To be shock at the parents on the 999 show on channel 4

[Notcontent]

Watching now. Teenagers being arrested. Parents seem to think that's fine and part of growing up. I cannot believe people like that exist...

I thought that aswell, what moron just stands there watches a baby fall of the side of the kitchen table.

I wouldn't personally leave a baby with a 13/14 year old, but if the person I left in charge of my child was stupid enough to leave them on the kitchen side and let them roll that has no relevance to the fact I'd gone out, made me very angry the underlying implication.

Brighthair I think you in control have a harder time than us on the front line. You get the adrenaline that comes with the call but not the action to use it up IYSWIM.
Was talking to some ex-control staff who've just moved to front-line and they agree. Hats off to you all, the information you gain makes our jobs easier and safer, we know you've got our backs. to all of you whereever you are.

get real people this is going on all over the country

ive always said that compared to most on MN i live in a differrent world and indeed i do

the people this programme has filmed are real and to them their life is "normal" they are the new underclass as shocking as it may seem

im suprised so many of you are shocked,but like i said its a different world here on mn that i know of

Ah, now I understand why on threads where people are living next door to people like this they get so many faces and "judgey" comments from other people.

Are there really people on here who didn't realise that some people do live like this?

This is the 'underclass' that people talk about.

Andrea saying she had got it 90% right made me so angry.

Whats right about forcing your kid into growing up because you want to drink yourself into a stupor every night? She has stolen that girls childhood.

I know alcoholism is an illness...but the pure denial is sickening.

And that poor poor baby. Sent back to his mum who would rather go clubbing than look after him.

Im not a perfect mum. I get it wrong sometimes. As we all do. But thats on a totally different level. :(

I've just watched it on OD and I'd say it's very representative of what we deal with. I had my eyes opened wide when I started my job 12 years ago. The social problems and the social deprivation is now generations old, as is some parents not giving a stuff what their kids are doing, where they're doing it and who,they're doing it with.

It's true that a lot of parents seem to have a problem with saying no to their children these days, and this goes hand in hand with them expecting "someone else" to pick up the pieces. As a parent of a 15 year old, I seem to be very much in the minority with my daughter's friends' parents in wanting to know who my daughter's friends are, where she's going, who she's with and having a reasonable curfew- and I live in a so-called middle class area. My daughter's friends' parents are predominantly intelligent educated people, and as a parent who can and has seen the potential pitfalls through my work, I find it's other parents who cause the problems with their almost disinterested attitudes.

Lots of people are very quick to point fingers at social workers and police, but they seem to not accept that the initial problems are not of the social workers' and police doing.

I don't want to start on the politics of it- as much as anything I don't think I understand it fully myself- but there is a real inability and unwillingness for people to take responsibility for their own actions, lives and children, which although not caused by the current generation of parents, has certainly been exacerbated by them.

Does anyone know if it's on again? Im too lazy to 4od lol

yes folk that is why

no disrespct but mn is generally more middle than working/lower or whatever its called

where i come from if you were a sahm and had a cleaner people would be shocked and wouldnt understand it,same as the esa/dla debates on here alot of mn'ers wont believe that people are swinging the lead but in this enviroment it goes on alot

i bet money that you would find a high proportion of these kids are classed as adhd/behaviour problems,even though they do have behaviour problems there not medical it's due to their chaotic family

i really dont want to get into a debate on what ive just said but that why it drives me mad on here when you try to explain on MN as so many have no idea how some kids live and how familys behave

its a blessing when a few posters seem to also have been around these familys and do realise whats really going on and is normal life for some

You'll get no argument from me, thekidsrule.

I'm afraid to say I judged my arse off. Several reasons, really.

• The mum of Logan who got arrested after smashing a window in. She says that when I were 13 the police would take me home now the police just let them stay out. WTF?! So it's the POLICE'S fault for not making sure that YOUR revolting child is not roaming the streets at 11pm?! Do some actual parenting, you fucking spineless cow.

• The mum of the two year old that went missing for an hour. How?! Just how?! I bet she was upstairs shagging the boyfriend, the skank. The boyfriend who was wearing a t-shirt saying "Good Fuck" on the front. Great parenting, guys.

• The baby that fell off the worktop. I cannpt BELIEVE that no action was taken against the mum. I would gladly take that baby off her if she cba to care for him.

• The drunk parents whose twins went AWOL. Those poor girls. :( Fancy going on holiday and being left to fend for yourselves whilst your dipso mum and dad get tanked up on Tennants Super in some skaggy pub. Revolting.

• The woman sucking off men for a fiver. She was a laugh a minute. I did howl with mirth when she called that copper "fucking Columbo"

It was all very grim, though. Very depressing.

But don't you think that it shouldn't be normal? That's what's at the route of the judgey and sceptical comments. It's a tragedy that children are being brought up in such awful home environments where the parents have no real self respect or respect for their communities, only an inflated sense of entitlement and self importance. Manners, standards, morals, and respect don't cost anything and every human being and parent should strive for them - although how the hell we get the 'underclass' to, I have no idea when there are 3rd generation unemployed/unemployable families...

