To not send dd to school with a tie until school returns the other two?

[Lowla]

My daughter has recently started primary school. Last week was the first week of gym and she came out of school with no tie on. The teacher said another child must have taken it home by mistake, and not to worry as i'd sewn dd's name on it so it would be returned.

This week, on Monday, she had gym again. The first tie still hadn't been returned and she'd been wearing her spare one to school since.
She came out at hometime with no tie again! The teacher apologised and said - again - her name's on it so it should be returned soon. I told the teacher that 2 ties going missing in as many weeks in not on, and i'd have to send dd to school with no tie until they'd been returned. The teacher was a bit funny about this, asked if i had another spare tie instead. When i said no, she sent out a letter out to parents the next day (Tuesday) asking if my dd's ties had been put in their children's bags by mistakes. Yesterday, none of the ties had been handed in and dd was still being sent to school tie-less. The teacher said that she has a spare one in her desk i could borrow in the mean time. I had a look at it and it has a big paint stain down it, so i said no. She then asked if i would consider buying another one and she'd make sure that it would be safe during all future gym lessons. I said no. Ties are £7.50 each and i'd already lost £15. I wasn't prepared to spend anymore.

Anyway, this morning, the HEAD came up to me and said that it looks bad for the school if a pupil doesn't comply with uniform rules, especially a primary one. She said that children's stuff goes missing all the time at school, it's all part of it and tried to make out it was dd's fault for not being responsible enough.

DD has told me that she left both ties on her desk each time before heading off to the gym hall, and when she gets back afterwards, the children are very excited and throw the uniform all around the room - so obviously mix ups happen.

I asked the head if she could please look at all the children's ties in dd's class to try and identify hers as her name's stitched in. She said she couldn't do this as it would embarrass the children. I refused to buy a tie, she offered to sell me one for £5 instead and I still said no.

She was really annoyed by then and said dd's golden time might suffer as a result of not wearing the correct uniform.

Sorry, this is much longer than i thought it would be.

Am i being unreasonable not buying another tie? Should i stand my ground and wait on getting offered a free one?

yep it is much better, i label all clothes like this with a sharpie marker, its quick and easy and i put their names in three places on each item of clothing so its easily spotted!

on trousers i do inside waistband, on the on the inside of the pocket, so easy to turn a pocket out and see a name! and also on the label, or bottom hem of the trousers! i will be dammed if i lose stuff, with 4 kids at school uniform gets expensive and as they are all boys its good to hand stuff down, so i just put our surname (double barreled and no-one at school with the same one) and that way i can hand it down as well!

losing two ties in two weeks esp at £7:50 each would PISS me off! but i bet someone has cut the label out, some parents really are that shitty! they are the minority but unfortunately it happens :(

FWIW, my DS is in P1 in Scotland and the school uniform is proper shirts, ties and blazers. I'd be really pissed off too, but I think losing bits of school uniform is par for the course.

at posters who would choose a different school based on the uniform including a tie, surely that must be way down the list of priorities in choosing a school?!It also doesn't work like that in Scotland, you don't choose a school, the vast vast majority go to their catchment school.

Our Dc's take their PE kit in in a PE bag and it all gets left at school for the full half term at the end of which, it is sent home to be disinfected washed!

My goodness, your school seems very over the top to me!!!my dd is in primary and they can wear polo shirts, NO ties, and there pe kit stays in school till half term!!!!

I had to laugh at those of you that have said to OP that she will be known as one of 'those' parents and the talk of the staff room.

I for one couldn't give a shit what the teachers at my DCs schools think of me. I don't know why some people think that teachers' opinions of parents are so important. Teachers are there to teach my child. As long as they are doing that well then they can love me, hate me, slag me off, laugh about me, I really couldn't care less.

Are they clip on ties?

I hate school uniform, and this kind of ridiculous saga is just a small part of why!
However, you said you had asked the school before term whether your DD could go in without her tie on PE days... So I would bet good money that they now think you are telling fibs and pretending DD's tie is lost so she doesn't have to wear one, that is why they are not being more helpful/sympathetic. Betcha. :)

Teacher should be aware of what each child is wearing before gym and ensuring they are wearing the same after gym. Teacher is therefore incompetent at classroom management and you should write a simple letter, similar to your first post in this thread, to the local education authority. Send a copy to the headmaster. If clothes are going missing on a regular basis like you have described, the teacher is demonstrating an inability to effectively supervise their class. If you don't file a complaint, this will continue to happen and nothing will change.

School are self-governing. The LA will not be interested I'm afraid, and has no influence in this kind of situation. If you want to complain, it would be to the head teacher and then to the governors... But honestly, life is too short.

Or she could get herself voted onto the board of governors and change the school from the inside.

I am bloody stubborn too - and hate to feel I am being taken advantage of. I'd probably do what you have done - and then wonder how to get out of the corner if nothing changed.

My son has lost numerous jumpers, fleeces etc. Drives me nuts.

Buy a new tie. White marker pen for black things, black cd pen for anything that it will show on. Cannot be removed. Since I changed to this less has gone missing.

I take it your daughter takes her PE kit in a bag. Tell her to put all her clothes/tie etc. in the bag when she gets changed.

We've been back 1.5 weeks, and between 2 kids we have so far 'lost' 2 jumpers and a tie, and totally trashed 2 shirts with permanent pens used in class.

Last year ds1 lost his pe sweatshirt in the first week - it was one of the only things bought new - and we never got it back. Argh. We also lost 5 jumpers and 2 pairs of socks. All named.

Something of MINE was taken from the playground at pick-up time, and it took a week for it to be snuck back into school . This isnt the norm, its a lovely school, but not getting uniform back is very normal.

Sharpie to do HUGE names all over the inside of clothing, definitely.

If your children leave an item of clothing lying around at home or when you are out do you automatically pick it up and don't say anything? I'm wondering if some children aren't being taught to look out for their own stuff and expect them to appear magically on their pegs at home time! Maybe this is something that could be added to the 'what should your child be able do when they start school' list. They won't be perfect (dd3(14) still loses kit etc and won't look after her own stuff grr) but it's something that could be attempted to be taught at home alongside independent dressing and undressing.

This isn't aimed at anyone in particular btw but in my own case with dd3, I never bothered to try and make her understand that her belongings were her responsibility, I just assumed she would know!