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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think it's bizarre that it seems acceptable to slag off posh people

208 replies

fartattack · 15/09/2012 16:52

simply because they are posh. And to show not compassion for the well off with issues unrelated to wealth simply because they are well off.

I overheard someone today call a well spoken guy a "posh twat" in such a nasty way simply because he was well spoken.

I also see posters on here become dismissive and rude to posters the minute they find out their children are at private school or are high earners.

AIBU to think it's wrong that this reverse snobbery is almost acceptable within society?

OP posts:
handbagCrab · 16/09/2012 09:54

I'm not horrible I'm asking a genuine question! Your dh has been discriminated against according to you because his boss is a bit of a twat and he has a posh accent. From what you are saying this is not an advantage so I'm saying what is the point in being posh and having no money? I'm not saying your husband should have non-eloctution lessons.

My friend had an interview down south and was told in her interview that they didn't employ people from our home town because they steal. Some people are just bastards whether you're rich or poor, posh or not.

seeker · 16/09/2012 09:54

Life is easier for rich people than for poor people.

Sometimes life is easier for posh people than common people. And sometimes it isn't.

But just have a look through the popular press and see which group gets "slagged off" more.

delightfullyfragrant · 16/09/2012 09:56

seeker
I think most people are aware you can be posh with a regional accent, did someone say you couldn't because I can't see it.

Also the cheryl cole thing is quite straight forward I really have to go now, maybe someone else could explain as I think softly softly has gone too.

delightfullyfragrant · 16/09/2012 09:57

seeker
you are missing the point, my OP is NOT about who gets slagged off more it is about one issue the fact that it seems acceptable to slag off either rich people or posh people simply because they are posh or rich.

greenplastictrees · 16/09/2012 09:58

People with money can still have just as many problems as poorer people. These problems may not be finance related but they are still there and some problems may be the same as for people with less money. For example I know two girls both of whom would have loved to go to university. Both sets of parents thought it was a waste of time and they should be out working not pursuing silly goals. One friend's dad was a bus driver. The other was an engineer for an airline earning huge amounts of money. Neither had the support to go to university.

Stereotyping people is the problem, regardless of money and/or how 'posh' they are.

I get stereotyped on my accent. I'm not rich, my parents weren't rich. Some people assume that DP and I are well off based on our accents. We're not. In fact we had a while of spending £15/fortnight on food because I was our main income earner and got constructively dismissed from my job. It's only now that we are getting back on track with things so do have a bit more money to do things. We still aren't rich though but many would assume that we were based on our accents. It's so silly - all stereotypes are silly.

Softlysoftly · 16/09/2012 09:59

The toddler has paint I've bought 5 mins!

Sadly not handbag I remember a recent thread about the woman who had killed her DCs, the Fail reported about her rich husband and million £ house. A few posters said she was a bitch and if she couldn't cope she had the money to hire a nanny.

It was quite likely the woman felt she didn't have reason to feel bad that meant she didn't get help earlier.

If she'd been a single mother on benefits no doubt there would be posters saying "well why did she get pg if she couldn't afford it?"

Why do we do this to each other?

StatisticallyChallenged · 16/09/2012 10:02

Well it sure didn't come across as a genuine questions! and you are still making out like it is a choice - "what is the point in being posh and having no money?"

To me anyway, posh and money are not necessarily the same thing. Someone upthread described David Beckham as having money, but not being posh. The reason he isn't posh is because of his background, where he grew up, how he speaks - essentially things which are a part of his upbringing and which he had no control over.

I didn't choose to be born to a single mum on a shithole estate either. But to some people it will always define me, no matter what I do. I don't think your background should matter, period - so if you grew up on a council estate and want to work in a great profession, great. If you grew up "posh" but don't want to, also great.

I think popular press definitely gives the 'lower classes" for want of a better description a harder time. But on here for example, if someone is being judgey about someone from an estate they will be jumped on from a great height. The same isn't really true in reverse, from what I've seen anyway.

NowThenWreck · 16/09/2012 10:04

No, it's not OK to dislike someone purely because of their background, BUT often their background does inform the way they see the world. That is why George Osborne and Boris Johnson are so clueless about the lower orders, and I am sure in private are perfectly vile about us commoners.

The thing is, that actually posh people don't suffer much from prejudice. Not that there isn't prejudice, just that they don't suffer because they are removed from the general population, by virtue of being at private schools/ Oxford/ very naice villages where everyone they mix with is like them.

The people who really suffer from posh bashing are the ones who are middle class, but live and go to school in places where others maybe live in smaller houses, and speak with a regional accent.
They are derided as "posh", and that often has nothing to do with money.

delightfullyfragrant · 16/09/2012 10:06

"I am sure in private are perfectly vile about us commoners."

Really? You are sure about this? No judgement there then Hmm

handbagCrab · 16/09/2012 10:14

softly that's really sad, that poor family.

I guess some people have to put others down to make themselves feel better and they'll jump on anything to do so.

StatisticallyChallenged · 16/09/2012 10:16

Very true handbag

handbagCrab · 16/09/2012 10:23

statistcally if you're husband believes he is being bullied or held back at work he needs to keep a diary of events and join a union.

