Sick of the bashing

[gossipgirl1]

Where shall I start..... I am sick to death of everyone taking the piss out of 50 Shades books, okay so it's not the best written book in the world but the amount of people who start threads about how they think it's shit is really getting on my nerves. Lets be honest the only reason you people start threads like that is because you know everyone will jump on the bandwagon like a fucking sheep and that makes you feel powerful.

Get a grip....just get a grip.

there are 50 shades bashing threads? runs off to look he he he

gossip Dont be sorry, i dont need sympathy, I was challenging a comment that needed to be challenged.

How do you define the term "abuse". It seems that you see it as a term referring to sexual activity? Do you understand that abuse is about control? Posters on this thread have repeatedly referred to him telling her what to eat, what to wear etc. This controlling behaviour is abuse. It happens in almost all abusive relationships, its what most of us see as red flags.

Please dont compare my relationship with the one in the book and say that its not the same because Im telling you that the controlling behaviours in my relationship are also the same controlling behaviours in these books. yes its presented as "he wants to look after her" but abusive men always cover their control with those kinds of defences.

We are saying its abuse because we understand (most of us through experiencing abuse or watching someone else experience abuse) what abuse is and all the red flags that indicate a relationship is abusive.

To disagree with posters who have a wealth of experience surrounding abuse is akin to banging your head against a wall - you're not going to get anywhere. Go away and do some research into abuse - emotional, financial, sexual and physical. You will learn that control is the common factor and control is a running theme in these books.

But its nothing to do with sex. The author herself has said she has no understanding of BDSM. Never have any of my BDSM sexual partners suggested they want to kill me.

It is everything to do with glorifying and normalizing an abusive relationship, one that is both emotionally and sexually abusive. By the end of the last book she feels lucky that she is "allowed" to work. The more this crap is circulated, the more women, especially the generation of impressionable young women who are reading it, will start to think this is normal.

I have no problem with consensual BDSM relationships. But the fact is he beats the crap out of a vulnerable young woman, and manipulates her, and all because he loves her How can that not be abuse?

So really... You're the one that needs get a grip.

SirGOLD said, much more clearly, what Ive been attempting to say in my sleep deprived state!

It is everything to do with glorifying and normalizing an abusive relationship, one that is both emotionally and sexually abusive. By the end of the last book she feels lucky that she is "allowed" to work. The more this crap is circulated, the more women, especially the generation of impressionable young women who are reading it, will start to think this is normal.

^ This.

Anyway i'm gunna lay this thread to rest now as we are not going to agree, you all put up a good fight though and I respect your opinions.

There's lots of great erotica out there, beyond 50 Shades.

Plenty of better books to bash the bishop to.

I think when you start getting upset that people on a website don't like the same books as you, it might be time to get a grip.

Twinkle don't you dare blush, Ms, you've been incredibly brave sharing and saying what you have over the last few pages.

< checks no one is looking >

< runs away >

I agree thats its not the best written book, but what gets to me is that if you like it you automatically get labelled as being thick and having bad taste in books.

No, you're thick if you actually read it and then sit there saying that;

Its not romanticising abuse
Its not offensive to the BDSM community
Its not offensive to people with mental health conditions.

If you read the book, recognise the above but enjoy it anyway, that doesn't make you thick, it just makes your taste a bit.. Questionable.

The sex stuff may or may not be abuse but the controlling of her life certainly is. She isn't Ana Steele because when she wanted to keep her name she wasn't allowed because he owned her and she was scared of him. You can't see the abuse in that?

Good post Queen!!!! I agree wholeheartedly.

I think it's very worrying that women are reading this shite and thinking it is 'good.'

you must be incredibly insecure to be bothered enough to make a post on it.

The author has made millions. I think that probably makes up for people on the internet pointing out that it is utter shit.

It is badly written, laughably repetitive drivel which unfortunately happens to have a deeply disturbing theme.

I have only skimmed it so I might be missing something here, but it appears to have no redeeming features as far as I can tell.

So quite frankly if the author is a bit miffed by all the poor reviews, I'm not that fussed. If it was badly written drivel about something unimportant then I would probably feel a bit sorry for her, but it's about something pretty important and worth getting hot under the collar about.

And this isn't "niche" porn. It's mainstream and being read by people who have never read porn before.

And the first ever mainstream porn novel normalises abuse, control and misogyny.

Women I though were perfectly sensible and intelligent are talking about Christian Grey as if he is some sort of romantic ideal.

8So quite frankly if the author is a bit miffed by all the poor reviews, I'm not that fussed. If it was badly written drivel about something unimportant then I would probably feel a bit sorry for her, but it's about something pretty important and worth getting hot under the collar about*

YY!

And it deserves to be panned for the horrendous line I read when they are having sex while she is pregnant and he makes some comment about the baby already liking sex.

That bit made me feel dirty for even looking at the book.

Seeker it has really changed the way I look at a few of my friends when they bleat on about how good it is. I am [shocked] and saddened. Also because it is 'acceptable' just to pick it up from Tesco, my 16 impressionable niece read it as 'everyone else was' - just awful.

kung thank God I didn't read the sequels!

seeker - I agree. Someone I know who is otherwise an intelligent, interesting to talk to woman loves the book and is very keen for the film to come out.

We have fairly different taste in books generally - some overlap but not much - but I was very taken aback when I found out she liked 50SoG.

Valium - it's right at the end of the last one. I literally read a bit, skimmed about 20 pages, read a bit, skimmed some more and then skipped to the end to see if there actually is a point to the story - you know, character development, change, resolution, anything that makes something a story rather than a collection of ramblings. I found that line and nearly threw up in my mouth....

I saw her interviewed and she could barely string a sentence together in RL so hardly surprises me that her books were so badly written.

And re: the "everyone is reading it" thing, I was at a writers' event a couple of weeks ago and a lady there said she went into Waterstones and asked for a recommendation as they are usually pretty good. A staff member pointed her to 50SoG (this was at the very beginning of the hype) and said she hadn't read it but lots of people seemed to be buying it.

Would they have pointed a teenager at it too?

One thing I keep wondering about is whether the author has read The Story of O.

Because to me, 50 shades reads like a very bad copy of what someone thinks Story of O is about. Having entirely missed the clear "this is a Bad Thing" subtext.

Puddlejumper - and the scary thing is that, as far as I could see from the sections I read, she doesn't change him and decides that it is fine as it is.

I may be missing something. [hopeful emoticon]