to be annoyed about a special needs kid repeatedly hitting my daughter?

[thebeesnees79]

Ok so the little one has special needs and its only fair that he goes into a main stream pre school. however my daughter keeps coming out upset because the same little boy is hitting her almost daily, She has just turned 3 at the end of July. do I A) Ignore it as he is special needs and can't help it or do I B)Make a point of telling staff because they have a duty to my daughter as well and its unfair that she is getting hit.
more of a what would you do than aibu?

Tell the staff. Having a disability or special need doesn't mean you can do what you like. It does mean that they have to deal with it an appropriate way for his needs, but if they let it go on they are failing in their duty of care to your child.

OP, just report it to the teacher.

As for reporting this thread because there has been a very similar one in the past - its hardly a unique situation is it.

As someone else has already pointed out, if a poster revives an old thread they get told off, but if they start a new one, they get people moaning that the topic has been discussed before. Some people on this forum seriously need to get a life.

"Some people say he hasn't got special needs because he hasn't got a learning disability but then if I say he is disabled then other people say that's an outdated and offensive word and I should say he has special needs." Strange. Since when is 'disabled' an outdated and offensive word? I've never heard that before.

I would definitely tell the teacher about this, as a parent of a SN child myself, I would be absolutely mortified to find out that my child had been hitting another child. I would want to know why this child is not being supervised at all times for not only other children but his own safety. I bet his parent are not aware of these incidences.

Maybe the people I know are very politically correct

Will people please stop getting in a huff about the language OPs use.

Answer the question!

She put SN first because that is what makes it difficult and embarrassing for her to say anything. If she didn't feel the child had a reason for hitting she would already have complained.

Mmm. I think 'disabled' was problematic ten years ago, probably more. I dug out my first ed psych report from when I was 13 and noticed it won't use the word 'disabled', it's talking about 'learning difficulty' instead of 'learning disability'. That would have been around 1999.

if they were very PC they would say "additional needs"..but I have never heard of SN only including learning disabilities

Agree that the emphasis should be on the hitting not on any special needs this child may have.

My son was bitten at his nursery, so badly that he came home covered in bleeding bite marks one day . I was livid. I met with the nursery manager who accepted blame on their side (the boy who bit him had special needs and was not obviously getting the level of supervision he required) but also worked with me on role play exercises I could do with my son to make him more assertive. He remained very wary of this boy, but overcame his fear and became a stronger and more independent child for it. He started the nursery class of our local primary last week (5 mornings per week) and is by far one of the happiest and most confident boys in the year.

I suppose my point is that our children will meet a wide variety if people in their lifetimes, if handled well this could be a positive thing for your daughter.

SN kids need extra support - that doesn't include failing to intervene when they behave inappropriately. IMO he is being let down, as well as your daughter. Neither child is being supported appropriately by the teachers entrusted with their care.

YANBU, I'd go and talk to the teachers and insist action is taken.

What isn't clear is the relative ages and size of your child and the child that is (sic) special needs. Is your child older or bigger or even provoking the other child? Either way the correct way forward is to address the responsible staff, not an internet forum.

And incidentally, just as a sort of counterbalance because (understandably) threads tend to focus on people upset when their kids are being maltreated by a child with SN - a SN child, in my own personal (possibly unrepresentative) experience is far more likely to be the victim of aggression than the perpetrator.

OP I stress I absolutely appreciate that isn't the case here, and in lots of other situations too, and it's laudable that you are aware of the dimension the disability brings to this, but I sometimes worry a bit in case people read these threads and assume a SN child is likely to be aggressive on that basis. A child with SN is far more likely than NT ones to be bullied themselves, I think.

To me this is a very strange question to ask.

Why would you not complain about your child being hit and just "let" them get hit every day just because a child has SN?

My mum cannot walk. She has always said she is physically disabled.

Is there a more pc way of saying this?

My mum would never ever dream of saying she had special needs.

It's up to her what she wants to say, isn't it?

I know people who'd be fine calling themselves whatever, and others who have a bad association with certain words. SN is usually used to refer to learning/behavioural disabilities AFAIK. Personally I feel really odd ticking the box on forms saying I have a 'disability', I feel both like a fraud, and a bit cross because to me, it's just a set of differences in how I think.

I thought the same. SN involved...and? Doesn't matter

It needs stopping, end of!

YABU to use the phrase "special needs kid".

YANBU to be annoyed about another child hitting yours, regardless of whether or not the other child has SN.

Intellectually disabled was the term used in Paralympics.

There is a kid with additional support needs in my DS class who keeps hitting DS. So I tell the teacher about it, every time. My DS has additional support needs too, by the way.

ellie I hate the phrase 'special needs' because it's so close to calling someone 'special'. My DS isn't special, he is his own unique self, but he isn't special. To access an education he needs additional support. Not 'special' support, just specific support (whether he gets it or not is another thread but heigh-ho). A child with English as a second language may also need additional support, for example. Doesn't make them special, just means they have specific needs.

Your child sounds like he doesn't have any additional support needs around his learning, ie no learning problems or disabilities, but if he uses a wheelchair he may need additional support to move around school etc, and access his education.

That all said, I've never came across anyone who thinks disabled is outdated or offensive...

Sadly the phrase "special" and "special needs" are used by councils, to describe "special schools"

You're quite right, additional needs or support is more apt.

FFS uppercut 'the budding little psychopath' is hardly adding to the debate. Reported.