weird silly advice you have had

[devonshiredumpling]

just thinking today of a piece of advice that my ex MIL gave me .she said that if you do not wear tights in winter i would not have any children (no tights and two kids later). wondered if you people had any further gems of wisdom

I certainly think I'm alive .....

From the day DD was born, DM would be on my case about not picking her up too much/every time she cried. 2 weeks old DD screaming, stopped as soon as I picked her up DM looking very smug saying see what did I say, only 2 weeks old and already getting her way, she knows way too well how to get what she wants.

Also, drinking anything soon after eating cherries will make you sick or you could even die. My entire family seems to believe that to this day.

::takes bow and aims it at Sausagedog27::

WaitsForMoaningBeforeShootingTiggaxx

My MIL says we've all got worms its just when we've got too many that they come out!! Also main coming out period for worms is at the full moon!!! She's French so I've access to a whole new world of craziness.

Someone i know convinced that bell peppers make everyone have stomach ache . . . because its makes them have stomach ache.

From DM:
If you want your hair to grow, you must get it cut regularly. If you don't get it cut, it dies.
You must always dry your hair after washing it or you'll get a cold. DM is scandalised that my DD has a shower in the evening then spreads a towel over her pillow at bedtime so her (still slightly damp) hair can dry completely. DD's hair is thick and down to her waist, it would take at least an hour to blow-dry it.
Kill all earwigs, they get into your ears and chew your eardrums. This from a friend who insists her friend woke up one night in agony and hearing chewing noises, and the doctors removed an earwig from her ear that had chewed right through her eardrum.

Spanish hairdresser was convinced that DD needed to have all her hair shaved off to make it thicker! Apparently thats why the Spanish have such thick and glossy hair...nothing to do with genetics!

DD has only got 2 inches of very wispy fine hair at 21 months but I'll skip that thank you.

I was told once that the royal family didn't fart because they had their "clappers" removed

Even my hairdresser tells me that if you want to grow your hair you have to cut it

Well it looks thicker if you cut the straggly end bits off - shorter, but thicker.

Your hairdresser has a point.

If you're growing your hair, getting it regularly trimmed every 3 months or so prevents the split ends splitting further up the hair shaft.

It doesn't make your hair grow any faster, but it will be in better condition.

My oldest was about 20 hours old. My husband came onto the ward and picked him up to cuddle him. A midwife scuttled straight over, forcibly took him, put him back in his cot - ON HIS FRONT (even I'd researched that was dangerous) and told him 'don't always hold him - you'll spoil him'. We just laughed and H picked him straight back up.I pity that incompetent, heartless woman's kids, if she had any. I also saw my notes and she's put 'mother tends to do her own thing'. So, you black hearted haired, skinny, older midwife from Northallerton in 1989/90 - you were dangerously stupid and, quite possibly incompetent. Oh, and unpleasant as well.

Sorry - need to balance my previous post - the others were fantastic, especially the one from Manchester who I swore at in labour, and came to see me a couple of times afterwards.

Eating anything two hours before you go swimming will make you get cramp and drown. Even if you're a year old DS who only manages to hold onto your hand while paddling in the shallow end for ten mins, you will get the cramps and that will be the end of you DS.

DH believes it to this day. I mean, fair enough if you're going to do 100 lengths I can see having a full English breakfast first might not be the best idea, but DS is hardly Rebecca Adlington....

it wont make your drown, but i think you are more likely to get cramp ie in your ribs/stomach if you eat before swimming, i did long distance swimming as a child/teen (still do if i get the chance) and its generally not recomended to eat and hour or two before swimming, for a toddler tho its fine!

I was seeing a 22 year old when I was about 18, his sil had just given birth, I asked about the baby and he said 'its a boy just now' knowing full well his answer was liable to be the end of our relationship I had to press further and questioned the 'just now' bit of his answer. His Grandmother had told him that babies can change sex within the first 2 weeks of being born, he had spent the last 7 years waiting 2 weeks before congratulating the births of any children in case they changed sex.

I always used to get told that if I ate apple pips an apple tree would grow in my stomach. I had nightmares about branches coming out of my ears for years.

Sitting on cold floors gives you piles

Shaving your legs makes the hair grow back 3 times as thick and black

Eating cucumber skin gives you indigestion

Skimmed milk has no calcium in it

And this one's my personal favourite: Looking at the moon through tree branches means someone is going to die...joy.

Missy. Did you correct him?!

If you dye your hair it will grow back darker. My DM insists my natural hair is darker now because I dye it.

PooPoo after much laughter, then realising he was serious, I did attempt to correct him, he refused to believe me. He thought that you could go to change your sons nappy and his penis would have fallen off. He also thought that girls could grow one. When I asked about what he thought happened inside the body he said that 'wombs and stuff don't grow until you are about 13'. He also thought thats why people don't register births right away and they get a month to do it in, just in case their babies changed sex. We didn't last very long after that conversation.

Holy mother of god!

And of course not to forget....eating crusts makes your hair curly! Priceless!

missy perhaps they had a history of hermaphrodites in the family?

missy I once had a friend insist that a set of twins were identical.

One was a boy and one was a girl.

But your story trumps that

My husband always thought that if a dog bit you and refused to let go you should stick a finger up its bum so it would cause an air lock and make it let go in order to breathe.

I also had a customer bring a very matted dog in for grooming, apparently she did brush him daily but he was so matted because her dad smoked.