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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for wanting to tell this old woman to sod off??

146 replies

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:11

I joined weight watchers yesterday and it was an old lady signing you in.

During the meeting the leader was talking about 'ways to get moving more' Not really the gym or classes just doing things in everyday life to up your day to day movement.

Now I don't have a car so I walk and move around alot.

The leader said 'does anyone do their shopping online?'

So I said 'Me'

And she made the point that I should try and do the shopping in person as walking around the shop pushing the trolley is better than sitting at the PC.

I pointed out that I walk EVERYWHERE including a full 2 HOURs a day doing the back and forth school run and that it would be difficult getting the shopping as I don't have a car.

So the old woman who signs you in chirps up at this point shouting 'Well I don't have a car, I get up and get on the bus!! its not hard to carry shopping lovey'

Cue laughter.....

and me feeling stupid :(

but I have a family of 7!! and when i do the online shopping I start with five 2litre bottles of water!!

So how the hell am i supposed to get weekly shopping for 7 people, on the bus, with a one year old AND a 3 year old with me alone???

She made me feel really stupid and lazy but It just WOULD NOT be possible for me to get my shopping on the bus with my kids :(

OP posts:

pigletmania · 05/09/2012 11:36

Ignore. She was rude, and insensitive. I guess you might have said, that easy said and done if you don't have a family f 7 to buy for. I online shop eopl do it for a varity of reasons. I would rather do tat than traipse a ASD dd and baby abut and get the bus

TroublesomeEx · 05/09/2012 11:36

Everybody but every one who is old is 'lovely' and 'sweet' and no one shall say a bad word against them.

MmeLindor · 05/09/2012 11:36

What is with this ageist stuff?

She mentioned that the woman who does the signing in is elderly. She did not suggest euthanasia since the old bat is clearly getting on a bit.

It was relevant in that the woman was likely only shopping for herself and perhaps a husband/partner.

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:37

I think online shoppings better for my diet too, I just search for what i need and don't even look near anything chocolaty... if im in the shop they shove choccies ont he end of most aisles!!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 05/09/2012 11:37

OP that's a bit like saying "I can't be racist because I have black friends"

Sorry but your posts have definitely been ageist on this thread.

JohnWayne · 05/09/2012 11:38

Water filter would be much lighter than 5 * bottled water.

Ilovedaintynuts · 05/09/2012 11:38

Yes, shopping online is much better in the long run for meal planning and for not being tempted.

Also I'm a comfort eater and eat when I'm stressed. Shopping with 3 kids in tow makes me stressed!

I think once you start losing weight you will gain in confidence and little digs like this will go straight over your head.

Good luck!

Am I the only person that thinks about eating 'dust' as per Little Britain when they think about slimming clubs?

ViviPru · 05/09/2012 11:39

Glad to hear it, OP. Chin up and show them what you're made of by having a really successful weightloss.

Brenda's probably been there since the dawn of time because she can't shift the last half stone due to her inability to resist a Krispy Creme on her way out of Tescos.

suburbophobe · 05/09/2012 11:40

I can imagine you felt singled out and put on the spot, especially on your first day, how nasty of her. Whether young or old nasty people come in all guises....

Of course you're going to shop online in your circumstances!

I would suggest to you tho that you worry less of what other people (supposedly) think of you. Who cares what a stranger is tutt-tutting on the bus. You're not likely to ever see them again anyway....

Don't let those feelings isolate you from getting out and about.

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:41

No I'm not ageist because I base my judgement of eople on how they treat me, NOT their age. This woman HAPPENED to be old, but she was also rude and patronising.

I mentioned she was od in my OP because I doubt many 70+ year olds have five kids living with them and need to take toddlers and 1 year olds on the bus.

The fact she is 70+ suggests she has a very different shopping experience to me.

I didn't say anything negative about her age?!? just that she was old and perhaps because of that out of touch with the fact online shopping could be benficial to a young family?!