Bugger. Root not route.

kidsrule, I think there's a bit of a difference between raising eyebrows because someone has a cleaner and raising eyebrows because a parent is souped up in thepub whilst their kids might have drowned on a beach. That is not normal in any circles. It is neglectful.

no it shouldnt be normal of course not

how the Uk will halt this i have no idea as you have as this goes back generations

but some mn'ers will time and time again defend familys like this if a poster complains without actually living in that world,calling them judgey etc without having a clue about the other end of society

im not suprised so many mn'ers are shocked

its not until they see this (on tv)as they dont move in these circles normaly that they maybe realise that this is going on

I agree sparkle. I know that it goes on. I am not shocked by it in a "I didnt know this happened way" but its still shocking.

I dont think people who are judging are necessarily ignorant of it.

My best friend from school had her kids taken off her because she was just an utterly shit mum. Now she cries to anyone who will listen about how devastated she is and how stressful it is. All while she is off her face on drugs and drink and laughing at the "boring" normal people.

I know that her own mum was shit. I know that she has no moral compass. But I still judge her. How can I not? Her poor kids are the true victims while she tries to make out she is the victim.

God, thats really depressing though thekids, although I do agree and during my work I have certainly come across families like this. But I`ll admit I found it uncomfortable viewing that this is the norm for many families.

Just a point on Andreas daughter, what an amazing girl, however, I fear its not going to be that easy for her. A close family relative had an alcoholic mother and grew up just like that (her father had died) and even though she is now in her thirties she has had this most of her life, leaving home just meant that she took the worry of her mother with her constantly, worry each night that her mother would fall, choke, try to drive etc. Then the phone calls, shouting, screaming pleading, crying this was every day/night for her.

watched this and was shocked - I'm 23 some of these children aren't REALLY that much younger than me and could NOT believe their behaviour / that their parents let them get away with it!! I know kids get into trouble etc but really?? I hope my girls grow up to respect the police/ambulance/fire crew etc etc and DO NOT waste their time like this!! having had to call for an ambulance 3 times in 1.5years for my 18month old I am extreemly grateful for the person on the end of the phone that managed to keep me calm enough to tend to my baby until the ambulance people came - you helped me save her life on all three occasions and I cannot express how much that means I am tearful just thinking about it and it horryfies me that there are children/young people/adults that waste police time for a laugh etc etc rant over!!

thekidsrule you have hit the nail on the head, i am always slack jawed when someone post's about reporting someone for benefit fraud and are told 'it is rare' 'it doesn't happen like the daily mail says' 'here we go again, benefit bashing'

it is laughable that so many grown women and men are totally clueless as to how frequently people are fudging the system, but that's what happens when the only experience you have is what you read in papers or on here, at first i thought it was just people wanting to say the opposite of the daily mail but, seeing how shocked and surprised so many on this thread are that people like this exist well, clearly people actually aren't aware.

bup,my point is that where i was bought up you would never have a cleaner if you worked or not,people like on the programme have very different lives,very different from alot of mn'ers they would not understand

the same as mn'ers are shocked this goes on

both live very fifferent lives,i didnt mention neglect just that the tv people would not think their lives are wrong

Sorry kidsrule, I think I probably misunderstood your post. :)

I do agree though. I've seen loads of OPs (I have been one!) pounced on for posting about experiences with families like this, as if the OP is making it up. It's true.

And also when the stat's are rolled out ''how can everyone know at least 3 people claiming fraudulently when statistics show there is only this many, it doesn't add up''

Because the statistics are concrete of course, they only have record of who has been found to be claiming fraudulently, 'else nobody would know anyone because they would all be caught.

Unfortunately, Bupcakes, it is 'normal' in some areas.

My BIL and his wife live a few miles away from us in an area that has a bit of a reputation for being inhabited by families like this. DH and his brother couldn't be more different - DH is a nerdy graduate professional, his brother is a bit of a sailing pretty close to the wind Delboy. They have 3 sons: 10, 8 and nearly 6.

Not quite on the scale of the programme last night, but MIL told us that over the summer the oldest went missing because he just decided not to come home. He was found roaming the streets with his friends making a nuisance of himself and intimidating other people; the police came round to the house because all 3 children had been accused of racially abusing a neighbouring family; the 2 older boys found a bottle of vodka and a bottle of coke in a bag at the side of the road and drank it whilst pressurising other children to participate. The dads of one of the children came round threatening him and the children. The 8 year old (who was involved in all of this) has dx of ADHD, ODD and ASD and they didn't have a problem with him being involved in any of this.

MIL told us because she was having a bit of a gossip and there was a bit of feigned horror, but she was actually quite amused by it. The problem is that the reactions of BIL's friends to this is "fuckin' nice one!". The belief is that it's boys being boys, it's nice to see the child with multiple dx being 'normal' (FFS) and it's funny to "give the police some grief". It is normal for their peers. There are no parents telling their children not to play with BIL's children because their family/children/parenting is no different.

We don't see them because it really upsets DH that his nephews are being brought up like this but their parents can't see the problem because they are no different to their friends and they think DH and I are stuck up and boring so there's nothing we can do. BIL and his wife do work, but their parenting leaves a lot to be desired.

thanks

X post: it took me ages to type!