weird silly advice you have had

[devonshiredumpling]

just thinking today of a piece of advice that my ex MIL gave me .she said that if you do not wear tights in winter i would not have any children (no tights and two kids later). wondered if you people had any further gems of wisdom

people who sit on cold floors get piles

women who don't wear clean knickers get cystitis

letting your hair dry naturally will lead to pneumonia

if a baby bites you then you must bite it back

if you don't take your coat off the second you get indoors then you won't 'feel the benefit' when you go back out

We were told by our PE teacher that sitting on a warm radiator would give us piles!

I think the basic message here is, "sitting on anything, of any temperature, made of any material, will give you piles".

Also, I worked with a woman once who believed that if you drank out of a mug with a chip in the rim, your teeth would fall out.

Eating salt and vinegar crisps will stop a cold.

After having a caesarean you wont be in pain as you won't have internal stitches like after a proper birth

Wearing knickers in bed is dangerous and can cause most illnesses

Well, there are 2 things that supposedly sensible people have told me years ago that I still at now when I think about them...

1. Mid 1980s, I said to the school careers adviser that I wanted to be a farrier. His reply was (and I kid you not unfortunately), "Oh no, that's a man's job, how about being a secretary or a nurse?"

Twat!

1. I'm childless by choice and when, in my mid 20s, I told a family planning nurse that I wanted to be sterilised she said that I'd probably change my mind if I met "Mr Right" and then want his babies

She also suggested I'd probably change my mind if I became pregnant, and suddenly go from being repulsed by the idea of pregnancy, birth and child rearing to become someone on par with earth mother. That's a hell of a risk in my book; what if I still felt the same when it was too late?! 20 years on I'm still not interested in having kids so I bloody well knew myself better than she gave me credit for! Incidentally, I had a friend who didn't want children, and when she found herself pregnant and consequently gave birth, she took a long time to bond with her baby, and accepted her fate rather than embraced motherhood. She didn't change her mind, she just had a "made my bed now I have to lie on it" attitude.

My Dad always said don't go to bed with wet hair. He probably had a point. I never do now but did a lot when a teenager.

Scabies is an sti, told to us by the manager of a nursing home I worked in when two staff members had it and we were telling her we thought residents also had it.

By the time she admitted it wasn't just caught through sex most of the staff and residents had all caught it too.

Bloody idiot

Cracking advice from MIL - whilst I am telling DS he cannot eat his sweets before dinner (which will be in 20 minutes) and that he can eat them after.

"why don't you let him have the sweets now or he might be too full up to eat them after dinner".

Fucking genius.

MIL say wearing sunblock causes ricketts?!
And she is an orthopaedic nurse. Beggers belief.

I should say she said this after I put factor 30 on my son with very light sensitive skin, sunblock that had been prescribed by the GP.
I mean, fair enough if I kept him out of sunlight 24/7, never let him play out ever, but he plays out on every day when it isn't raining heavily. He isn't going to get ricketts!
My niece who never ever wears sunblock though because of MIL scaring her mum, I worry about a lot!

my mother insists that you can not eat brownies on the day of making them as they are too soft to cut. We always had to wait until "tomorrow" when they could be cut.

Nancy - MIL said about biting back when DD had a biting phaze. Yeah, because they realise biting is wrong by you biting them?!

EthelB you've reminded me: eating raw cake mix gives you worms

oh and she also disagreed with wearing knickers in bed.

Not to drink water with meals as it washes all the vitamins away

pombear - that thing about babies eyes rolling in their heads is HILARIOUS! When LO was about 3 days old, he opened his eyes, and they were pointing in different directions. Scared the shit out of me.

Holding eggshells will give you warts.

Sitting on a cold floor gives you piles.

Going outside with wet hair will give you a cold. (TBH, I kind of believe this one).

Eating cheese at night gives you nightmares. But only in the UK apparently - grew up elsewhere and this was never mentioned! And I have never had cheese nightmares either.

If you stretch upwards to reach something on a high shelf while pregnant, you will dislodge the baby... She was absolutely adamant, and wouldn't believe me after I especially checked this stupid dubious-sounding advice with my GP dad, my midwife and my GP. Her doctor had told her so 45 years ago, so it was unquestionably right.

My mum:
Sitting on a cold floor will give you piles, or 'a chill in your kidneys'.
If you go to the loo a lot, you have a chill in your kidneys.
Wet hair outdoors or in bed will give you a cold.
Not wearing a coat will give you a cold.
Throwing all your clothes in your wardrobe without folding them will make your bedroom damp and mildewy.
Crying is good for babies' lungs.
Babies should very wrapped up in a millions layers (she's a bit stumped by DS, who overheats very easily and prefers to be lightly dressed).
Vegetables are nasty and not worth bothering with. Meat is far better for you.
You can't have a hot shower during a period as it'll increase your blood pressure and you'll bleed to death.

DSis, when I was little and even more gullible than I am now:
If you eat grape seeds, they'll stick in your intestines and grow into grapevines and you'll die.
You can't leave a reading lamp on for too long or it'll overheat and explode (this was when I was delighted with my first reading lamp in my bedroom).

MIL:
You can't have cats in the same house as children because they spread scarlet fever.

Why is it all women coming up with these gems? Does no-one get advice from their dads, or do dads only do sensible advice? (My dad doesn't do advice at all, even if you ask for it)

Mum told us that swallowing chewing gum would give us a tummy ache.

Sitting/hovering over a radiator would give me piles (told by work colleagues in an office with no heating)

I've started with my daughter though I've told her that if she wants to get a 'shiney' (gold) tooth like daddy's she has to brush her teeth really well.

ganglygiraffe Your nan had no belly button ? How ?

I had all the sitting on cold floors gave you piles and getting cold kidneys was always a bad idea .

Oh yes and douching after sex with coke would stop you getting pregnant . The same person used to sunbathe while being covered in coke and used it to clean all metals . Maybe she just had shares in coca cola

OK so MIL
Don't mix your fats. This only applies bacon sandwiches, don't butter them or you will be ill. But for some reason this rule applies only to bacon butties, not sausage and mash or any other food.
Your baby isn't sleeping because of all the red food he eats. When I asked DP to request what research paper I should be looking for due to never having heard of strawberries and tomatoes, DS's favourite food, keeping anyone awake, he never ever said a word about it to me again
My Mother
You must have a hard bed or you will get a bad back. She insists a Doctor told her this.
On me saying how horrible margarine is the response was, But where will you get your vitamin D from? She will not accept that vitamin D is 'the sunshine' vitamin and that the only source in her mind is margarine.

at all the piles chat. Basically, sitting on anything gives you piles? Gottit.

If you dream that you are dying and die in your dream, then you die in real life. I was told this after recounting a dream where I died! Hmmmm....

My grandmother used to make me eat spoonfulls of sugar from her rank plastic 60s sugar bowl because 'it would help my heart'.

One friend at school used to wipe the toilet seat down before using it because she thought if her father or brother has recently wee-d she'd get pregnant.

ARE you dead sausage ?

Arrgh! Zombie Sausagedog27! Run for your lives!!
:p

Oh some of these are hilarious! Have heard lots of them before mainly from my mil but the best i got from a random woman when i was preg with ds1 (aug born so summer heavily preg)

Was....that i shouldnt go out in the sun as the amniotic fluid would heat up and my baby would boil! Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "boil in the bag" i think my eyes almost rolled out of my head and i had to walk away as i was laughing so much!