OP posts:

Ithinkitsjustme · 05/09/2012 11:46

I've said my bit about your original post OP, but just want to say that I'm not reading your posts as being ageist in any way. Just make sure you go back and good loss with your weight!

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:49

Thanks Itsjustme,

I've already lost a stone and half, but put about 5 lbs back on over the holidays! :(

so really need to go back!

OP posts:

Bucharest · 05/09/2012 11:51

Then you went on to talk about old people on buses doing that famous Mumsnet tut that I have yet to hear in real life in all my (getting on a bit) years.

I have, however, heard young whippersnappers effing and blinding at both their own children and at passers by in supermarkets, on trains, and in shopping centres. The fact that they are ignorant inbred tosspots is enough for me, without having to mention their age. Would you have (MN bingo coming up folks) mentioned her wheelchair if she had one? Or the colour of her skin? Or her Polish accent? Thought not.

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/09/2012 11:52

But it wasn't just the woman in WW that Op has mentioned.
All the old women on the bus tut at her too.

Hullygully · 05/09/2012 11:52

old people do moan a lot though and often smell of wee a bit

Mintyy · 05/09/2012 11:54

I am an old woman and I think you have been a leetel bit offensive, you know. I don't see what her age has got to do with it at all! Lots of young people are single and only have to shop for one.

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:57

All, the old people do not tut at me, many are lovely but all the negative experiences I have had have come from old ladies sat with their friends talking loudly about the fact im taking up room or even that my kids probably don't have dads!!! (despite me having a wedding ring on?!)

Its not me marginalising old ladies... im just pointing out the fact that whenever i have been upset on public transport each time it has been the same type of person, an old lady.

How is that my fault? :(

OP posts:

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 11:59

Or am I being un-PC in pointing my own experiences out

OP posts:

NarkedRaspberry · 05/09/2012 12:01

Oh damn. You just had to wheel out 'un-PC' didn't you.

WorraLiberty · 05/09/2012 12:03

You just can't see it can you?

If you had mentioned she was 70+ and said "therefore she won't have the same sort of shopping as me"...that would be fine.

But you didn't, you just kept using the words 'old woman' in a derogatory manner.

And as someone else quite rightly pointed out, plenty of young people only have themselves to shop for anyway.

But I give up since reading "many are lovely but all the negative experiences I have had have come from old ladies sat with their friends talking loudly about the fact im taking up room or even that my kids probably don't have dads!!! (despite me having a wedding ring on?!)"

Because actually I don't believe that and I think you're just back tracking.

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 12:03

I don't understand though, why am I not allowed to say that old ladies have been neagtive to my young family in the past?

Its the truth,

perhaps if it had been a mix of ages and someetimes blokes then it would be different but the fact is its always been old ladies,

but I can't say that?

I'm genuinly baffled here and a bit upset.

OP posts:

Bucharest · 05/09/2012 12:04

You weren't breastfeeding on all those tutty buses were you?

That's a beeeeeeeg hole you're digging now. Can't you see you're actually getting more and more ageist with every post?

Original poster

EverybodySayHumf · 05/09/2012 12:06

Well, I don't know how I could possibly prove that to you but yes, I was sat with my (then 3) children and my youngest was crying his eyes out and the lady behind me said something along the lines of 'that poor wee lamb, hes so upset and his mum is so young, they probably don't even had dads, the poor things'

Its the truth and I've had several other experienes being told I shouldn't bring my prams on the bus.

Considering I've been pushing prams onto public transport daily for 8 years is it really so unbelievabel that i would have maybe 5 bad expereinces in that time??

Why on earth would I lie about something like that!?

OP posts:

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/09/2012 12:08

...whenever I've been upset on public transport, each time it has been the same type of person, an old lady
So are you often upset on public transport Op?
Because at the age of 56 and someone who's used a lot of public transport, I can't ever remember being upset.
You make it sound like a current occurrence.

slartybartfast · 05/09/2012 12:09

god's sake. why does it matter that it was an old woman. the op asked for support in her treatment at WW where they all laughed at her. instigated by the old woman.

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