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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for wanting to tell this old woman to sod off??

146 replies

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:11

I joined weight watchers yesterday and it was an old lady signing you in.

During the meeting the leader was talking about 'ways to get moving more' Not really the gym or classes just doing things in everyday life to up your day to day movement.

Now I don't have a car so I walk and move around alot.

The leader said 'does anyone do their shopping online?'

So I said 'Me'

And she made the point that I should try and do the shopping in person as walking around the shop pushing the trolley is better than sitting at the PC.

I pointed out that I walk EVERYWHERE including a full 2 HOURs a day doing the back and forth school run and that it would be difficult getting the shopping as I don't have a car.

So the old woman who signs you in chirps up at this point shouting 'Well I don't have a car, I get up and get on the bus!! its not hard to carry shopping lovey'

Cue laughter.....

and me feeling stupid :(

but I have a family of 7!! and when i do the online shopping I start with five 2litre bottles of water!!

So how the hell am i supposed to get weekly shopping for 7 people, on the bus, with a one year old AND a 3 year old with me alone???

She made me feel really stupid and lazy but It just WOULD NOT be possible for me to get my shopping on the bus with my kids :(

OP posts:

Namechangegalore · 05/09/2012 11:22

I don't sit on the bus often, but when I do, the old people on the bus are lovely. Yesterday, two old women played and talked to DS for a 20 min journey when he started crying and he sat and stared at them quietly. He never sits quietly in a bus. I wonder why the old people in your area are so rude....

slartybartfast · 05/09/2012 11:22

you are allowed to do online shopping. dont worry about it. it will be forgotten next week.

honeytea · 05/09/2012 11:22

What a nasty lady! If you have time to track to the shops on the bus you could always use the time to take a walk with the kids I'm sure you'd all enjoy that much more and you'd get the same excersise.

I was made to feel really stupid at weight watchers, they asked about taking a walk after work and I said I walk loads in my job (I also don't have a car) I walk around 5km a day they just said I was being silly counting the walking I do at work.

ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:23

i guess no one else did shop online as they were all active in the rest of the class

No, they just knew Brenda would pipe up and belittle them if they admitted to it more like.

Hullygully · 05/09/2012 11:23

You should have run at her and wrestled her to the ground and screamed, "SHUT IT GRANNY!"

NCForNow · 05/09/2012 11:24

Yanbu. Complain!

ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:24

Then bitchslapped her round the chops.

Hullygully · 05/09/2012 11:26

Oh I don't think so, Vivi.

Somnetimes they need learning

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:26

I didn't mean to sound 'ageist' sorry

That wasn't my intention, but she kept saying things about 'in her day' and going on about the fact that when she was young she didn't have the option of online shopping ect... so it was her highlighting her age that made me think of her as 'the old woman'

and I think its sad she had to struggle when her kids were younger, not something to boast about.

Online shopping makes life a little easier without a car.

OP posts:

NarkedRaspberry · 05/09/2012 11:27

I'm sorry you were embarrassed. If you suffer with anxiety that must have been crushing.

Keep your online shop. Don't let this get in the way of the good thing you're doing.

WorraLiberty · 05/09/2012 11:27

Just a quick question....

Does she actually know how many children you have?

Because if she doesn't know you're a family of 7, then I can kind of understand how she was thinking.

She was still rude to you though if she made you feel awkward.

ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:29

Silly woman. I bet half the class were laughing because they were feeling uncomfortable and relieved that they weren't the one being singled out. And wondering if they were going to make it home in time for Brian in the Courgette van.

WorraLiberty · 05/09/2012 11:29

I don't think she's boasting about having to struggle with her kids 'in her day'.

What she's probably trying to point out is that a large part of the obesity epidemic is due to the fact so many people lead sedentary life styles.

People moved around much more 'in her day'...even house work was a lot more physical without so many mod cons.

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/09/2012 11:30

You really have a problem with 'old women' OP.
What constitutes old? .
I also assume she didn't know you had a family of 7, it was just a suggestion to get you taking more exercise.
I'm so sick of the ageism on MN.

KenLeeeeeee · 05/09/2012 11:30

I think the use of the word "lovey" would have enraged me most tbh. It's so patronising! Yes, actually, it IS hard to carry 7 people's worth of shopping whilst simultaneously looking out for 2 young children on public transport. Anyone trying to do it would have to be entirely bonkers.

Online grocery shopping has been a godsend in this house and I'll gladly accept a lost opportunity to burn a few calories in exchange for avoiding the HELL that comes with taking kids into a busy supermarket.

slartybartfast · 05/09/2012 11:30

some eejit at my health and safety at work class was suggesting we do our shopping daily, so as not to harm our backs! we were all workers! not housewives

ww woman was just searchign for examples. dont take it personally. just lie if necessary.

NarkedRaspberry · 05/09/2012 11:30

Maybe she lives near where I went to school. We gave up our seats for older people (these were usually women) and then got to stand there whilst they bitched about our school (private). As they sat surrounded by children from the local schools who never gave up their bloody seats.

ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:31

And if she was making those points, Worra, then she would be entirely justified in doing so. But I suspect it was the sanctimonious tone with which these valid points were being delivered that got the OP's bitchslap reflexes twitching.

TroublesomeEx · 05/09/2012 11:32

Actually, shopping online is better for weightloss than walking round the supermarket because you plan, make a list and then shop online. No opportunity to be tempted whilst walking round.

So a big to that woman!

Maybe you were the only one to put your hand up because you're the newbie and everyone else knows better by now.

Maybe they were laughing out of relief that they weren't on the receiving end this time.

Maybe they were laughing to cover up their embarrassment that she was so rude.

nailak · 05/09/2012 11:32

I don't do internet shopping, once a month I get in the bus, go to the shop and take a cab home.

I wouldn't say it adds to my excercise though, just my stress levels.

MmeLindor · 05/09/2012 11:33

Don't be so defensive, Everybody and never mind about the ageist comments - I woudl have said old woman to describe her if she was elderly too.

She was rude. Next time work up the confidence to talk back to her in a polite but dismissive manner.

You can practice on AIBU. I find I am much more assertive thanks to years of MN training.

Well done for going to WW. If I had 7 kids, I don't think a bomb would shift me from the sofa in the evenings.

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:33

Gosh, I'm not ageist, I am a primary carer for my 70 year old nana and visit 2 elderly neigbours regularly on our street to go shopping for them - because thy are lovely, understanding people who enjoy my kids coming round to see them :(

OP posts:

ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:34

Are you going to go back, OP?

NarkedRaspberry · 05/09/2012 11:35

Agree Folkgirl. With internet shops you have the time to go back through the list and take off anything you don't really need. I find it keeps the cost down and cuts waste.

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:35

Yes I'm going back, I have 2 stone to loose and need to!

I just might not be so quick to put my hand up

OP posts:

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