weird silly advice you have had

[devonshiredumpling]

just thinking today of a piece of advice that my ex MIL gave me .she said that if you do not wear tights in winter i would not have any children (no tights and two kids later). wondered if you people had any further gems of wisdom

Bare feet give you a bladder infection.

Told to me by the midwife in the hospital while I was giving birth.

These are all great!

Good grief Psammead, how long ago did you give birth? I'd be terrified to let a midwife near me who believed that!

I was have skin to skin with my newborn DS and trying to establish BF in the hospital room, you know the rooms they keep at tropical temperatures at all times? With a light knitted blanket over us both. Midwife came in and told me DS would catch a cold. Firstly, medical professionals should know being cold won't make you catch cold, and seconding it's hotter than the sun in delivery rooms!

My mum insists on buttering bruises. She says it helps to bring them out

She also bangs cloves of garlic on the chopping board before peeling them as apparently it makes the skin fall off. It doesn't.

My science teacher told me to never let a man cum on my leg. Because the sperm will 'swim up' my leg.

That's a bit creepy for a teacher, Goldship .

MIL told me that I shouldn't pick up 2 day-old ds when he was grizzling because "he needs to learn to cry"

My DB was not allowed to cry as a baby as he had a hernia, it needed to be operated on. My DM had to intervene at the hospital and point out that they had marked up the wrong side

Ken lee - we was doing sex ed at the time ha

From my grandmother.

If you swallow chewing gum it will get wrapped around your lungs and strangle you from the inside.

If you tread on a needle it will go up your body through your veins and stab you in the heart and you will die.

I was told as a child not to play with my belly button because I would undo the knot and my bum would fall off
I still can't touch my belly button without feeling sick and I am in my forties.

Lambzig I can guarantee the needle one isn't true, I stood on a needle once when I was about 8, my mum panicked because I was screaming the house down (really hate needles) and I ended up going to hospital in an ambulance totally unnecessary as it was just pulled straight out by a paramedic!

Incase you were wondering it didn't travel up my veins or stab me on the heart :o

in the heart.

Yy to the belly button! Except my mum caught my sister poking the hook of a coat hanger in hers and my mum told her never to do that because it will come untied and your insides will fall out!

• "Do you always have to show that you're smart? Men don't like smart women, you know. You should pretend to be more stupid and helpless, that's the way to catch a husband!"
• but grandma, what will I do after I catch one by playing stupid? He'll figure the act out eventually and won't want to stay married if he wants a helpless little woman.

• oh..

Don't sit on a cold concrete step as you will get a cold in your kidneys. (mum, gran, teachers). 400 of us in school sat on the steps each morning for 6 years, in that time I never heard of one person getting a cold in their kidneys.

Don't buy an electric blanket, we had one for a wedding present and it had to get mended twice, they're very dangerous. (DM) They had been married over 40 years so I reckon the technology had moved on a bit, but when I pointed this out she didn't speak to me for two days! I've had my machine washable electric blanket for 3 years and I love it.

My Nan was told my the lady she was evacuated to (so a loonnnggg time ago) that she would be able to have children because she didn't have a belly button

Wouldn't *

The ex mil had some gems. I shouldn't go out with wet hair because I'd catch a cold. I wouldn't have enough milk to bf twins. I should get the children straight to the doctors and get them antibiotics at the hint of a sniffle (no wonder the ex was allergic to antibiotics). And she tried to sell my cats when I was pregnant (without my say so) because they would smother the babies.

She is a silly woman.

My mum said the other day that if the doctors couldn't get any blood out of her arm veins they should try her ear lobes

(oooh can you get washable electric blankets onthebottom???)

Cooled boiled water off a spoon cures every baby ill in the book.

DS is teething? cooled boiled water off a spoon
DS is grizzly? Cooled boiled water off a spoon
DS has had a yucky nappy? Cooled boiled water off a spoon
DS is EBF? Cooled boiled water off a spoon.

Just after ds1 was born, I decided to take him for his first pram ride to my Nana who lived 10 minutes away. A cold February morning. Nana instructed me to make sure I keep my coat zipped up or my milk would get cold and cause him to get colic. Wtf ?

The District nurse told me (when I was 39 weeks pregnant) that labour was going to be extremely painful as it was Gods punishment for loose women.

I was told that if I got into a bath 'where a man had been' I might get pregnant. I was never sure whether 'been' meant 'was merely sitting in the same bath' or 'had a wee in the bath'.

And if a man had a monobrow it meant he was a murderer.

Both from my grandmother. Bonkers.

eyes that's awful. She should NOT be saying stuff like that.

DP has a monobrow.

Don't sit on a wall or concrete steps outside as you will get piles. I still avoid doing this although I'm sure it's not true.