To not send dd to school with a tie until school returns the other two?

[Lowla]

My daughter has recently started primary school. Last week was the first week of gym and she came out of school with no tie on. The teacher said another child must have taken it home by mistake, and not to worry as i'd sewn dd's name on it so it would be returned.

This week, on Monday, she had gym again. The first tie still hadn't been returned and she'd been wearing her spare one to school since.
She came out at hometime with no tie again! The teacher apologised and said - again - her name's on it so it should be returned soon. I told the teacher that 2 ties going missing in as many weeks in not on, and i'd have to send dd to school with no tie until they'd been returned. The teacher was a bit funny about this, asked if i had another spare tie instead. When i said no, she sent out a letter out to parents the next day (Tuesday) asking if my dd's ties had been put in their children's bags by mistakes. Yesterday, none of the ties had been handed in and dd was still being sent to school tie-less. The teacher said that she has a spare one in her desk i could borrow in the mean time. I had a look at it and it has a big paint stain down it, so i said no. She then asked if i would consider buying another one and she'd make sure that it would be safe during all future gym lessons. I said no. Ties are £7.50 each and i'd already lost £15. I wasn't prepared to spend anymore.

Anyway, this morning, the HEAD came up to me and said that it looks bad for the school if a pupil doesn't comply with uniform rules, especially a primary one. She said that children's stuff goes missing all the time at school, it's all part of it and tried to make out it was dd's fault for not being responsible enough.

DD has told me that she left both ties on her desk each time before heading off to the gym hall, and when she gets back afterwards, the children are very excited and throw the uniform all around the room - so obviously mix ups happen.

I asked the head if she could please look at all the children's ties in dd's class to try and identify hers as her name's stitched in. She said she couldn't do this as it would embarrass the children. I refused to buy a tie, she offered to sell me one for £5 instead and I still said no.

She was really annoyed by then and said dd's golden time might suffer as a result of not wearing the correct uniform.

Sorry, this is much longer than i thought it would be.

Am i being unreasonable not buying another tie? Should i stand my ground and wait on getting offered a free one?

Does your daughter regularly lose things?

Who on earth puts primary children in a tie, AND expects them not to loose it
Yanbu

such a waste of parents money and teacher time, not to mention all the stress caused

fgs, ties for primary school?

why don't you take the replacement tie that has been offered, and give it a clean?

I think YABU, but the school shouldn't be quite so insistent with you.

I don't understand why it woudo embarass the children to have their labels checked. I work in reception, we do it all the time. It's a non event.

£7.50 for a tie ???!!!

Ties for children under the age of 8 are ridiculous. I'm sure the teacher has better things to worry as you have better things to spend monet on.

or even money

I thought most Primary Schools had ties as part of their uniform?

How old is your DD?

How do you know that the children get excited and throw the uniforms around the classroom? Is your DD doing this, resulting in her tie being lost behind furniture etc?

If I was sure this was true I wouldn't buy another tie until I was reassured that the staff had made changes and were in better control when the children were changing.

Then I would be willing to buy the £5 one on the understanding that this is the last one I would be buying during this school year.

Is this a state primary school? I'm pretty sure they cannot punish her for not having a tie.

She is 4 or 5 yes? You have bought two ties, both of which had the name label sewn on, and neither of which have been returned.

This is why I buy iron on name labels, and try to put the somewhere visible (for example on the front waistband of trousers, on the bottom corner of the front of shirts and jumpers, etc. Because some parents have no shame and will just think "Ooh goody bonus uniform" and cut the name label off and keep your child's uniform!

Anyone else losing the ties?

Stand your ground op.

No, she's very good at keeping her things safe normally.

I would have preferred just to send her in a polo shirt and tieless for gym days, and asked if i could when i was enrolling her, but the school is super strict with unform. They have to wear their normal shirt with a tie and put their gym top and shorts in their bag for them to change in and out of.

I think the teacher has been very reasonable in handing out a letter asking for the tie back, and offering a replacement, and guaranteeing that it won't be lost in future (although how any teacher can guarantee that a child doesn?t lose clothes during gym class I don't know).

You could also suggest that the teacher asks the children to look at their own ties while getting dressed after PE and bring them to her if they do not see their own names.

Personally I would stand my ground as who is to say a third tie won't go missing and £7.50 a tie bloody hell!

I'd be well pissed off if named items weren't sent back by those Parents and I don't see why the ties couldn't be checked by the teacher in class.

Have you checked lost property?

is there a lost property bin in school?, at my dc's school, any clothing left laying around is scooped up and chucked in a bog box, parents are welcome anytime to go and have a root through it. and does your dd have a tray, locker or book bag for her stuff, i'd get her to pop her tie in there during pe so it's safe.

My DS lost ties all the time. Ironically when he left school though he still had two ties, first time in years. Do they have a secondhand shop or anything? The Friends of DS'school used to have one to raise funds for the school.
I understand how you feel, and I can't see why the teacher can't check the ties. We used to check children's uniform all the time because it is quite common for children to pick up the wrong item by mistake. Quite often the shirt/trousers/skirt is the problem.
Perhaps you should take up the matter of children throwing uniform around because that doesn't sound like good discipline.

sorry big box, not bog box

Do you know what the routine is at changing time and how many staff are available to help how many children?

We get them to put their uniform back in their PE bags as soon as they have taken it off, and that helps control things quite well.

How old is your DD?

thought most Primary Schools had ties as part of their uniform?
no its polo shirts all round normally....
if only teachers could spend their time teaching.

mmm has a Mother of a boy who loses something every day, lunchbox, sweaters, bottles... I can sympathise with you it is so annoying and I think as both were named should turn up. However not as to embarrass your DD would take spare and wash. Should not be punished though as they know situation.