I do think it's far more likely for a 'lower class' person as you put it to be discriminated against generally in the work place and beyond based on how they speak and where they went to school.

I am not saying that what is happening to your dh is ok, but I do think it's not on to say that posh people are discriminated against to the extent that non posh people are.

StatisticallyChallenged · 16/09/2012 10:30

I'm pretty sure I didn't say it happens to the same extent.....

Unfortunately my DH has recently had to leave his job so too late to do anything. :(

KenLeeeeeee · 16/09/2012 10:54

I grew up in the north Midlands & was tormented at school for not having a regional accent, regularly called 'posh' & beaten up for it. In actual fact we lived in borderline poverty with an abusive & violent stepfather who used to lock 7 year old me out of the house to play in the back alleyway behind the houses while my mum was at work. FAR from a wealthy, privileged background. Being so horribly misjudged at school really stuck with me so I try very hard (admittedly not always successfully) not to begrudge the lifestyles of anyone wealthier than me.

delightfullyfragrant · 16/09/2012 11:03

Softly I remember that thread and also the press picking up on her million pound house and people saying she could have afford a nanny and being quite nasty

discophile · 16/09/2012 11:06

Yes, it's wrong. You are not being unreasonable. Some people are just so chippy it's unbelieveable.

Rowanhart · 16/09/2012 11:37

I've bad it both ways. I am bright and well educated but raised by a single parent in a North East council estate. So to those I've grown up with I'm "posh" and "think I'm better than them". I was actually beaten up on a night out in my hometown as the girl was "sick of me acting like I'm better than everyone else."

Direct quote: "you walk about with your big hair, little dress and your job an think you are so superior."

At Uni I was one of only two state school kids reading PPE. In one seminar I was asked to repeat everything I said in English. Queue sniggers from other public school types.

Do you know which hurt most? The latter. Because with my NE accent and background it dawned in me that would be excluded from opportunity. Until that point I'd truly believed that if I worked hard I could achieve anything. Prime minister if I wanted! But I then knew there would be people who would want to stop me because of my background.

I've returned to the NE after working away for eight years. Working in London I was often referred to as the 'Cheryl wannabe' (dark hair/dimples/NE accent-sue me." and was told by colleagues I would never get ahead as people struggled to take me seriously.

Up North I'm a boss and often get comments from people who know what area I'm from that "I must have lost my a cent." (it is much tamer than was as teenager.)

I gt much angrier at people finding Chav funny. Things like Vicky Pollard are far more offensive than Tory Boy.

That's because I can honestly say it is far more painful to be ridiculed for being poor than being wealthy.

starlady · 16/09/2012 12:04

Rowanhart - brilliant post.

Delighfullyfragrant - I used to hang around with some publicschool boys who regularly used words like pov (ie poverty) or pleb to describe people. And they would go to people's house parties and urinate and defecate over people's homes and thought this it was hillarous.

I ditched the wannabe Bullingdons and am now married to a man bought up on free school meals and council flat. He may say 'go toilet', and 'feffer' instead of 'feather' but I'll take that over their breathtaking sense of entitlement.

LunaLunatic · 16/09/2012 12:11

YANBU. I was bullied mercilessly as a kid for speaking with a "posh" accent. We weren't even rich, I just managed to get a scholarship to a junior school where everyone spoke with an RP accent. I was bullied by adult teachers as well when I went to a "normal" high school.

Ha fucking ha this 13 year old new girl sounds posh so let's beat the shit out of her and make her a social outcast for 5 years. Adults who bend to this shit are irresponsible twats in my opinion. If a teacher encouraged all the kids to rip the shit of a kid because she lived on a council estate there would be hell to pay.

NowThenWreck · 16/09/2012 12:11

delightfulltfragrant-no, you misunderstand. I am absolutely judging Geotge Osborne and his cronies, for I know, due to their evil poor bashing policies, that they are cunts.
HTH.

Softlysoftly · 16/09/2012 12:31

starlady so from your one bad group of mates everyone posh is a twat?

I am wasting my breath, ok one more time.

Do not be a bastard to someone because they are rich

Do not be a bastard to someone because they are poor

Do not lump everyone together people are individuals

Just because someone is horrible to you because you are poor does not make it fine for you to be horrible to a rich person because they are rich

Ditto posh but not rich

Ditto common but not poor

Ditto

Ditto

Fucking ditto

K?

StatisticallyChallenged · 16/09/2012 12:39

I wish we had a like button sometimes

Mrsjay · 16/09/2012 12:40

I have changed my name to be more, well polite

thank you for namechanging saves my blushes Grin

seeker · 16/09/2012 12:48

"Ha fucking ha this 13 year old new girl sounds posh so let's beat the shit out of her and make her a social outcast for 5 years. Adults who bend to this shit are irresponsible twats in my opinion. If a teacher encouraged all the kids to rip the shit of a kid because she lived on a council estate there would be hell to pay."

Awful. But sadly I don't think there would be that much hell to pay in some schools.

At a friend's child's school they had a "chavtastic" theme for their Christmas party and dressed accordingly. Such fun.

Also awful.

Softlysoftly · 16/09/2012 12:52

seeker that's Shock