need the security of knowing their twin is nearby.

Shelly32 · 06/10/2012 17:39

stepping onlego My girls have separate friendship groups at nurserybut still like to know the other is in the same room. It's lovely to know they will always have each other! Lol at so teacher knows which one they are telling off Grin

tanteclaire · 06/10/2012 17:46

I think it looks quite sweet. Plenty of people dress siblings the same, particularly of the same sex.
If a child is loved and well clothed who gives a hoot. There are better things to get your judgey knickers in a twist over, frankly.

Shelly32 · 06/10/2012 17:48

tanteclaire I'm with you on that!!

onlyjoking9329 · 06/10/2012 17:53

My DH was an ID twin, he hated being dressed the same, when you look at photos he wasn't always sure which now was him!
I have ID twin girls, the only things they have ever had the same were some footwear and PJs. They've never commented on being dressed differently, I like them to have their own clothes, was difficult to ensure they looked different in uniform. My girls have ASD so it was always useful for other people to tell them apart. People still get them muddled up even with different hair and clothes not to mention personality.
It really doesn't bother me how others dress their children.

shaztwins1 · 06/10/2012 17:53

i have twins and have never dressed them the same ,tho i think id get funny looks one being girl the other a boy Wink but my sil has twin girls also and when they were smaller she had to dress them the same as there was blue murder if she didnt !!!! the girls wanted to dress the same, now they are 8 they dont even want to be in same room never mind same clothes Grin so problem solved. the teachers at school still have trouble telling them apart tho they arent identical so they like to trick them as obv they were same school uniform the same as rest of school

GoldenPeppermintCreams · 06/10/2012 18:01

On my son's induction day at school, for nursery, there was a set of boy/girl twins in matching outfits, other than the shoes. Same t shirt, same gillet, same brown corduroy trousers. Never seen them outside of school, so not sure if mum still dresses them the same, but very relieved to see her wearing a school dress.

LadyBeagleEyes · 06/10/2012 18:04

I look at old photos and I can't tell the difference.
My mum used to dress my tdsis in red and me in blue.
But in the old b&w ones, the only one that could tell the difference was my mum.

GhouliaYelps · 06/10/2012 18:10

I know a mum who has 3 girls under 6 they are all dressed in identical outfits.
It is weird and so is she.

sazzlesb · 06/10/2012 19:15

Our school likes twins to be split but ultimately leaves the decision to the parents. We split our twins in year 1 (there was no option in Reception) and have had no issues whatsoever - probably made easier as they are boy/girl. It's a personal thing of course, but aside from the whole identity thing, my view is do they really want to spend 24/7 with each other - they squabble enough at home as it is! Plus with one in each class, you're guaranteed to get the best teacher each year!

Faverolles · 06/10/2012 19:25

I'm a twin, when my dsis and I were young, we would occasionally be dressed the same - one would have a blue dress with red sash, the other a red dress with a blue sash, sometimes we'd have an identical outfit on.
We loved it, none of our friends were twins, and we felt really special.
Not sure how we would have felt if we were dressed the same all the time though.

thebody · 06/10/2012 19:31

I dressed my older 2 boys alike as they were 16 months apart and it looked cute.

They are now grown up and totally chalk and cheese so wonder if this is the reaction. Oh well.

EvilTwins · 06/10/2012 19:36

The HV who came and did my DTDs' 9 month checkup told me about a set of twins she knew years ago whose mother always dressed them the same, and would change them both if one got food/muck/vomit down her outfit. One was called something like Zoe and the other was Samantha. Both girls answered to the name "Zoemantha". Shock It certainly made sure I treated mine as individuals!

TwelveLeggedWalk · 06/10/2012 19:41

Havent' read the whole thread but YABU for using the phrase 'clean and ironed in reference to 2yr old twins.