To feel really very hurt by my SIL.

[Diddydollydo]

My brother and his wife have just had their first baby (yay!), a beautiful little girl. I wanted to get them something special, or what I thought was special, so I started making a basket up for them a few months ago, adding to it when I could afford to.

I put in bodysuits, babygrows, a music box, teething ring, a couple of little dresses, little soft toys, practical stuff like nappies, wipes, muslins etc. I also made some wee trinkets for DN for when she is older (I make silver jewellery). I decorated the basket with ribbons and balloons and took it round on Saturday and DB and SIL seemed very happy with it. DB rang me when I got home to say thanks again.

Today at work, DB rang and asked me to drop by on my way home from work and pick something up that I'd left there. So he opens the door and we're chatting in the hall. SIL was in the living room and clearly didn't hear me come in as I hear her say 'Yeah, Diddy was here on Saturday. Yes a basket of crap then laughs. DB was mortified and started to walk into the living room but I stopped him, said it didn't matter and left. She's just had a baby and I didn't want them fighting.

However, now I feel really hurt. I put so much thought into the basket and I know that perhaps it wasn't a fancy present but I thought she, in particular, would appreciate it. And most of all, I thought she was my friend. Am I being a twattish sensitive idiot?

Scrambled yes it was a gift! My sister gave is to DD when she was tiny, I think she was getting me back for all the shocking auntie gifts I gave my DN's when they were little.

Christmas gift for SIL - self help book Getting Over Yourself
Future gift for your lovely neice, Children of the Self Absorbed

She was a cow, sorry.

The best revenge is moonsand, lots and lots and lots of it, as a gift, of course, is goes everywhere!!!

dysfunctinalme just

Actually much as I'd be tempted to send a cutting reply, I agree now with posters who are saying don't reply.

There's a real possibility that she'll turn it round and make it all "poor me" ..... "I sent a text apologising... She knows I've just had a baby and she's just being horrible and carrying it on..... "

Ignore her. Be polite but remote. She's shown her true colours.

What a cow!! You sound lovely and when I had my babies I wish I had someone give me that pressie

Dignity is key here.... agree with others that you shouldn't dignify her horrid text with a response. Reply to DB and enquire about DN. Be civil/courteous to SIL when you next see her. I hope she's burning with shame inside!!!

I am due my first baby in 3 weeks and I would LOVE a basket like that. In fact a friend of mine made up a similar one with baby lotions etc, nappies and some outfits and I was very very grateful. The basket is perfect for keeping muslins in also!

PMSL @ dysfunctionalme book suggestions Y Y to noisy toys for DN too and permanent markers

Agree lantern I guess I meant I hoped she is burning with shame/self-consciousness at being caught out at being a total bitch!!

She is a complete bitch. But then you figured that bit out already.

Aw you poor thing she sounds like a delight bitch, having a baby is no excuse to be that rude and mean when it's ovb someone has put a lot of effort into that

Id not respond to her text. at all.

I would, however, be sending her an oxfam christmas present every year from now on....you know, the "send a goat" or "build a latrine".

EIther that or a Primark gift voucher for £5.

Make sure you are generous to a fault with your wee niece.

I agree with everyone saying don't text her at all. Just ignore. Reply to your DB if you want to, and continue being a lovely auntie to your DNeice.

I would have loved that basket too. It's so thoughtful and individual, and worth 10 designer outfits IMO.

Was thinking maybe your DB has seen her true colours now. But he could be blinded still.

Oh my god that is just awful! What a prize cow. You sound really lovely. I wish I had you as my SIL

I think you should text her and say that you've a friend who would love the stuff you're picking it up tonight....

Man that would be quite high up in my list of shittest apologies ever!

Agree with no reply to her. Calm, considered politeness is the way to go with her and yes yes yes to a goat for Christmas.

PS - I need a SIL - will you be mine?

Also agree that you should text your DB and ask for the basket back, as you know someone who would like it.

Do you think she'll be sending you a thank you card?

That text makes it so much worse!

wow. That's someone who's not a bit sorry. No doubt your brother insisted that she apologise. Which she didn't. No way was that an apology, or even close.

@ DeepPurple now I can't wait to hear about that thank you card!!!

Lego, Playdoh and I'll raise you Moonsand. Obviously, drums, keyboards Wiggles DVDs are also good.

Are you going to tackle this directly with your sil/bro?

She does sound awful, that was a dreadful thing to say and a shit apology BUT is there any chance that the "basket of crap" comment could have been about the fact that the basket was full of lots of different little things that though lovely, all had to be put away in separate places?

You know when you have just had a baby and haven't got time to do anything at ALL, you might just think "oh God, that babygro will have to go there, that'll have to go there, where do I store the necklaces till she is old enough . . . ?" etc, the thought of putting it all away might have felt overwhelming?

I am not trying to make excuses for her but just to think of another explanation as to why someone who was previously nice could say such a thing, rather than the explanations so far offered on this thread, which can be summed up as "she was never nice, she was just pretending."

You would not want to be in my head when I am trying to organise a big get together and one of my guests brings me FLOWERS. I always say "Oh how lovely thank you" but inside I am so ungrateful you wouldn't believe it, I think "uuuurgh now on top of all the other things I have got to do I have now also got to find a sodding vase and cut them and put them in it and find somewhere for them to go!" I would not say anything of course because I know this is totally unreasonable and ungrateful. I was organising a children's party at the weekend, absolutely tearing my hair out, and DH popped out to buy a few bits and came back with some flowers. I wanted to shove them up his arse. I didn't, of course.