Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to over-rule DH over letting our kids take part in an activity.

127 replies

freddiefrog · 07/09/2012 15:55

Our girls are 11 and 7. They have been invited to take part in an activity which I really don't want them to do.

I'm not a stick in the mud, I let them do lots of things I'm not entirely comfortable with but this particular activity I really don't want them to do - I don't think it's particularly safe for children of their ages and I don't think theyre strong enough to get themselves out of trouble if anything happens. There will be back up but it's not enough for me.

DH wants them to do it. Kids aren't bothered either way.

We're currently going round in circles arguing about it

I usually go along with things as I know the girls will enjoy them and let them get on with it while watching through my hands with gritted teeth, but this activity really scares me and I 100% do not want them to take part so I've said no.

DH thinks I am being unreasonable and he should also have a say. I do agree with him, and in all other areas we do discuss things and take a decision together, but we're never going to agree or come to a compromise on this one

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 07/09/2012 15:56

Need to know what the activity is before I can judge.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 07/09/2012 15:57

what is the activity?

Shellywelly1973 · 07/09/2012 15:57

What's the activity?

WaitingForMe · 07/09/2012 15:57

Cue a dozen posts asking what the activity is.

The fact you omit to say what it is suggests to me you know you'll be told you're being unreasonable.

FrankWippery · 07/09/2012 15:57

Well what is it?

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 07/09/2012 15:58

Ditto.

Original poster
freddiefrog · 07/09/2012 16:00

I didnt want to say as I didn't want to out myself.

It involves rowing along the south coast in small rowing boats.

There will be adults in a safety boat nearby, and life jackets, etc but I don't want them to do it.

OP posts:
Original poster
freddiefrog · 07/09/2012 16:00

Neither of them are that strong swimmers

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 07/09/2012 16:01

I'd let them do it. Sounds very safe, actually. That is, if they can swim!

TakingTheStairs · 07/09/2012 16:02

There will be adult supervision and they'll be wearing life jackets?
In that case then I think YABU.

FiveHoursSleep · 07/09/2012 16:02

Can they swim at all? How many boats of kids compared to boats of adults?
What do the kids think?

Original poster
freddiefrog · 07/09/2012 16:02

Just to add, they do a lot of out doorsy type activities, DD1 does kayaking but it's in a more sheltered area. They surf and body board, etc, so I don't think I am mollycoddling them, I just don't want them to do this one activity

OP posts:
TakingTheStairs · 07/09/2012 16:03

If they're wearing lifejackets it doesn't matter if they're strong swimmers or not. If the worst happens and they end up in the water, the life jackets will keep them afloat and safe until the adults in the safety boat pick them out of the water.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 07/09/2012 16:03

It completely depends on the ratio of adults to children. Will DH be there. If he will, I say YABU.

Original poster
freddiefrog · 07/09/2012 16:05

Kids aren't bothered if they go or not

Plans are for 1 rib safety boat, not sure how many kids/boats as they don't know how many kids are taking part yet

They can swim, DD1 better than DD2 but only in swimming pool type areas

OP posts:
kim147 · 07/09/2012 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarysBeard · 07/09/2012 16:06

Make sure they are wearing proper lifejackets not buoyancy aids though.

EmmelineGoulden · 07/09/2012 16:07

If there is a history of children getting killed or seriously injured doing this activity then YANBU. But if you are scared because it sounds or feels risky to you, but in years of practice no one has actually come to serious harm then YABU and should treat it like other physical activities.

Original poster
freddiefrog · 07/09/2012 16:07

I'd have no problem if it was in the bays or more sheltered areas, but it's about 60 miles along the coast, some of the coast isn't quite so safe, busy shipping lanes, etc.

Its just this 1 activity I'm having the heebie jeebies over

OP posts:
kinkynagbag · 07/09/2012 16:07

you say they are nto great swimmers, but ar ehappy for them to do kayaking. surf and body board. they all involve the the water!

there really isnt much differeance to them rowing a boat.

imo i would get them swimming lessons so they are confideant in the water before allwoing any child to get in the water.

beside they will have life jackets on and adult supervision in the water.

yabu i think.

NatashaBee · 07/09/2012 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrankWippery · 07/09/2012 16:08

Oh blimey, I thought it was skydiving or something...

Meh, if they're wearing life jackets I can't see any reason for them not too. I'm quite sure there must be rules and regs well in place for appropriate numbers of children to adult supervisors.

financialwizard · 07/09/2012 16:12

I think it is a bit hypocritical to let them surf but stop them from rowing a boat. So I think YABU, but I also think the children should be having swimming lessons if they are not strong swimmers.

Kayano · 07/09/2012 16:12

So they do loads of water activities but for some reason this one is suddenly not ok?

Yabu! and odd and inconsistent

Original poster
freddiefrog · 07/09/2012 16:14

Im not particularly happy about the surfing, etc, but they do it with a local watersports centre which is in a more sheltered bay with proper instructors, shallower water, etc.

I'm not a big fan of water myself so the thought of little rowing boats out there with cruise ships and ferries, in fairly open water scared the life out of me.

It's just that with all the other things I've gone along with, I'd just like DH to accept I don't want them to do this.

Kids aren't fussed whether they do it or not, if they wanted to I'd consider it

OP posts: