For this little girl to have put me off sending dc to private school.

[reallythough]

Name-changed as I have a feeling I'm going to get flamed and I'm a bit scared.

We are unsure of whether to send our dc to private school or state school at the moment, we have one starting school next September.

DC who will be starting school next year attends pre-school at a nursery attached to a private school which we really love, the staff are brilliant, dc is very happy and has lots of friends. Last week I picked dc up and walking out of the school an 11ish year old girl and her siblings ran out shouting 'oh Daddy you've got your new Range, look at Daddy's new Range everyone' on repeat about 5/6 times whilst looking around to show everyone that she didn't know (it was a particularly nice car).

I don't want our dc growing up surrounded by people who place importance on materialistic posessions at such a young age. It made me wonder whether a state school will be a more organic surrounding for dc to grow in rather than the quite narrow selection of people they will be socialising with at an independent.

I read something the other day about how we try to re-create our own childhood for our children and I went to private school but after juniors was desperately unhappy there and felt trapped. I am not criticising the girl at all but it did remind me that on the whole a lot of the people I went to private school with were very materialistic and quite narrow minded. AIBU for this to have jolted me to have a serious re-think?

Is this thread for real?

Name change! Maybe it is you that is jealous! I really take offence at you saying that all the girls at private school are horrible and materialistic. Children at private school sometimes do have more confidence but that doesn't mean they are horrible! They are children for goodness sake.

"many parents who choose private are doing so because they are making a deliberate choice to buy into that privileged little bubble where their offspring will go to school with nice children and meet nice families and be protected from the rougher side of life"
Yes that is precisely what I am doing - like that's a bad thing . Yes am privileged and lucky to be so - not going to wear a hair shirt and self flagellate. Like most other parents I am motivated to do the best for my dc and private school generally offers advantages unparalleled in the state sector

I think the key thing is to find the best and right school for your children, whether that's state or independent and not criticise others' choices.

This thread is a big pile of horse shit

Hths

I send my daughter to private school because I want her to be pushed academically, alongside children with parents who have that as a priority too. I don't want her to see social deprivation before she has to which is what she would have seen if we had sent her to our local primary. I understand that seems very snobbish but why would I choose that for her if I didn't have to? It doesn't mean she will grow up to continue to live in a privileged bubble, but if I can delay her witnessing unpleasant situations a bit longer I will.

NameChangeGalore, I think it will probably stem from the home. DS goes to an independent and I've never seen any indication at all that materialism is encouraged. Quite the reverse.

As I've suggested above, I'm not going to pretend that there aren't the occasional horrors and I pity the poor teachers who have to put up with this crap, but most people are nice, well adjusted and genuine.

Yes it's all very unpleasant Scarlett's mummy (rolls eyes at name). My dd played with used drug needles at her reception class the other day. Ver unpleasant

Yes ds is going to private school because he will get a better education than in the state school he was allocated, lucky we have that option. Also I found many of parents rude, negative and aggressive towards their children does that rub off on their children often sadly it does. This school has a much calmer happier feel. How terrible of me to want this for ds

My views are left Wong, I hope that ds will follow. But when it comes to ds my political views go out of the window when wanting the best for him

It's not about drugs- for me it was seeing the dads spitting in the playground at pick up, screaming, swearing, boys with rats tails and general atmosphere that I refused to put my pfb into. Would you?

I assume you visited this school before you placed your child there and you must have been impressed by the children you meet. Just remember there is usually one rotten apple in every barrel, but you don't throw away the whole barrel because of it.

am not a fan/supporter of private education, but this is a trivial/silly reason to base your decision on.

Oh dear lord
There are great state schools and bad state schools
There are great private schools and crap private schools.

We almost always make the best choice we can or our children because we love them

But if our best attempt at thoughtful and thorough decision making is undermined by a chance encounter with Veruca Salt then perhaps we should just toss a coin.

My Dd's primary school is nothing like that. If anything, it is very middle class. No swearing or spitting or general rowdiness. I must be lucky.

I have found though, and my friend who went to private school agrees with me, that you don't just go into private school to be educated. There's a whole culture you have to live up to. If you're not mega rich, you will be left out and ridiculed. I wouldn't want that for my children.

on a different note, someone I really don't like was boasting to me about sending her son to private school. In other words "we've got more money than you".

It made me feel shit, poor and a bad mother for not being able to give my DD the same opportunity.

she may have more money but no class
being good parent isn't defined by whether or not at private school
hug your child don't worry about what someone else does

"There's a whole culture you have to live up to. If you're not mega rich, you will be left out and ridiculed."

That's such a sweeping statement and rather unfounded

Didnt Amy Childs go to private school?
I rest my case.

the shutuuuuuuuup towie girl
she's a ticket
unintentionally funny

With some private schools yes most parents will be very wealthy. I live close to dulwich prep, they children there are mainly very upper middle class and it very prodominatly white. It's not like that at ds prep it's quite mixed but yes most are comfortably off. The ex is paying ds fees I am not wealthy

I am guessing most are comfortably off ....

You dont always get what for pay for....

... but often you do ....