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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for wanting to tell this old woman to sod off??

146 replies

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:11

I joined weight watchers yesterday and it was an old lady signing you in.

During the meeting the leader was talking about 'ways to get moving more' Not really the gym or classes just doing things in everyday life to up your day to day movement.

Now I don't have a car so I walk and move around alot.

The leader said 'does anyone do their shopping online?'

So I said 'Me'

And she made the point that I should try and do the shopping in person as walking around the shop pushing the trolley is better than sitting at the PC.

I pointed out that I walk EVERYWHERE including a full 2 HOURs a day doing the back and forth school run and that it would be difficult getting the shopping as I don't have a car.

So the old woman who signs you in chirps up at this point shouting 'Well I don't have a car, I get up and get on the bus!! its not hard to carry shopping lovey'

Cue laughter.....

and me feeling stupid :(

but I have a family of 7!! and when i do the online shopping I start with five 2litre bottles of water!!

So how the hell am i supposed to get weekly shopping for 7 people, on the bus, with a one year old AND a 3 year old with me alone???

She made me feel really stupid and lazy but It just WOULD NOT be possible for me to get my shopping on the bus with my kids :(

OP posts:
WhatYouLookingAt · 05/09/2012 11:13

What has her age got to do with it? You mention it several times.

Why didn't you just tell her that you do a weekly shop for 7? Its no big deal.

Original poster
EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:13

And i suffer from depression and anxiety so it took alot of me to go there and it really threw me, I felt like I was being ridiculed :(

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/09/2012 11:13

I'm not sure what her age has to do with it, but YANBU - she sounds rude and unable to realise that everyone's life is different.

Original poster
EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:14

I felt stupid with everyone looking at me so I just kept quiet.

I mention her age as its always the old women tutting at me on the bus when I do try to get on with kids and shopping!

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 05/09/2012 11:15

She didn't know your situation but should have maybe stfu but you just smile and ignore.

Original poster
EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:15

And I would think as you get older you would have the grace to be more polite?!

OP posts:
ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:15

References to 'old' aside, I don't think its fair of them to single you out and nigh-on ridicule your choices in this way. This would have narked me too.

peeriebear · 05/09/2012 11:16

I can see why you feel a bit slighted, I HATE to be made to feel stupid.
I'd have said "Do YOU shop for a family of seven? Because I do, and I'd need to take three bus trips to get it home!" or something similarly light hearted, but with a bit of a barb underneath.

Namechangegalore · 05/09/2012 11:17

What a cow! She sounds like Marjorie from Fat Fighters in Little Britain.

peeriebear · 05/09/2012 11:17

"Next time you can come and help me carry it then, you get the ten litres of water"

megandraper · 05/09/2012 11:17

Yes she was rude. I shop online - don't have a car and couldn't begin to carry the groceries for our family of seven.

You sound a bit prejudiced though, calling her a rude 'old' woman, sorry - maybe it was because you thought her age means she's only shopping for one or two people and doesn't appreciate the difference for you?

I agree though, in that sort of situation it's important people don't feel ridiculed. I would have a quiet word with the leader about that.

Original poster
EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:17

I wouldn't have the confidence to say that though, its part of me trying to be more confident joining WW in the first place.

OP posts:
Bucharest · 05/09/2012 11:18

So you want to lose weight, and the woman running the losing weight thing points out another way you could lose weight......and?

I'd worry about some more serious issues in life if I were you.

And her age has nothing to do with anything other than on MN it seems to be a kneejerk default thread title if someone feels professionally offended. The offender is always "old". I suppose "AIBU to want to smack this young woman round the chops" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it?

BlackberryIce · 05/09/2012 11:18

Why oh why did you pipe up with 'me'?? If you are an anxious person then you should know it would be leading somewhere....

DawnOfTheDee · 05/09/2012 11:19

Genuine question - why are you buying water? If you're in the UK tapwater is fine.

Original poster
EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:19

Sorry, I was just being descriptive and its the fact that old women always seem pissed of that im on the bus with my buggy and kids, then she was moaning about me avaoiding that buy doing it online. I've had alot of people tutting on the bus and its always old women, I'm not stereotyping thats my genuine experience.

OP posts:
slartybartfast · 05/09/2012 11:19

some poeple like to argue for the sake of it.
dont worry about her. you are going for yourself.

Ithinkitsjustme · 05/09/2012 11:20

Don't let her put you off going, (although I prefer Slimming World Grin), I'd probably have laughed at the idea that getting on a bus was better for you anyway! [sceptical]I also have to shop for 7 and usually go to Costco in the car, it's not easy carrying that amount of shopping from teh trolley to the car boot let aone anywhere else. Don't let her get to you, good on you for walking through the door in the first place, I'm putting it off until next week as my kids only went back to school today and the class is on a Monday!

slartybartfast · 05/09/2012 11:20

and basiclaly yes the ww woman was just giving examples of how to be more active, not a call for a conversation about it. not really.

ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:20

Can't help but agree with Blackberry. But I guess you were just trying to exercise some confidence, OP.

Did you find the rest of the class worthwhile?

Original poster
EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:20

I don't like the taste of our tapwater Dawn, its not very nice! Its ok if you add cordial, but I'm trying to avoid that.

OP posts:
Mintyy · 05/09/2012 11:20

Have a word with the group leader - no one who works for WW should be making you feel bad about yourself.

But, yes, less of the ageism please, its rather horrible.

MyLastDuchess · 05/09/2012 11:21

Yeah it's not that hard to carry shopping for one or two people ... trying to wrangle two kids at the same time is another matter! And as for trying to do the shop for 7 people Biscuit.

Sounds like they have a "no excuses" attitude but sometimes there ARE good reasons for not doing things a certain way. I'm not surprised you felt singled out in front of everyone.

MarquiseOfMelburnia · 05/09/2012 11:21

I think there was too much focus on the shopping bit, rather than what it was really about, which was upping our activity in areas we may not usually consider.

I would have just smiled and told her that going to the supermarket by bus just wasn't feasible when doing a shop for a family of 7, however you would consider being more active in other areas of your life, if 2 hours walking a day wasn't enough already.

And then offer her a Biscuit

Original poster
EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:22

Ermmm, because noone else was answering (i guess no one else did shop online as they were all active in the rest of the class) so I just raised my hand.

OP posts: