Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to label my twins so others can tell them apart?

178 replies

twinsufficient · 04/10/2012 16:31

Dts' nursery teacher has asked me to label them with different coloured stickers as she can't tell them apart. Imho doing this will mean that the teachers will stop trying to tell who is who and rely on the stickers. They are identical but there are differences in face and eye shape etc so not impossible. Should I do as the teacher asks or not?

OP posts:
SuperB0F · 04/10/2012 16:32

I would help the teacher, yes. Why wouldn't you?

Petsinmypudenda · 04/10/2012 16:33

Yabu. I'm an auntie to identical twins, I have obviously known them their whole lives so I can tell them apart but for anyone new it took time to notice the subtle differences in their looks.

TheMightyMojoceratops · 04/10/2012 16:34

Why stickers? Why not different coloured hairbands? Or just don't dress them identically?

MadgeHarvey · 04/10/2012 16:34

What's your thinking behind deliberately making the teacher's life just that little bit more difficult?

HecateHarshPants · 04/10/2012 16:35

I would. She's got, what? 30 children and is busy teaching. Your twins look very different to you because it's you and them, day in day out, since they were born. If you saw them for a few hours a day, with 30 other children and you were busy trying to teach a class, I am sure it would be harder Grin. I think the children would probably feel better to not get mixed up and if a sticker, or different hairstyles or something, helps this happen, then - and it's just my opinion and I am not the parent of twins, so feel free to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about Grin - it's not a bad thing.

WorraLiberty · 04/10/2012 16:35

Yes I would help her, why not?

Nursery children aren't the most verbal as a rule so that must make it harder for her to know which one she's talking to while she's getting to know them.

Paiviaso · 04/10/2012 16:36

Perhaps it would help her learn the difference more quickly, as she would be able to attribute different physical and personality traits to the right twin off the bat. Then you can stop using the stickers.

catwomanlikesmeatballs · 04/10/2012 16:36

yabu, the teacher has better things to do then spend all day every day studying your kids facial features for slight, barely noticeable differences. Other peoples kids just aren't that interesting.

KatieScarlett2833 · 04/10/2012 16:37

Why wouldn't you?

Petsinmypudenda · 04/10/2012 16:37

Gosh I just noticed you put their differences as eye and face shape.. Hard to notice across a classroom no?

picnicbasketcase · 04/10/2012 16:37

I went to primary school with identical twins, one always wore pink hair clips / bands and the other wore red. Might be a bit nicer than actually labelling them.

Frontpaw · 04/10/2012 16:37

I would find it hard to tell identical twins apart! If it helps - I would have thought it would be nice for them not to get called the wrong name all the time!

HecateHarshPants · 04/10/2012 16:38

That's a very very good point ,paiviaso. X is the one who... Y always...

RubyFakeNails · 04/10/2012 16:38

Yabu.

Identical twins seem to run in DHs massive family. I see quite a few sets of them regularly and on occasion I can't tell them apart, so I don't think its unreasonable to for her to ask this especially when she is teaching lots of other children.

Plus they can then have lots of fun by switching labels.

Do you dress them the same, maybe this contributes?

ShushBaby · 04/10/2012 16:38

YABU. It's nice that she has made the effort to want to tell them apart and to suggest a solution to you.

UsingAPsuedonym · 04/10/2012 16:39

Why on earth wouldn't you? A friend of mine used to dress hers the same but with one in blue versions of things and the other red to help.

kakapo · 04/10/2012 16:39

Personally I wouldn't be thrilled with the sticker idea, it sets them apart from the other kids.

But there are good compromises suggested by other people here - hairbands, different clothes/uniform variations etc.

sookiesookie · 04/10/2012 16:39

It will also help their class mates.

overmydeadbody · 04/10/2012 16:39

So you want to deliberately make the teacher's life more difficult, your DDs' life more difficult, and the lives of all the other staff members they come into contact iwth more difficult?! Shock

Staff at the nursery will be able to tell them apart more quickly and learn their distinguishing features if you make it very easy at the begining.

Do you dress them the same? Could you always do one of their hair in a particular style different to the other one's?

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 04/10/2012 16:40

I would find it a bit weird to sticker label them, but would certainly play ball with hairclips etc.

My mum often asks parents of identical twins to do this. After a while she can do without, but having it to start with helps her to focus on them as individuals IYSWIM. She isn't constantly thinking 'which one are you' and conflating personality traits, etc.

effingwotsits · 04/10/2012 16:40

Yabu. Would you rather she have to ask them which one they are every time she speaks to them?

BlueberryHill · 04/10/2012 16:43

Its not about making the teachers life difficult, its about the twins being treated as individuals and lumped together. If they can tell the other children apart, they should make the effort to be able to tell twins apart.

I know that people will say that having stickers means that people will be able to tell them apart, but people are actually quite lazy about bothering to try to tell them about or just lump together as 'the twins' or compare them to eachother. I'm a mother of twins (boy / girl) , my brother has twins, both boys who, athough they looked completely different (different coloured hair, build etc) people still couldn't tell them apart. I would be concerned that the stickers would mean that people don't even try.

Maybe suggest that you will use different coloured stickers for x period of time to help her, but then you won't as they are individuals. Dress them differently and introduce them at the start of the day so that she knows who is who and what they are wearing also.

BonaDea · 04/10/2012 16:43

YANBU - although it SEEMS hard at first to tell twins apart, it takes a matter of days if someone really tries. My best friends are twins and when I first met them I had to remember what they were wearing that day to tell them apart. Inside a few days, I wondered how on earth I could have failed to notice the obvious differences.

Unless you children are complete idiots, I would imagine sticker swapping would become a favourite game within minutes... Wink

Thumbwitch · 04/10/2012 16:44

I can understand the reluctance to label them, but you could at least make sure that they look different, either in clothes (and keep it consistent) or in hair or something. It's better for them as well if the teacher can tell them apart!

I used to go to school with identical twins but they were relatively easy to tell apart as one was a fair bit smaller than the other, due to health reasons. However, a pair of female identical twins in the year above me - well, none of us could tell them apart! They did have defining clothes that they wore though, to make people's lives easier.

vinhotinto · 04/10/2012 16:44

We have twins in our our family that are very hard to tell apart, so yes I would do something to help the teacher as it will help her get to know them as individuals. Don't think I would use stickers but some alternative.

Swipe left for the next trending thread