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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider not sending DD on the residential school trip because she is too young?

153 replies

NCForNow · 13/09/2012 17:05

She's just turned 8. She is in year 4. She only began at this school a year ago and is JUST finding her feet...naturally shy and quiet.

She says she wants to go.

It seems SO young! Two nights and three days away doing adventure type things.

AIBU to consider not sending her?

OP posts:
spoonsspoonsspoons · 13/09/2012 17:06

YABU if she wants to go

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 13/09/2012 17:06

Yes, YABU. Especially if she wants to go.

Why do you think she is too young? Don't you think the thing will be designed for children of her age?

Inneedofbrandy · 13/09/2012 17:06

I still remember my year4 trip. It was so cool. Stop being so precious and let her get on with it, she says she wants to.

lisaro · 13/09/2012 17:06

Of course she isn't too young! If the school thought she was she wouldn't be going! Maybe she's just too PFB.

GreenD · 13/09/2012 17:07

If she wants to go, and the rest of her class are going, I would let her go.

Original poster
NCForNow · 13/09/2012 17:07

Oh its because she's only spent a couple of nights away from home and then at her cousins....

She might miss me! She might struggle...I don't know...she is only JUST 8.

OP posts:
PunkInDublic · 13/09/2012 17:07

YABU. Experiences like this will help her find her feet. You say she's shy and quiet, if so it's great that she wants to go, will help build confidence.

It's hard when they go away for the first time, probably harder on you than her. We'll all be here for hand holding when she goes you know Wink

Original poster
NCForNow · 13/09/2012 17:08

she is pfb.

I have DD2 but my PFB worries me!

OP posts:
seeker · 13/09/2012 17:08

If she wants to go you are being unreasonable. If she doesn't you may still be being unreasonable, but you may not be.

Hope this helps! Grin

Floralnomad · 13/09/2012 17:08

If she is keen to go you should definitely let her .is it far away?

Original poster
NCForNow · 13/09/2012 17:08

How dare the school do this to me!! I thought it would be year 6! oh God!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
NCForNow · 13/09/2012 17:09

Not VERY far but it's not up the road either.

OP posts:
musicmadness · 13/09/2012 17:10

If she wants to go I think you should let her. Loads of schools do residentials in Y4 and the majority of kids are fine. If there was a big problem the teacher could always phone you to pick her up. It's not for a long time really.

If she is shy this could really help her bond with the other children, they will all have a great shared experience and it could help her feel properly settled into the class.

Maybe speak to the teacher if you are concerned? They can tell you exactly what they will be doing and how they deal with any homesickness etc. That could help set your mind at ease.

Original poster
NCForNow · 13/09/2012 17:11

Oh dear. Sad The thought of her going away for three days is awful! And I have had to get used to DD2 starting school aswell!

OP posts:
TinyDancingHoofer · 13/09/2012 17:11

You can have some one to one time with dd2. And dd1 will love it. School trips were the best

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 13/09/2012 17:11

How dare the school do this to me?

I take it you meant that tounge in cheek, but I still think its a horrible thing to say.

How dare the school, and the teachers, go out of their way to spend time away from their own families (which they won't get paid extra for) to provide your child with an amazing experience and learning opportunity that she will probably love? Hmm

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 13/09/2012 17:12

I had my first school trip away when I was 7 (to Jersey for a week for a church thing - was a C of E school) It was fine.

DD, who is also yr 4 but 9 in November, has just had a letter home because they want to do a 3 day residential thing in Calais. DH is a bit iffy because of her age, but I think she'll love it (she's been begging since we got the letter) As long as it doesn't cost to much and I'm happy with the adult-to-child ratio going (meeting on Monday) then we'll probably send her.

So, I think you're a tiny bit U to not even consider it. She'd probably have a great time, and it would be a great way to bond with her friends and give her a boost of confidence. What actually scares you about it? Are you worried she'll get upset and miss you, or do you worry that you can't trust the school to look after her?

betterwhenthesunshines · 13/09/2012 17:12

DD will do her first residential trip this year - in Yr 3 ....

She has her bag packed already and they don't go until May. It's going to be a long wait :o

xxDebstarxx · 13/09/2012 17:13

Before making your decision it's best to ask the school if any school work will be based on the trip. When my children went on their first residential trip the following fortnights work was all based around it.

It is horrible when you realise your baby is going to do things without you but my advice is to let her go. You are at the end of a phone if she wants to come home early.

lljkk · 13/09/2012 17:13

Not too young, i signed up & sent DD to Brownies pack hol, 5 nights, when

  1. She had never had a night away from us
  2. she had only been to Brownies 3 times before I paid the deposit
  3. she was still 7 during the actual packhol.
  4. She had been the shyest child possible until end of yr1, too
  5. no real previous friends in Brownies.

She had a blast at pack holiday, didn't want to come home.

BartletForTeamGB · 13/09/2012 17:13

We take Brownies away (7-10 year olds) for a few nights at that age.

Inneedofbrandy · 13/09/2012 17:13

Oh god, your one of those mum's who'd go and stay in the nearest B&B aren't you....

MaureenMLove · 13/09/2012 17:13

Lots and lots of yr4 children go on a school residential and lots and lots of parents panic and worry and post on Mumsnet.

And lots and lots of parents, come back to Mumsnet a few years later to say, 'I was a bit of a wuss wasn't I?' WinkGrin

I did it! DD is my pfb and my only. She was not keen on staying over night anywhere until she insisted she was going on the yr 4 trip. Years later (she is almost 17 now) I struggle to keep her in! Last year, she went to Sweden for 3 weeks with the Scouts! I had contact about 3 times! Grin

BartletForTeamGB · 13/09/2012 17:13

A nice cross-post!

Groovee · 13/09/2012 17:16

I take brownies away and some units I work for in schools take their P1's away for one night. If your dd is ready to go then I'd go with her. Don't whatever you do is make a fuss over how much you'll miss her. This isn't about you, it's about your dd.