weird silly advice you have had

[devonshiredumpling]

just thinking today of a piece of advice that my ex MIL gave me .she said that if you do not wear tights in winter i would not have any children (no tights and two kids later). wondered if you people had any further gems of wisdom

But you could have children if your tights were crotchless, couldn't you? You can buy them.

Hmmm. Your pants would have to be crotchless, too.

her reasoning was if you draughts to your fanjo you would have fertility problems when i told her i was expecting you ought to have seen her face

My mother thinks you'll have an AF if you drink cherry brandy.

Not sure if these are true or not but

if your back gets cold you will get kidney stones

and if your bum gets cold you will get piles

Draughts to your vagina?! I have terrible visions of awoman laying legs wide open outside on a cold windy day. Of course wearing tights.

Yes wannabe!! My mil is always saying the kidney one to me!! Fair enough my jeans often expose my bum crack but it does not warrant a "ooooh your kidneys" every time! But me some jeans that don't get baggy within a day of wearing them & I'll stop exposing my kidneys!!

LadySybil what's an AF? Am I being thick? quite possibly

My mother told me that you must not fly whilst at all pregnant - pressure during take off would suck the baby out!! My pointing out that anyone who needed a poo during take off would automatically shit their pants if that was the case made little difference. I sometimes wonder if, secretly, she is still of the belief that the world is flat...

My ex used to think that draughts caused earaches, not wind outside, only inside.

Cracking Your Knuckles Cause Arthritis.

Pixieonthemoor

Mil told me that babies need to cry, as it is good for their lungs. She then added the caveat, 'but not baby boys - it is bad for them.' I know the 'good for their lungs' crap is often peddled, but the boy thing was a new one on me. I erred on the side of caution and left neither child to cry.

She also told me my 'womb would be stronger' after a miscarriage. In that instance, I think she was just trying to find something nice to say, during what was an awful time for us all, her included. Having had four miscarriages and two living children, by her reckoning my womb must now be in with a chance for Rio 2016.

Her other gem was, on seeing 4yo dd get upset by the noise of the sea on a beach holiday, 'You'll have to toughen her up before school!' Dh and I decided that, as her primary school was not on a beach, we probably didn't have to worry.

Mil is very sweet, really. She just occasionally has advice that will apparently burn her up if she doesn't share it. I aspire to be the same, in my dotage. Perhaps I will save this thread for future reference.

i was told don't leave a baby boy cry because it can cause a hernia

When i was 13 I can remember my nan (in her 90s bless her, she's passed away now) was horrified that my mother (her DIL) was allowing me to wash my hair during a period! It was just not done.

It was all said in hushed tones with much pearl clutching ... i was very

I am still annoyed my mum wouldn't allow me to use tampons until I'd been having my periods for a year....and I still don't know why

Considering she got the school nurse to talk to me about periods and she specifically told me there was no reason not to use them immediately (although she did explain about the hymen being intact etc) I think her explanation of 'well I say no' when I told her about the nurse was a bit silly.

And all those people that asked me after I'd had my children if I'd had any cravings - to which I replied peanut butter - that then said 'oooooh, you shouldn't have peanut butter when you're pregnant!' Might well be right, but it's not really helpful once the baby has been born!

My GGM once told me off for walking across my GMs concrete yard in my bare feet (I hate shoes n socks) because it would ruin my spine and refused to listen when I told her it was good for feet to feel different surfaces and get air.

She later read from her beloved Yours magazine that everyone should walk in bare feet now and again as it was good for them.

That was a sweet day :o

Mil once told me I should iron dhs pants as "you never know who might see them" erm yes...

Long hair stunts young girls growth. If you look in the mirror too often you will see the devil on your shoulder. Young Ladies should not read newspapers. Boys are always better than boys.

girls

Don't attract the baby's attention from behind/above his head, as if he looks up at me, his eyes will roll right over and face the wrong way in his head.
This was sincere, straight faced, and they meant it, from my then MiL and her sister when my pfb was a baby... (he's 22 this year so hardly the dark ages)

A glass of water in the morning 'gets your kidneys going'. The fuck? If my kidneys had stopped working in the night I wouldn't be so bloody desperate for a wee. Kidneys don't stop working just because you're asleep. What a load of bollocks.

Arf at Kentucky's MIL

You want to induce that pregnancy with a knitting needle, you're getting too big now (thanks grandma, perhaps not).

This was more of a suggestion.

I asked someone to babysit so i could finish some potentially dangerous to dcs diy. They said no (as usual, don't bother asking anymore) and said i should just shut the children in one room while i did it to keep them safe (whilst looking at me with disgust for having the nerve to ask for help).

The diy was going to take at least all day and my dcs were 4 and 2. Just shut them in a room all day!?!?

Yes this was from the same woman who told me that blw is unnatural and I should spoon feed until at least 3 like she did with dh she still tries to put dd (nearly 4) in a high chair. She also thinks that the dcs should wear slippers inside at all times lest their toes get frost bite. EVEN IN SUMMER. I luffs her but she's a daft old bat sometimes! :o

My MIL's gems:

Lying in a Radox bath for too long will cause you to relax so much your blood pressure will drop and you'll pass out.

Also my daily soaks are apparently the cause of me being overweight, as the water is being absorbed through my pores !