Hi all,
I'm new here and I come to you with a bit of a dilemma. Bit long - sorry.
Here's the background: I'm in my mid 20s, DP is 30. We've just moved in together, into a lovely little flat bought by him. It is small but not tiny (one bedroom, good sized living room/kitchen and potential to create another bedroom in the loft when we have the funds.) The area is full of mums with buggies - it is very child friendly. Both DP and I work full time. He's got a decent income, mine is average or slightly less. Financially we're ok - but really not rolling in it.
I've always known that being a mother eventually will be the most important job of my life. I did well academically and my job is stable, but would give it all up in a blink to have children. Though I've always known that, I've pushed the thought of children away - waiting for a better time e.g. when I'd met the right person (I now have) when I was living somewhere permanent, not renting (I now am) when I had a job I could go back to after maternity leave etc (possible.) If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow, I'd be totally over the moon. However, it still doesn't feel like the 'perfect' time.
We only have one bedroom - how long can you go with a baby sleeping in your bedroom? Max 2 years?
We aren't married - wouldn't bother either of us, but might bother DP's family. Is it hard fielding the 'that was clearly a mistake baby' vibe that people on his side would feel?
Financially - what are your thoughts on a minimum collective income suitable for bringing up a child? I think we'd manage, but like I said - we aren't in a place where money is no object. I couldn't ask my family for financial support. His could help a little bit.
I've not spoken with DP about this in any depth. He knows how much I love children and that being a mother is my priority as opposed to career ambition. We're solid - baby free, I imagine we'll get married sometime in the next 4 years. However, he's anxious about turning 30 and is acclimatising to the fact that he now pays a mortgage etc. I know for a fact that sitting down and having a 'shall we have a baby?' talk is impossible right now, but also know that if I was pregnant, he'd be very excited. He's very responsible, likes to 'do the right thing' and would opt to wait for 'the perfect time' - I know that....But I feel so unfulfilled. I feel like I am living for the future, when I have a child. I don't mean this in a cutesy way, like a kid with a doll. I mean that I can't shut out my maternal instinct, to the point that I am unhappy in my job. I adore DP, I love our little flat, but I know that being a mum will be everything to me. I think about having a child everyday - watching their development, nurturing a little life, managing the logistics of it all (yes I'm that tragic!)
So is there really a 'perfect' time? Should I keep pushing it all to one side? Would it be totally unfair on DP and despicable behaviour to stop taking the pill? Any opinions really welcomed 
Thanks!